I've had many bullies in the past, but perhaps one of the strangest ones was a girl in middle school who was in love with me.

[TakeMeToHeaven]

I did not reciprocate her love. She approached me multiple times hinting that she liked me.

But I am autistic, was / still am socially stunted / retarded.

So she got a taller, more muscular guy to bully / torment / traumatize me.

What did i do wrong? That's the thing, I literally didn't do anything, is apparently what i did wrong.

She would make attempts to talk to me during class, but all I could manage to reply back with were things like "Yeah", "Huh", "Okay". Literal one word responses most of the time.

But why didn't she give up? after the 3rd or 4th approach, she should have realized what was wrong with me

that i'm autistic, socially disabled, unable to communicate humanly to others, that i could never be her boyfriend because i couldn't show her any love back

So why did she react in such a way? To bully me for it? I didn't have a choice in my upbringing and personality traits.

Well, she was in middle school, I guess children act irrationally at times.

She wasn't satisfied in bullying me herself, the way she did it... she also involved her friends to gang up on me.

It's ridiculous to think back on it, maybe I should've stepped out of my "bubble" and talked to her more.

But then she would've probably been disgusted by my real personality and bullied me as well for it.

Fucked in both situations.

It happened in middle school, so long ago, but I still vividly remember it.

I've experimented with this situation in recent times. For example in a psych ward this woman was friendly to me, but as I talked to her with my true inner thoughts I creeped her out a bit. I tried to "step outside of my bubble", to "break out of my shell", as that middle school girl encouraged me to do so in the past.

Well, psych wards aren't good places to socialize anyways so that's something to consider.

 

[sos]

would you really consider it to be bullying or could it have been teasing but you'd experience it as bullying

bc in some cases it could be teasing

saying or doing stuff to get a reaction out of the other person, to get their attention and many other reasons

as for the hopeless feeling of not being able to be the right person for someone else bc of your 'personality' - if you find the right person, you'll know. why? you'd be able to be yourself

 

[Praestat_Mori]

Being bullied is so awful. I'm sorry you had to go through this.