I just want to be free…….many have turned against me! It's hard to live life when others have walked away. God please just get me out of here.
-
⚠️ UK Access Block Notice: Beginning July 1, 2025, this site will no longer be accessible from the United Kingdom. This is a voluntary decision made by the site's administrators. We were not forced or ordered to implement this block. If you're located in the UK, we recommend using a VPN to maintain access.
FuneralCry
Just wanting some peace
- Sep 24, 2020
- 43,682
I really understand, I also just wish to be gone, all I want is to never suffer again, I hope you find peace from suffering.
A buildup of disappointments here as well. Many people are needlessly cruel - or cruel for the sake of it.
Currently trying to find strength to live for the ones who deserve it and for myself too. Life is yours and you shouldn't give it up because *ssholes behave as such. There are good people out there. I wish it was easier to spot them and find them.
If you have the time, check this e-book: https://qprinstitute.com/pdfs/Forever_Decision.pdf
It could help see things differently.
Best wishes
Thank you! I really don't know what to do at this point. I just want out. I've missed out on so much in life. When I'm able to message can I message you?
You are welcome! Of course. Feel free to message me when you can.
To me, both CTB and deciding to live seem equally costly psychologically. In my opinion, the difference is that in this algebra of life and death, death ends in 0 and there's no way back - so you end up missing on the good and the bad stuff life had for you. On the life side of the equation, there is some margin for variability over time, so that the net result could still be positive in the future, no matter how bad things are or seem to be now. Who knows... Just trying to reason through.
We are all (at-least most of us) are so tired in this purgatory between life and death, constant rumination is draining, sleep is a distraction, while going to sleep I pray i die and hate that i have to wake up and deal with this again.
Dear, there are no answers unfortunately, I see people here i see suffering for years... we CTB is the way but its also not easy with SI and other complicationsI feel the same way. What do we do to make it stop?
I feel the same. I'm just trapped. Too chicken to try to CTB again but don't have a will to live anymore. It's awful.
Unfortunately, I haven't found a magic formula. I've found ways to simply bear it, like when you take painkillers for back pain so that you are able to keep working.I feel the same way. What do we do to make it stop?
Later I will go and have an ice-cream at the park, buy a decaffeinated coffee and sit on a bench watching the birds. I know this will calm me and allow me to reflect. Then, I know when I get back home, I will be able to do some reading and learn something new (amateur coder here, so learning some .NET MAUI basics). This will help a little, because then I know my day wouldn't have been totally wasted. I listen to some music that numbs the pain for a while. I try to pray at least once per day and I am not mad at our Creator, because I know my troubles come from how society works and how people exclude you and mistreat you when they, for some arbitrary reason, don't like you. I know I made mistakes in the past. And I know nobody promised me it would be easy.
I applied for some jobs, so I got to stick around and see the outcome, although I have no enthusiasm. But that new job, whenever it comes, will possibly distract me from negative thoughts for a good part of the day, I hope.
So you see, it's as if I am giving myself carrots that help me carry on, hoping for those better dayz.
I wish I could just know the answer. It isn't 42 for sure. It is much more complicated than that.
Last edited:
