I'm posting this in response to the current shitshow surrounding the YouTube video posted by @Jonels. (Former member who criticised the site over the suicide of @SpentStardust.)
I'm SO tired of people saying that sites like this are the problem. It's people's lives that are the fucking problem! People don't just stumble onto sites like this.
I'm not saying there aren't things we should consider and maybe do better. (Personally- I do feel like minors ought to be kept away from sites like this- although- that's a wider internet problem- not just here. They shouldn't be exposed to other stuff either.)
Still- it's this impression I get that 'normies' seem to think sites like this 'corrupt' people. That we're some kind of death cult, enticing minors in to kill themselves. I'd argue that- by the time people find their way here- they're already in a bad way. I've NEVER seen any coercion here. Quite often- it's the opposite- people will encourage others towards recovery if it looks at all possible.
I suppose what really intrigues me is WHY @SpentStardust CTB and how this compares to @Jonels life. I have to point out- I'm entirely speculating here and honestly- I'm projecting a lot.
@SpentStardust was creative and from a musical background. I believe they had this in common with @Jonels. We know they were in communication at one point. I assume this is partly why @Jonels has taken such a particular interest in this one individual. I vaguely recall @Jonels saying that his parents were mental healthcare professionals (which might account for his deep faith in the industry.) I know I shouldn't do this but I suppose I'm comparing what I imagine their two lives to be.
I am from a creative background. My work means the world to me. I'm wondering if @SpentStardust was the same. I'm wondering how much support he got. It's SO hard to be creative in this world. I suspect @SpentStardust reached out to @Jonels initially in an attempt to help his career. I would love to know how the interaction went... Did he ask him for help? What was his response?
I could be way off here- in which case- I would humbly apologise but I wonder if @Jonels has more financial and general support from his parents than @SpentStardust did. I think- if you are doing well in life- it can be very hard to recognise just HOW much other people have to struggle.
I just really wish- rather than pointing the finger at us- people like @Jonels would question WHY @SpentStardust wanted to kill themselves in the first place. If their problem was situational- how likely was it to improve? If it was mental health- what was available to them? Had they even tried it? They surely must have known help was available. COULD anyone here have realistically talked them out of doing it? They had had ideation for several years by the sounds of it and they already seemed pretty set on their method before coming on here.
Like I say though- I don't know what @SpentStardust 's motives were. I don't suppose anyone else does know?
I guess it just irritates me that people seem to want to turn this place into the very thing we came here to avoid: 'Why do you want to CTB? Oh- I see- Well, this time will pass, things will get better. Have you tried therapy, or drugs or a walk in nature?'
I think I asked @Jonels to try and talk to some of us- to see how entrenched some of our thinking is. Honestly, I wish he had. I wish he'd see that many people here simply don't want to be helped. It's really insulting to assume we can't make rational appraisals of our own lives. That we can't make assessments on whether things can realistically improve and whether we are even willing to undertake the steps needed to make things better. Not to say everyone is beyond help but I think most people DO know themselves whether recovery is an option.
I'm SO tired of people saying that sites like this are the problem. It's people's lives that are the fucking problem! People don't just stumble onto sites like this.
I'm not saying there aren't things we should consider and maybe do better. (Personally- I do feel like minors ought to be kept away from sites like this- although- that's a wider internet problem- not just here. They shouldn't be exposed to other stuff either.)
Still- it's this impression I get that 'normies' seem to think sites like this 'corrupt' people. That we're some kind of death cult, enticing minors in to kill themselves. I'd argue that- by the time people find their way here- they're already in a bad way. I've NEVER seen any coercion here. Quite often- it's the opposite- people will encourage others towards recovery if it looks at all possible.
I suppose what really intrigues me is WHY @SpentStardust CTB and how this compares to @Jonels life. I have to point out- I'm entirely speculating here and honestly- I'm projecting a lot.
@SpentStardust was creative and from a musical background. I believe they had this in common with @Jonels. We know they were in communication at one point. I assume this is partly why @Jonels has taken such a particular interest in this one individual. I vaguely recall @Jonels saying that his parents were mental healthcare professionals (which might account for his deep faith in the industry.) I know I shouldn't do this but I suppose I'm comparing what I imagine their two lives to be.
I am from a creative background. My work means the world to me. I'm wondering if @SpentStardust was the same. I'm wondering how much support he got. It's SO hard to be creative in this world. I suspect @SpentStardust reached out to @Jonels initially in an attempt to help his career. I would love to know how the interaction went... Did he ask him for help? What was his response?
I could be way off here- in which case- I would humbly apologise but I wonder if @Jonels has more financial and general support from his parents than @SpentStardust did. I think- if you are doing well in life- it can be very hard to recognise just HOW much other people have to struggle.
I just really wish- rather than pointing the finger at us- people like @Jonels would question WHY @SpentStardust wanted to kill themselves in the first place. If their problem was situational- how likely was it to improve? If it was mental health- what was available to them? Had they even tried it? They surely must have known help was available. COULD anyone here have realistically talked them out of doing it? They had had ideation for several years by the sounds of it and they already seemed pretty set on their method before coming on here.
Like I say though- I don't know what @SpentStardust 's motives were. I don't suppose anyone else does know?
I guess it just irritates me that people seem to want to turn this place into the very thing we came here to avoid: 'Why do you want to CTB? Oh- I see- Well, this time will pass, things will get better. Have you tried therapy, or drugs or a walk in nature?'
I think I asked @Jonels to try and talk to some of us- to see how entrenched some of our thinking is. Honestly, I wish he had. I wish he'd see that many people here simply don't want to be helped. It's really insulting to assume we can't make rational appraisals of our own lives. That we can't make assessments on whether things can realistically improve and whether we are even willing to undertake the steps needed to make things better. Not to say everyone is beyond help but I think most people DO know themselves whether recovery is an option.
