Daxter_87
If my name is crossed out, hopefully I'm dead.
- May 28, 2023
- 400
Just like with all other activities – such as chores –, it takes me an insane amount of time to post on this forum – whether it's my own thread or a reply to other people's threads. I'm so fucking obsessive and perfectionist that there's just no room for errors. I want everything to be right; every fucking comma, every fucking grammar rule must be followed exactly as officially established. I always get stuck forever on the most ridiculously trivial details, such as wondering whether I should put a comma, a semicolon, or a period between two sentences.
On top of all this, it doesn't help either that English is not my native language, which therefore means... exactly, you've guessed it! I have to spend an even greater chunk of my time on Google Translate and grammar checkers to ensure that my sentences are sufficiently coherent and readable – I check and recheck the meaning of any slightly technical or formal term, I read and reread what I write, I rewrite everything I don't deem good enough, I try not to repeat the same words too much throughout the whole text, etc.
Needless to say, this is quite a time-consuming process that can take many hours – and sometimes even days – just for one post. Several fucking hours – or days – for one fucking post. For instance, I have been writing – and constantly rewriting – the text you are currently reading for a few days now. As you can see, I am undoubtedly and completely insane, especially considering that many of my writings will – understandably – be left unread and unreplied.
Now, someone could ask me why I invest so much time in something as irrelevant as an Internet post, when I could be doing something more profitable. Well, first off, I don't care about profit at all; in fact, I would CTB even if I had trillions in the bank, because life would still be futile, risky and painful. On the other hand, I waste so much of my life on such a pointless task simply because I'm out of my fucking mind and I have to fill the many empty hours with something. I also suffer from OCD, among quite a few other conditions – such as tics, misophonia, etc. –, which can only compound it all. In short, I'm utterly fucked up in the head, but don't judge me please; I'm suffering enough already.
To finish off, I also want to apologize for being so unnecessarily verbose in this post, and I totally get it if you just can't be bothered to read such long and wordy babbling. Honestly, I don't think my threads are usually meant for anybody but myself, save for some of them – such as the ones on antinatalism. Indeed, they're often just a selfish outlet for whatever thoughts or feelings are inside that chaotic and messed-up brain of mine. However, feel free to read my pompous and nonsensical crap if you wish to do so.
On top of all this, it doesn't help either that English is not my native language, which therefore means... exactly, you've guessed it! I have to spend an even greater chunk of my time on Google Translate and grammar checkers to ensure that my sentences are sufficiently coherent and readable – I check and recheck the meaning of any slightly technical or formal term, I read and reread what I write, I rewrite everything I don't deem good enough, I try not to repeat the same words too much throughout the whole text, etc.
Needless to say, this is quite a time-consuming process that can take many hours – and sometimes even days – just for one post. Several fucking hours – or days – for one fucking post. For instance, I have been writing – and constantly rewriting – the text you are currently reading for a few days now. As you can see, I am undoubtedly and completely insane, especially considering that many of my writings will – understandably – be left unread and unreplied.
Now, someone could ask me why I invest so much time in something as irrelevant as an Internet post, when I could be doing something more profitable. Well, first off, I don't care about profit at all; in fact, I would CTB even if I had trillions in the bank, because life would still be futile, risky and painful. On the other hand, I waste so much of my life on such a pointless task simply because I'm out of my fucking mind and I have to fill the many empty hours with something. I also suffer from OCD, among quite a few other conditions – such as tics, misophonia, etc. –, which can only compound it all. In short, I'm utterly fucked up in the head, but don't judge me please; I'm suffering enough already.
To finish off, I also want to apologize for being so unnecessarily verbose in this post, and I totally get it if you just can't be bothered to read such long and wordy babbling. Honestly, I don't think my threads are usually meant for anybody but myself, save for some of them – such as the ones on antinatalism. Indeed, they're often just a selfish outlet for whatever thoughts or feelings are inside that chaotic and messed-up brain of mine. However, feel free to read my pompous and nonsensical crap if you wish to do so.
