Venting It's official... I'm messing up so much with drug replases that I have no way ou

[KillingPain267]

My family keeps finding me in a drunken stupor, dunk my remaining alcohol, and then I secretly have to take benzos to cope with withdrawals or just to sleep. And my family condemns me, yet it's the only coping mechanism. I don't want them to find me again drinking because it leads to more and more freedom-loss, making proper suicide later harder. I think I have no choice but to finally take the plunge and actually do the damn deed and get it over with. Simply abstaining from booze is no option because my mind eventually always goes there to cope. Constant war in my head. It's no way to live. Addiction coaches don't don't help. All they do is called narcissists for using and that life is so much better sober (without a true coping meachinsm???). I'm so lost.as someone to pray for me. I'm done.

 

[SchrodingerIsDed]

Damn man. That's a heavy burden. Alcohol AND benzos? That's a brutal combination. Constant war in your head. I get that brother. Constant.

I don't believe, but I'll be praying for you anyway.

 

[KillingPain267]

Damn man. That's a heavy burden. Alcohol AND benzos? That's a brutal combination. Constant war in your head. I get that brother. Constant.

I don't believe, but I'll be praying for you anyway.

I use benzos only sparingly, when I come out of an alcohol bender, just to relieve withdrawals. My main vice is alcohol, and opioids, but I'm clean from opioids for a year now. The war I refer to is constant psychological cravings with drink and/take opioids and make sure my family don't find me in a stupor and condemn me. The war is so brutal that I wanna give up entirely.