Venting It's official. I'm in the early stages of schizophrenia.

[StolenLife]

So it is confirmed. Yesterday I had an intense episode of paranoia which included me being a 100% sure that certain things are real and that there is a conspiracy against me. It was one of the worst days of my life. I was hyperventilating and afraid to leave the house. Today I've discussed it with my psychiatrist and we came to a conclusion that it was a psychotic episode and that I might have had auditory hallucinations. So much for my future hopes and dreams of becoming a doctor and falling in love. I knew it was in the family tree but I still hoped that my mind will be strong enough to fight it. I guess not. I don't want to live with this illness as I know what it does to people around the person. Could I be approved for euthanasia in some countries maybe? I can only see pain in the future yet I made a promise to my therapist and my psychiatrist that I won't hurt myself. My abusers will be thrilled if they hear it.

 

[FuneralCry]

That sounds really horrible what you are going through and of course it's very much understandable just wanting to be free from everything, I hate how euthaniasia isn't legalised in all countries as it really should be. But anyway I wish you the best.

 

[Sweet Tart]

I'm sorry, this is a lot to adjust to, particularly as it sounds like you already have some negative associations/experiences with schizophrenia. Fwiw, I've known people with this diagnosis who were able to have careers, relationships, independence, and I've known others who were less high functioning, but there really is a range. Even so, it's ofc a lot, and I'm really sorry it led you to have such a rough day yesterday.

 

[Unending]

I'm not sure if many/any countries accept clients from abroad but I'm no expert by any means. I've wondered this myself but in the times when I want to know the most, I'm a bit slow to make the search. Anyway, my condolences. I'm really sorry you received the schizophrenia diagnosis. Like Sweet Tart said, you totally could have a chance of being able to deal with the symptoms well enough to live a fulfilling life. I guess it just takes time to get the treatment plan in order and start assessing the situation.

 

[forever dreaming]

Whatever you do don't take any APs they will lobotomize you

 

[betternever2havbeen]

@StolenLife It must be incredibly scary. It's in my family tree too-my brother has it. I can't say he's doing well right now but he has had very long periods without any symptoms, like 10 years between psychotic episodes, so although obviously this is a massive shock for you, it doesn't necessarily mean you won't have many years where you are not affected by it. Don't give up your dreams for the future yet until you find out for sure what's going on and how you're going to be affected long-term.

@forever dreaming what's the alternative though? Genuinely asking, I know people don't wanna take their meds, but do they help and what else can you do to control your symptoms if you're not taking APs?