I’ve decided to tell her the truth

[dinosavr]

I'm really ashamed of my lies and I shouldnt have said them. It just didn't make sense for my recovery which technically ended up being my choice, even if it wasn't an easy choice at all.
But I've decided to confess to my psychotherapist that I have active suicidal thoughts and that I'm actively self harming.
I am aware that it will be extremely difficult to go into details with her, for so long it haven't gone outside my head. Saying such things out loud maybe will make it all easier? I don't know. But I don't really have anything to lose anymore, so..
The only lie that I'll definitely not reveal is that I actually still have sn in my closet. I'll say that I had it but I threw it out but mention that I still have pretty easy access to it.
I wonder what she's going to say. And if she'll tell my roommate about it because they work together. I'd rather not but on the other hand it may feel easier if someone would support me with anything that I might need.

 

[lost_ange2211]

I think that's good. Not just for your therapist to be better at helping you but also for yourself. Learning to be open and honest to at least a few people in your life is a big step forward. Try to continue being truthful about things it's better than keeping up with lots of lies.

 

[lita-lassi]

congratulations on the hard step and i hope it helps you heal honesty can be scary