HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
Please try and not be so hard on yourself, as I, like everyone, has messed up, it is called life. There are always positive and negative aspects to everything always, however the good now and down the road makes watching a beautiful sun rise and/or sun set so wonderful.
One can tell by your post, just how kind and caring of a soul you are, it speaks volumes about you, all so positive and wonderful.
We are a huge family here and I for one love having you as a great friend and knowing that I have such heart felted people like YOU here, thank you so much for that aspect.
Again, HAPPY BIRTHDAY and lots of huge hugs, love and the abundant knowledge that you RALLY make a difference for the good in this world.
Walter