I can stand my unbearable suffering. I love having a good dreamless sleep. The problem is when im lucky to have one that I wake up. There is no explanation and diagnosis for my suffering. I just suffer for no reason. I cant stand existence. It is not depression. It feels like physical pain but mental. I feel like a hypochondriac. Medically I have schizophrenia and big anxiety but that is not the problem. I am in a situation when drugs would help me but I cant get my hands on drugs opiods and benzos. Too dumb to get it from darkweb and scared of jail. I am scared my time is coming and dont like this time waiting for death and having to go through the process. I will do charcoal method. Wish me luck to not end up as a vegetable. It is so much trouble getting it done. Reading guides to do it right. I hope it will be easy and I will feel content during dying. I wish to never be born. There is more I would like to say but my mind is dull. Consider this as a relief to share in community I feel I fit in. I am jealous of people who made it to the other side.
FuneralCry
Just wanting some peace
- Sep 24, 2020
- 45,829
I really understand finding it so unbearable and torturous to exist, I hope you find freedom from suffering, I wish you the best.
