Venting It's been a year today

[sisyphean-nightmare]

A year since my therapist made me break out in iatrogenic PTSD. Someone who specialized in trauma, at that. Someone I went to see - paid out of pocket despite being on benefits - to help me heal from years and years of abuse by the public mental health services. A year of pure hell followed. I got physically ill several times, became agoraphobic and confined to my home, most of my friends fucked off - either slipped away because I was too tormented to conversate, some of them ghosted me and just disappeared, one of my best friends started competing with me (the absolute worst instance would be when he randomly said "you know that childlike light that you had and lost after therapy? I think I'm gaining that") and then left when I reacted because "I need peace and quiet right now and there isn't enough time to talk later" (he was one of the few people I told about my plans to CTB). My apartment used to be clean and quiet on the mind, now it's a disgusting mess. My clothes don't fit anymore because I relapsed into my eating disorder and lost a lot of weight. I missed my grandfathers funeral and I'm going to miss my nephew being born.

A year ago I made my first serious suicide attempt. It wasn't very planned, nor very intelligent. I tried to OD on my anxiolytics, which likely wouldn't have worked any way but I was desperate. SI kicked in, I called an ambulance. Got to drink activated charcoal, took a couple of blood tests and then ran away from the emergency room because I was afraid of being involuntary admitted. I wish I had died. When you die of suicide in my country, they perform a psychiatric autopsy to try to get to the source of what led to the suicide. They would have been able to connect it to my therapist, she would have gotten in trouble with the authorities. Now I'll die without anyone knowing, with her still making several hundred thousands a year, still being allowed to practice despite having ruined a life.

 

[DeIetedUser4739]

Psychiatry destroyed me too, 7.5 months later and I haven't gotten any better whilst they keep ordering people to get injected with their poisonous Antipsychotics.

 

[sisyphean-nightmare]

Psychiatry destroyed me too, 7.5 months later and I haven't gotten any better whilst they keep ordering people to get injected with their poisonous Antipsychotics.

I'm truly very sorry to hear. It's appalling that they get to continue, when their methods have been proven to be (at best) pseudoscientific and (at worst) dangerous.

 

[DeIetedUser4739]

The worst thing is so many people have killed themselves after being injected with Antipsychotics especially Invega Sustenna, that's the reason I found this forum was because a lady that was prescribed it for depression killed herself and sent me the link to the SN guide on this site.

She was 1.5 years off the injections and not any better so I know it won't get better for me, I found another user on here who hasn't been active for like a year now saying they were killing themselves because of damage from invega plus a few more people on Reddit that are now inactive.

 

[FuneralCry]

That sounds so dreadful and horrible what you go through, I find it extremely cruel and hellish how people suffer in this existence all through no fault of their own. But anyway best wishes, I'm sorry you've had to suffer so much.

 

[Buh-bye!]

A year since my therapist made me break out in iatrogenic PTSD. Someone who specialized in trauma, at that. Someone I went to see - paid out of pocket despite being on benefits - to help me heal from years and years of abuse by the public mental health services. A year of pure hell followed. I got physically ill several times, became agoraphobic and confined to my home, most of my friends fucked off - either slipped away because I was too tormented to conversate, some of them ghosted me and just disappeared, one of my best friends started competing with me (the absolute worst instance would be when he randomly said "you know that childlike light that you had and lost after therapy? I think I'm gaining that") and then left when I reacted because "I need peace and quiet right now and there isn't enough time to talk later" (he was one of the few people I told about my plans to CTB). My apartment used to be clean and quiet on the mind, now it's a disgusting mess. My clothes don't fit anymore because I relapsed into my eating disorder and lost a lot of weight. I missed my grandfathers funeral and I'm going to miss my nephew being born.

A year ago I made my first serious suicide attempt. It wasn't very planned, nor very intelligent. I tried to OD on my anxiolytics, which likely wouldn't have worked any way but I was desperate. SI kicked in, I called an ambulance. Got to drink activated charcoal, took a couple of blood tests and then ran away from the emergency room because I was afraid of being involuntary admitted. I wish I had died. When you die of suicide in my country, they perform a psychiatric autopsy to try to get to the source of what led to the suicide. They would have been able to connect it to my therapist, she would have gotten in trouble with the authorities. Now I'll die without anyone knowing, with her still making several hundred thousands a year, still being allowed to practice despite having ruined a life.

i wish all the luck to you ahead mate, for everything