I have decided that my method will be N and have already ordered from D. While that part was easy the amount of planning required to have my affairs in order is immense!
Here is everything I have thought of so far. Perhaps you can spot if I have missed anything?
- Step by step guide on what to do immediately after discovering my corpse.
- Phone number of two nearest police stations.
- Note detailing my method to speed up the coroners investigation.
- Government agencies to register my death at.
- Including which documents they will need.
- New will drafted listing my wife as first beneficiary and my brother as second.
- All debts paid off.
- List of investments and bank accounts.
- Location of birth certificate and citizenship.
Still to do
- Create "Future" emails that will be sent to my wife after 3 months, 6 months, and 1 year.
- Arrange a friend to handle any IT related work.
- Passwords exported to an excel file.
- Any record of SS or talks with D will be removed.
Do you think the future emails are a good idea? I'm worried that sudden emails from a dead person can be extremely distressing.
I just wanna send empathy. Also to say also holy fuck, because wow you plan shit the way I do; extensive research, lists, and letter writing. Then having other folks check for holes just in case.
The empathy is because I know how hard it is for me to just...let things go, and so I plot and plan and it's soothing sometimes so I know what's going on, but also can be super exhausting. Maybe it's the same for you; a sense of control and responsibility... A way to manage...but also tiring.
I wish you luck.
For feedback regarding the letters: Obviously you know your wife better than I do, but I would say for me, if I had a spouse die and then suddenly had them sending me letters.... I mean. It's tricky.
E.g. in the future I may have finally gotten to some form of emotional stability and then suddenly a letter from the person I'm grieving?
I'd say giving her advanced notice would be a good call. Like a "hey I scheduled some emails for some points in time for the next year or two". Because realistically she's going to have to get used to you not existing and the longer you prolong that the longer her grieving will be and the more complicated. But on the other hand if she loves you she will probably want to hear from you regardless, even if it means the grieving process is a bit more complicated and lasts longer. So yeah, I say, decide whatever it's up to you. But I think giving her a heads up that she's going to get those emails would be really beneficial so she doesn't freak out, or get more hurt, or think it's a bad joke or someone trying to scam her.
hopefully that makes sense, and hopefully you will be able to rest once you ctb.
