I got sent to more mental hospitals, and got traumatized even more. I was physically abused in all of them, and sexually abused in 3 of them. I don't even feel like I have the energy to say what I want to say anymore, I just want to set myself free. I had my arm broken, anti-psychotics were unnecessarily forced on me which almost gave me Parkinson's, I was forced to stay for over 8 months total with no trial or hearing.
I lost sight of my original plan, and like idk man. Talking about things used to help, but this experience has made me lose that as a way of expressing myself. So much for the first ammendment...
I don't like what I'm becoming: irresponsible, immature, undiplomatic.
While I've been thinking about suicide, I always thought about alternative options. Escaping this world maybe on a space ship, that way the horrible world can exist, and so can I but I just don't have to be apart of it. I started to ponder about my ultimate goal in life, even when escaping the Earth. I came to the conclusion that I wouldn't want anyone leaving the Earth because of how horrible everyone here is, and my only exception was me--but I look back at myself, and I realize that I came from this world too, and I'm fearful that it might have corrupted me too. And I don't want to spread the infection.
So honestly, I'm considering it again. Suicide.
I lost sight of my original plan, and like idk man. Talking about things used to help, but this experience has made me lose that as a way of expressing myself. So much for the first ammendment...
I don't like what I'm becoming: irresponsible, immature, undiplomatic.
While I've been thinking about suicide, I always thought about alternative options. Escaping this world maybe on a space ship, that way the horrible world can exist, and so can I but I just don't have to be apart of it. I started to ponder about my ultimate goal in life, even when escaping the Earth. I came to the conclusion that I wouldn't want anyone leaving the Earth because of how horrible everyone here is, and my only exception was me--but I look back at myself, and I realize that I came from this world too, and I'm fearful that it might have corrupted me too. And I don't want to spread the infection.
So honestly, I'm considering it again. Suicide.
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