watashiwastar
final smile
- Aug 20, 2024
- 19
Why can't you move on?
Why did your hormones never stop?
Why did you never stop cutting yourself?
Why did you never stop searching for sharp objects?
Why did you never stop cataloging poisons?
Why did you never stop looking out the balcony, in hopes of the ground being your escape?
Why was it a phase for everyone else, but not for you?
7 years? And counting?
I feel lonely. I don't want to be alone with these feelings. And I don't want anyone to feel the same way I do either. I just want to feel the same way everyone around me does.
Happy. Sad sometimes, but the ordinary kind of sad. Not this.
Now everyone is doing better than you. Catch up.
I can't.
I'm stuck.
Why am I stuck?
The medicine makes me functional.
But you all are more than functional. You are happy, fulfilled, satisfied. You want to keep going. You don't have suicide on the back burner.
How I wish to be normal like everyone else.
Why did your hormones never stop?
Why did you never stop cutting yourself?
Why did you never stop searching for sharp objects?
Why did you never stop cataloging poisons?
Why did you never stop looking out the balcony, in hopes of the ground being your escape?
Why was it a phase for everyone else, but not for you?
7 years? And counting?
I feel lonely. I don't want to be alone with these feelings. And I don't want anyone to feel the same way I do either. I just want to feel the same way everyone around me does.
Happy. Sad sometimes, but the ordinary kind of sad. Not this.
Now everyone is doing better than you. Catch up.
I can't.
I'm stuck.
Why am I stuck?
The medicine makes me functional.
But you all are more than functional. You are happy, fulfilled, satisfied. You want to keep going. You don't have suicide on the back burner.
How I wish to be normal like everyone else.
