I've been killing myself for my entire life

[Fractal]

I was diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes at 4 years old and I was never taught to count carbs as a kid and my parents literally let me eat whatever I wanted. Candy, ice cream, pizza, McDonalds, you name it. I'm like one of those kids on the news whose parents refused to get them insulin and ended up rotting away at home,.except I'm the spoiled, enabled, overdosing on insulin version of them. I was on a fixed insulin regiment from when I started injecting my own insulin at 10 years old and started adding in random doses of insulin because I never was taught or bothered to learn to count carbs and/or ask my endocrinologist how to count carbs and how much insulin I should take since my A1Cs were always great because of daily to near daily lows so I just looked great. I literally lied to my endocrinologist for over a decade out of delusion, daily brain damage, and a severe addiction to food. Somehow I managed to graduate highschool and even get a driver's license. I'm literally too stupid to live and I've rotted in my bed for almost my entire life. I've had every bad diabetes symptom and have been suffering from complications even as a kid. Why should someone like me be forced to keep living. My limbs are very numb and in pain and I'm having Alzheimer's symptoms at 27 years old. I have ADD with high impulsivity and wasn't diagnosed until recently. Every second of my life was destroyed by extreme addiction,distraction, and severe social isolation and sickness. I know it's my fault, but maybe if I wasn't enabled as a child and literally eating ice cream at 5 years old on a near daily basis and doing whatever I wanted my brain wouldn't have developed this way. Fuck I just need to die and I've been so deluded for so long. Thanks for listening to my vent.

 

[Deads00n]

Wow Its like youre describing me, this is what exactly i had to go through to too been recently diagnosed with add at 26