Venting ‘It gets better, believe me’

[EvisceratedJester]

115.6 MPH Snap posted by girlfriend of driver that caused fatal crash that killed 5 people

A video posted on Snapchat at 9:38 p.m. would document the final minutes of Pablo Cortes III and his girlfriend Jolie Bartolome's lives.

www.wflx.com

Sounds like you're passive aggressively trying to call me an idiot lol.


Literally just as "biased" and literally in "A, B, C" format lol.

There are at least 5 other people here that indicated that they see my point by posting the video. And I am satisfied with that. If you don't, it really doesn't effect me either way.

I am now recognizing that gaslighting is your thing, so I will respectfully be muting you now. No need to comment any further.

Sorry if comes off as though I'm calling you an idiot. I didn't mean it that way.

Also, your second point doesn't make any sense. You do realize what I was addressing in that post, right? That if you were trying to make the point that things have gotten a lot worse than there are plenty of issues that could be discussed that were never addressed in the video. Those were just examples of things that could have been discussed.

How does that point to things getting a lot worse? There are plenty of actual issues going on right now that easily point to that (the spread of misinformation, increasing political divides, the increasing wealth gap, etc) but none of these issues are actually being discussed in the video.

It has nothing to do with the point that I was making about this sort of pessimism being basically the same as the sort of optimism being discussed in this thread. They were examples used to demonstrate things that could have actually been discussed if you were going to talk about things getting worse.

Also, five other people agreeing with you doesn't mean anything. That's like making acting as those because the majority of people somewhere agree with your views that "all women should have to be completely submissive to their husbands" or something, that means your right.

Also, how am I gaslighting you? Do you even know what gaslighting is?

 

[LifeCanBeCruel]

It's because for most people, things usually do get better, or they eventually adapt to the problem and it feels more manageable.

This is then wrongly used as proof that things ALWAYS gets better. I don't know why people say this as it's evidently not true.

 

[Unattainable666]

Honestly, it doesnt get better ever. Oh you may have a moment of joy or happiness but trust me they are fleeting. Life fucking sucks, it doesnt get better it only gets worse, it wears you out until there is nothing left of the person you were you're already dead just still walking around. Gee what a joyful life that is.

 

[sanction]

Its just a simple phrase, don't get too emotionally attached to it. Its just like how every time someone says "How are you?", the default answer is always "Fine, thank you"

So whenever you tell someone you're feeling down, its always the same old default answer "don't worry, it gets better"

Thats why I've already given up long time ago telling "regular people" my feelings, because I already know what to expect. They simply won't understand and just give the same old useless "positive" words and answers. Just a waste of time

I rather come on this forum to vent and rant to people who actually understand instead. It is indeed a lonely journey and experience

 

[huphup]

I learned about "optimistic bias" the other day and it perplexed me because I was told that humans tend to lean on the more pessimistic side. However, around 80% of the population has some form of this bias.

Guess who doesn't? Depressed people tend to be more pessimistic and people with autism don't show this bias. Basically, those who are mentally ill are not living in this optimistic BS that is literally perceived to be true, but is not.

We are living in reality, while others are not.

 

[Little_Suzy]

Overall, if someone says, "It gets better," read the room and keep it short, because now is not the time to discuss your problems with this person.


When dealing with emotional vampires, I believe it's at its most toxic. It is code for, "I could care less about your problems; now STFU and leave!"



Most of the time, it's not toxic positivity:

-They can't relate to what you're saying, so it's difficult for them to empathize. Nonetheless, they want to be good friends and will listen to you.

-They're not in the mood to discuss problems or negativity. They're dealing with far more serious problems.

-When you're oversharing with a stranger or random people at work.

-They feel like a bad friend because they can't help.

 

[callen]

Overall, if someone says, "It gets better," read the room and keep it short, because now is not the time to discuss your problems with this person.


When dealing with emotional vampires, I believe it's at its most toxic. It is code for, "I could care less about your problems; now STFU and leave!"



Most of the time, it's not toxic positivity:

-They can't relate to what you're saying, so it's difficult for them to empathize. Nonetheless, they want to be good friends and will listen to you.

-They're not in the mood to discuss problems or negativity. They're dealing with far more serious problems.

-When you're oversharing with a stranger or random people at work.

-They feel like a bad friend because they can't help.

I don't overshare with people in real life so that isn't an issue for me, I have however witnessed people saying 'it gets better' to people they don't know, so it's more of assumption that thinks like them, or they just don't care. They do this without being asked. Not a friend lmao.

 

[Shimidori]

I guess I'll have to re-rail the topic.

There is a bit of truth on their words, if you squint your eyes really hard: things *can* get better.

The problem is, how willing would one be to deal with just "the potential of things getting better", and it also does ignore one's many efforts to try to make things better, and their mant failures. I see my life, and am willing to say that it is not impossible for things to get better.

...But I'm just so, so tired of pretending that things can get better and nothing more. Some call it a coward's choice, I prefer to call it the option I take when I simply want to cut the suffering once and for all, I simply can't imagine to continuously gamble with a fleeting happiness for the remaining 50-60 years left of my life.

 

[Deleted member 65988]

I guess I'll have to re-rail the topic.

There is a bit of truth on their words, if you squint your eyes really hard: things *can* get better.

The problem is, how willing would one be to deal with just "the potential of things getting better", and it also does ignore one's many efforts to try to make things better, and their mant failures. I see my life, and am willing to say that it is not impossible for things to get better.

...But I'm just so, so tired of pretending that things can get better and nothing more. Some call it a coward's choice, I prefer to call it the option I take when I simply want to cut the suffering once and for all, I simply can't imagine to continuously gamble with a fleeting happiness for the remaining 50-60 years left of my life.

Gamblers fallacy really fits this whole argument quite well.

 

[Little_Suzy]

I don't overshare with people in real life so that isn't an issue for me, I have however witnessed people saying 'it gets better' to people they don't know, so it's more of assumption that thinks like them, or they just don't care. They do this without being asked. Not a friend lmao.

Remember Melanie wore her "I don't care" jacket to visit migrant children detained by ICE. When the kids asked for sneakers and dressers, she refused. She said, "You come to America and ask for things you never had in your country."

You are correct. Most people don't care! lol

This is why the phrase "It gets better" strikes you as condescending. I suggest changing the subject to something more lighthearted because, as the saying goes, "not everyone wants to hear about your problems."

Damn! FLOTUS really said, "Fck them ICE Kids!" Hahahahahah!

 

[BornByGhosts]

Believe me. Totally not survivorship bias bro.