I've made it?

[AbusedInnocent]

I've made it to my CTB spot, I know I can't stay for more than a few days though.

I could easily hang myself and nobody would find me in days.

But now I have to face SI, the concept of nonexistence is incomprehensible to me.

I'm convinced that I'm better off dead but I can't help but rethink such an important decision when I'm so close to doing it, I've already thought about it though and I know that I should do it.

I need motivation to CTB, would thinking about the worst aspects of my life give me the courage to do it? Or should I just try to calm down then get up and do it quickly without further thought?

 

[jumpman133]

I don't think any of us can realistically answer this for you. It's a personal decision and journey that you have to go on. I hope you find peace in whatever you choose.

 

[dimgobaith]

Sit and think. No one can answer that question for you. Whatever you choose, there is no wrong answer

 

[b_adr]

I've made it to my CTB spot, I know I can't stay for more than a few days though.

I could easily hang myself and nobody would find me in days.

But now I have to face SI, the concept of nonexistence is incomprehensible to me.

I'm convinced that I'm better off dead but I can't help but rethink such an important decision when I'm so close to doing it, I've already thought about it though and I know that I should do it.

I need motivation to CTB, would thinking about the worst aspects of my life give me the courage to do it? Or should I just try to calm down then get up and do it quickly without further thought?

I totally understand this. Today I ensured a successful order of SN, and I still cannot believe it, as I thought it was out of reach. And now I have to face the actual possibility of not existing. It's really weird. Also, literally cannot stop crying when thinking about my family.