Venting It’s getting hard to hang on until my ctb date

[cicadafriend]

It's insane that I'm still here, granted I did try to ctb in May with no luck. Nobody reaches out or makes small talk with me anymore, so luckily it's like I'm already dead. I'm getting super desperate. Please someone tell me when this can be over… I want sn so bad but can't find a source, maybe because I'm fairly new to SS or stupid and not resourceful. I might actually cry tears of relief when I get my hands on some.

 

[im already reading]

why are you going to ctb?

 

[cicadafriend]

why are you going to ctb?

immense sexual trauma. In the midst of being treated for trauma and depression i got assaulted again by someone i really loved a few months ago. I'm being encouraged to file a report with my university but i would (pun intended) rather die

 

[im already reading]

immense sexual trauma. In the midst of being treated for trauma and depression i got assaulted again by someone i really loved a few months ago. I'm being encouraged to file a report with my university but i would (pun intended) rather die

thats horrible
all i can say is giving up is the worst thing you can do, hopefully you can do something to make life better
maybe get a pet if you dont already have one? preferably a dog, but if your living on campus then thats out of the picture
try playing video games and adding people and talking to them to see if that works
i think improvement and social interaction is the only thing that could help you apart from winning the lottery
maybe take up a hobby to distract you from everything else or start reading more books/watching movies
i know im just a random person and everything i say means nothing but i would legitimately be sad if you died.
i dont even know you we've barely even talked but if the next day it turns out you decieded to ctb i would just sit on my bed for a few seconds before crying into my pillow
if you want to talk can you add me on discord? if you have discord, if not then never mind
all the best
14`C

 

[pinkribbonscars]

immense sexual trauma. In the midst of being treated for trauma and depression i got assaulted again by someone i really loved a few months ago. I'm being encouraged to file a report with my university but i would (pun intended) rather die

I am so sorry that happened. I refused to report an abusive ex because I still wanted to be with them. I'm pathetic lol

I was able to get over the trauma and I cut all ties with that person. I made peace. Still depressed though. I hope you find peace

 

[90starve]

It's insane that I'm still here, granted I did try to ctb in May with no luck. Nobody reaches out or makes small talk with me anymore, so luckily it's like I'm already dead. I'm getting super desperate. Please someone tell me when this can be over… I want sn so bad but can't find a source, maybe because I'm fairly new to SS or stupid and not resourceful. I might actually cry tears of relief when I get my hands on some.

im sorry that you feel this way - SA is a horrific experience. have you considered other methods if you can't access SN?

 

[FuneralCry]

It's just so disgusting to me how humans create so much harm in this hellish reality, I hope that you eventually find freedom from the suffering as it must be so horrible feeling trapped in that situation.

 

[cicadafriend]

im sorry that you feel this way - SA is a horrific experience. have you considered other methods if you can't access SN?

I'm still considering sources. I just want something peaceful