I've always been alone until the last couple months. I should've known it would just gets worse, but for that short period of my life I had hope. Now I don't. I have a significant other who talks shit about me constantly, only to beg me to stay with him. So many lies...I thought I could trust people again but I can't. Every little action is scrutinized and distorted out of malicious intent...people have started to trigger me by bringing up my trauma and making fun of me. People turn on you so fast without a reason...what's the point? No one cares about me. No one will remember me. I can't do anything right. How can people claim to love me and then be so hateful at the same time? I'm tired of forgiving and trying to give myself more reasons to live when I have none. They convince me to stay only to inflict more pain. I need someone to talk to...someone to relate to before I actually go through with it.
I'm so sorry for your situation. That's very disheartening to be surrounded by people who are toxic and detrimental to your mental health. I can empathize with you on that. Is there any way you can get out of that situation? I understand how it feels to have no one. Do you have anyone in your life, outside of your current geographic location that you can go to or reach out to? Make sure that, before you make such a decision, you've weighed ALL of your options. You may have some that are available to you that may not be readily apparent. Just trying to offer some sound advice... if I may. Good luck, whatever path you choose to take.
I already deleted all forms of social media because of how detrimental it has been to my mental health, but now all I have is my significant other and his friends...and one of them even said they wanted to ruin my life and relationship...all because in some twisted way he wants to get with me? My significant other doesn't confront him about it because he's scared of him...so he would rather let him spread all of this misinformation if it meant that he would look better in everyone's eyes. I wish to get out of that situation but I love him more than life itself, it's so hard to live by myself again when I was just as miserable...maybe I've been trying to cling onto life but it isn't worth it, no matter how many people claim to care about you. I wish he didn't hate me so much when all I've done is dedicate my life to him, despite how he treats me.
Wow. I'm sorry. Well, all I can do is hope the best for you (which is nothing at all). But, I do know how difficult it can be to leave someone you love, even if they're toxic. I do hope things turn in your favor.
Thank you, I really appreciate it more than you know.
FuneralCry
Just wanting some peace
- Sep 24, 2020
- 38,875
It's true that you cannot trust people in this cruel world and that is undeniable, it's awful how humans just create more suffering but sadly it's just the reality, to me it's certainly better to be alone but anyway I wish you the best. The way that I see it, any "hope" in this world only exists just to be taken away and lead to more torment, hope is a delusion.
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I felt that. Each time you try to to have a new beginning, the same thing happens. Over and over and over... I've tried again. It always amounts to nothing. I understand your pain and I'm sorry you have to go through it.
pickajack
Student
- Jul 17, 2020
- 115
Sorry @neverthefirstoption. I can relate to the shittiness of thinking things are getting better only to crash into the same crappy cycle. Sending some encouragement your way.
A couple months ago I wouldn't have agreed with this sentiment, but now it's just an undeniable fact of life. Is it worth living through? I don't think so anymore. Hope is a delusion but I do not wish this pain on another human being nonetheless. I believe that sometimes, some of us just aren't meant to live in such a cruel state, but it's inevitable.
Life is just composed of these cycles, we get to decide whether they are worth living through or not. Thank you.
It comes to a point that maybe it just isn't worth it anymore...
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