Venting It's fine to risk injury or death for our jobs. But risking death by suicide for our own reasons? Psych ward.

[StrugglingSienna]

I called out of work today at my construction job because my stupid brain did not let me get a single minute of sleep last night. I do not feel comfortable getting up on a 12 foot ladder where I spend most of the work day under these conditions. Falling from that height can kill you, and it would not be the peaceful death I desire. I thankfully have a pretty chill foreman who will not give a single fuck.

But when I texted my dad that I was missing work, he texts me back asking how much work I have missed (not much), and that he wants me to be safe but also not lose my job. It did feel a little like being pressured to go to work anyways despite my condition. I'm not mad at my dad, honestly, I'm just pissed at our society that puts these ideals into us, that we should be totally fine with casually risking our lives going into work, and often punishes us if we don't if we're not unionized or we don't have good bosses. All the while the messaging tends to be to stay home if we need, even though they don't actually mean that.

But if I was truthful to my family about my suicidal ideation, and the fact that I have SN ready to go whenever I'm ready, risking my life for my own reasons instead of so I can make someone else more money, I would get thrown in a psych ward for who knows how long. Which, ironically, would be much more likely to cause me to lose my job than calling out once a month because my insomnia sometimes strikes me hard.

I'm curious to hear other people's stories about how they risked their lives for their job, or didn't and what kind of consequences you faced for it.

 

[musingsofaghost]

Funnily enough, I was having this exact thought today. :") I really sympathise with you. Putting your blood, sweat and tears into your job to the point of risking a painful death makes you a diligent worker. Choosing to CTB out of your own means, peacefully, makes you insane. Looove how the world thinks.

I work in a pharmacy. A big, multi-billion dollar company. The store where I'm located is infamous for being especially dangerous as there is a lot of criminals in the area. I barely make above minimum wage, and yet a few days ago I had to throw myself in front of a man who was double my size (I am 5'2. lmao.) because he was about to run off with about $300ish worth of goods. I'm very fortunate that our security guard came back in time, as the guy was armed with a a knife he took from the grocery store next door. I crave for death, but getting stabbed in my uniform is not the way I want to go, thank you very much. What I find stupid is that at the time I wasn't thinking about any of that, though. I was only thinking about how hard my manager would be drilling on me if I didn't attempt to stop the guy. No time at all for me to fear the armed guy in front of my face.

My mind cannot stop wandering about how that could've gone sideways quick. And of course, I didn't get called stupid for risking death in that situation, like I 100% would've if I injured myself out of my own means…