Venting It’s time

[Clowndollie]

I was feeling a bit better after I arrived in Canada, it was honestly so pathetic of me that I thought I would feel happier here, the feelings of dread and the thoughts about suicide ALWAYS return. I feel so terrible, I thought I would do better in another country. When I get back home I'm going to ctb. I've genuinely tried but it's too hard. I'm too tired. Life is so confusing, there's so many things that a human being has to do and I can't even take care of myself. I gained weight, I can't maintain friendships and they feel one sided, I'm so lonely, I can't work, I can't go to school, I have mental issues… it hurts so bad. I just want to have a loving relationship, have nice friends and actually feel like I can do things without feeling too tired after. I can't wait for that anymore, I've done that and I've tried. I'm done