Story It's been months

[Gray Wounds]

I'm still alive but far from recovering. And I have stayed low out of here so that no one will find this site out and blame it for what I'm suffering through.


So, these past three months, I've been clean af and looks so normal. I am trying to so that I could not raise any suspicion from useless humans. But I really, really missed this site and everyone I know here. I do not know if they are still alive but if you guys are, then hi!

The attempts that I have made have been quite severe that I couldn't even work my left arm for months. At my last attempt, I was discovered by someone and I was threatened to be at a psychiatric clinic or something which I do not want or like. That's why I am lying low. But the truth is that I do not know what's happening to me... there is no me anymore. My mind won. And I have been so much of a catatonic schizo (as my counselor psychologist suggests). Right now, I'm just waiting for the 'kick' again and I'll surely do hanging.

 

[NotWorthLiving]

Oh Gray Wounds. I'm sorry for your experiences. If you need us while you're still around, we're here for you...hope everything gets a little better.

Welcome back though. Good to see you.

 

[JazzyWolfWhistle]

Does "there's no me anymore" mean you've been drowned by an ocean of thoughts in your head and can't see yourself anymore? Are you infected by thoughts that are controlling you from the outside? Are you waiting for a depression foot to land on your mental backside and so you kick you out of your sedentary complacency and into suicidal action?

 

[Gray Wounds]

Than

Oh Gray Wounds. I'm sorry for your experiences. If you need us while you're still around, we're here for you...hope everything gets a little better.

Welcome back though. Good to see you.

Thank you! Good to see all of you too on this site. There are many names that are so unknown to me though.

 

[Gray Wounds]

Does "there's no me anymore" mean you've been drowned by an ocean of thoughts in your head and can't see yourself anymore? Are you infected by thoughts that are controlling you from the outside? Are you waiting for a depression foot to land on your mental backside and so you kick you out of your sedentary complacency and into suicidal action?

You're probably quite new here so, I'll give you a little backstory about me. I've been "having" delusions that are too realistic to be true back then. And I've known that somehow, the mind or my mind will win because it is threatening me that it will take over when I do not succeed in my attempt. I did not succeed and it kept its promise. Now I'm only a segment within this tower I'm in.

Not depression foot, no. But it's up to the Highest (my mind) to decide whether it's time to eliminate me again or just torture me. Right now, it's up for the torture part only.

 

[Jodes]

You're probably quite new here so, I'll give you a little backstory about me. I've been "having" delusions that are too realistic to be true back then. And I've known that somehow, the mind or my mind will win because it is threatening me that it will take over when I do not succeed in my attempt. I did not succeed and it kept its promise. Now I'm only a segment within this tower I'm in.

Not depression foot, no. But it's up to the Highest (my mind) to decide whether it's time to eliminate me again or just torture me. Right now, it's up for the torture part only.

Welcome back (I'm new). I'm glad you find some respite here. Thanks for sharing to new and old. I hope to see you about

 

[Justanotherconsumer]

There is a high turnover here, many from being banned or self banning, arguments in the shout-box ect., people move on to recover, some simply disappear, some ctb. It reminds me of being in the military every 2 months there is a new group.

 

[Roph]

Welcome back... There's no need to rush. Bide your time and finish your planning. I'm sorry that you're suffering.