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Thank you for this. No I'd leave her a note that I am CTBing. She's aware of this I've been taking about CTBing many times recently. Also it's not like this is a new issue for me, I have been suicidal since mid-teens, I am 33 now. So far I have attempted 3 serious attempts and got saved. But now my dear mother is old and frail with a lot of complications, I've ensured financially she's a in a good place and could support her medical bills on her own. I've taken care of that.
I would try to hold on until she passes. The only reason I'm still here is that I have a mother and a wife and I love them both dearly. I don't want to be here (I'm in chronic, unbearable physical pain) but I can't put them through the anguish of my death---just imagining them finding out and attending the funeral is too much to bear. My wife is my age and in good health, so that means I don't get to CTB anytime soon. :( If your mother is already 80, you may not have to wait that long.
