Venting It's been a while since I've been this deppressed or posted here.

[Covalite]

So I threw away my SN due to when i moved I thought things would get better. For a while it did get better. But now I feel that despite me working my ass off to get my life together, that none of my goals will ever be achieved. The move definitely improved my quality of lofe but I still have so many barriers to ever feeling like i have done something that i consider impactful in my life. I really wish i didnt throw away my SN bottle cuase I definitely would use it at this point. Im just tired of my repetitive life and im tired of every time i feel i make proggress towards one of my goals i have 3 new thungs pop up reversing me to square one. I'm most likely gonna start posting frequently again, and try to work up to courage to CTB. I hope who ever reads this has a better day than mine, and if not they can find comfort in what ever they need to do whether try at recovery or CTB.

 

[LaVieEnRose]

I'm sorry your efforts to create a better life haven't borne the fruit you were hoping. What are your goals and what do you think still stands in the way?

 

[Covalite]

I'm sorry your efforts to create a better life haven't borne the fruit you were hoping. What are your goals and what do you think still stands in the way?

Getting a job and my GED are my semi short term goals. My main obstacles is my anxiety that make it so i can barely function in public when im with someone i know (i get nonstop panic attacks if im alone in public), my ptsd which makes it even harder to function, and also my lack of motivation due to when ever i seem to be making progress, my luck puts me back to square one (a recent example is me starting my GED only to miss my first class due to technical bugs tho im starting again tomorrow). Also there are a lot more things but I really dont feel like sharing them today, I feel like venting to others only makes me feel worse.

 

[LaVieEnRose]

Getting a job and my GED are my semi short term goals. My main obstacles is my anxiety that make it so i can barely function in public when im with someone i know (i get nonstop panic attacks if im alone in public), my ptsd which makes it even harder to function, and also my lack of motivation due to when ever i seem to be making progress, my luck puts me back to square one (a recent example is me starting my GED only to miss my first class due to technical bugs tho im starting again tomorrow). Also there are a lot more things but I really dont feel like sharing them today, I feel like venting to others only makes me feel worse.

Well, I think those are definitely very achievable goals to have.

 

[Covalite]

Well, I think those are definitely very achievable goals to have.

They are, but my long term goals probably not so much. College, working with super computer hardware, and getting my anxiety under control seem really out of reach, especially the last one.

 

[LaVieEnRose]

They are, but my long term goals probably not so much. College, working with super computer hardware, and getting my anxiety under control seem really out of reach, especially the last one.

One domino has to fall before the next one does.