Venting I've committed.

[merebaisdead]

After years of skirmishing between life and death, I've finally decided to commit to one. This decision hasn't been easy for me, just last year I was in recovery and unfortunately, I found the will to live again. Looking back, my recovery was really just delaying the inevitable. My decision then had set me up for even a harder and steeper decline; which I'm facing the repercussions of now. However, in that recession, I found closure.

I gave it a decent shot, and just knowing that life has given up on me means that I can finally leave without any guilt or regret. Don't get me wrong, I still want to get better, but what can you do when the odds of that happening are second to none? Clutching on that probability has made me feel even worse; in my deepest depression, I sat there, alone in my room at 3 am with nothing but hope to keep me company. And what did that do? Nothing. With that gone, I can finally let go and be at peace.

This has taught me the significance of haste in decision. It's no use alternating between two choices and never committing to one, is it?

I have found my method and perfected it, I'm just waiting for the time to come... <3

 

[chr74]

hi can i ask about your method or would you rather keep it private?

 

[merebaisdead]

hi can i ask about your method or would you rather keep it private?

Partial

 

[FuneralCry]

It must be a relief having a way to exit this world that you feel confident in, for when the time is right, I wish you the best.

 

[chr74]

partial

ah ok that was what i was thinking it might be, its the same i have settled on at least for now due to feeling that SN seems quite hit and miss

 

[merebaisdead]

It must be a relief having a way to exit this world that you feel confident in, for when the time is right, I wish you the best.

I've seen you around a lot back when I was a guest on this site. Replying to almost everyone, wishing them the best.

I genuinely hope you find peace. <3