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Fadeawaaaay

Fadeawaaaay

Visionary
Nov 12, 2021
2,160
Are you deliberately ignoring friends? Friends and family are contacting me but it's too painful to respond at all. I'm very lonely but the shame of my depression is humiliating. Don't want to inflict my garbage on others. I used to be fun and lively. Now I'm weird and creepy and boring. Anyone relate?
 
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Reactions: bitter_sweet, 𖣴 nadia 𖣴, hellispink and 16 others
Cathy Ames

Cathy Ames

Cautionary Tale
Mar 11, 2022
2,109
I do relate very much, even though my situation is kind of tangential to yours. I feel like it is for the benefit of others for me to just stay away. From everyone. Plus it is also better for me because what it feels like "being me" is less disgusting and weird when I am alone.
 
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Reactions: bitter_sweet, _Minsk, Hollowman and 1 other person
O

outatime_85

Warlock
May 17, 2022
789
I have no friends to deliberately ignore.

Any family that contacts me only does so to check on another person.

I live every day with depressive symptoms. No one around me cares (I get the standard response "I have my own problems"), and most likely those same people still won't care when I cash out.
 
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Reactions: bitter_sweet, Un-, Arvinneedstodie and 3 others
H

Hollowman

Empty
Dec 14, 2021
1,646
I did that in past episodes of depression but my friends are gone now. I'm to unstable for friendships.
 
M

melodrama

Member
May 7, 2022
47
I relate a lot. My friends always want to talk, but I don't have enough energy to say more than three sentences. Somehow they are still close to me, but i can hear them complaining once in a while... This situation is getting ridiculous and I feel humiliated too... It's sad to see others going through this. The kind of feeling I could never wish on anyone.
 
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Reactions: Fadeawaaaay and chloramine
AloneInCollege

AloneInCollege

The one and only
Mar 7, 2022
167
Not really. For the most part when I stop teaching out to talk to people, no one reaches out to talk to me.
 
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Reactions: 𖣴 nadia 𖣴, bitter_sweet, Superdeterminist and 2 others
C

chloramine

Mage
Apr 18, 2022
504
Kind of. I know I could (and probably should) reach out more. To talk or hang out or whatever, but I just don't have the energy. I can manage responding- initiating takes too much and I put if off indefinitely though
 
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Arvinneedstodie

Arvinneedstodie

Existing is not living
Sep 17, 2018
200
I think you should at least let them know what's going on, that'll make it easier for when you do want to reach out to them later on. I made the mistake of isolating myself completely and burned the few bridges I had during high school. I'm 26 now and I've spent the 9 years completely alone. Old friends are like the foundation, if you don't have that foundation it's over, unless ofc you're highly desirable and people naturally gravitate towards you.
 
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Reactions: Un-
M

Medicmedic72

Buying a bus ticket
Jun 6, 2022
203
Are you deliberately ignoring friends? Friends and family are contacting me but it's too painful to respond at all. I'm very lonely but the shame of my depression is humiliating. Don't want to inflict my garbage on others. I used to be fun and lively. Now I'm weird and creepy and boring. Anyone relate?
I relate more than you will ever know. I have not left my house in 3 days. I went to visit a friend out of state and felt free while I was there. I didn't realize how isolated I was until I came home. Instacart doesn't even ring my doorbell anymore because they know I won't answer. As disgusting as this is, I haven't showered in 3 days because I don't go anywhere to "get dirty".
 
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Reactions: Fadeawaaaay
MountainMonkey

MountainMonkey

Student
Jun 17, 2022
138
I deleted my Facebook, turned off all phone notifications, and I delete any message I receive, without responding. I refuse to communicate with family or friends. This is my personal struggle, and I have no desire to entertain ppl with my story just to feel irritated at their generic responses
 
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Reactions: Superdeterminist and Fadeawaaaay
S

Silly-Dumpling

Member
Jun 18, 2022
7
I'm right there with you. I don't have social media anymore since that makes me feel depressed, and so I just kinda waste away in my room. No one calls me anymore, and I don't call anyone either. I figure what's the point in faking how well I'm doing when they're married with kids or succeeding in careers now.

I'm literally the person you leave behind because they're dead weight. No goals, I'm stuck at home with sick family and I just can't be bothered to try anymore.
 
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Reactions: 𖣴 nadia 𖣴, melodrama, hellispink and 2 others
Un-

Un-

I'm a failure. An absolute waste. A LOSEr.
Apr 6, 2021
652
@Silly-Dumpling said it best. I avoid social media like the plague. It simply hurts watching others succeed in life. It hurts knowing how others were depressed, or messed up like me, but they somehow managed to go on, and are living luxuriously. I don't have the privilege of being acknowledged by anyone - even on Sanctioned Suicide. I don't have the privilege of having people call me, or check if I'm doing okay.

I find comfort in being alone though. Because as much as I'd want to reach out, and actually have someone to talk to, even briefly, I know it won't end well. I have nothing going for myself. I'm not okay, mentally. It'll only lead to hurt and disaster, and I can't deal with that again. I'd rather live in agonising loneliness. Heh, how I suffer..
 
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Reactions: bitter_sweet
S

Silly-Dumpling

Member
Jun 18, 2022
7
I
@Silly-Dumpling said it best. I avoid social media like the plague. It simply hurts watching others succeed in life. It hurts knowing how others were depressed, or messed up like me, but they somehow managed to go on, and are living luxuriously. I don't have the privilege of being acknowledged by anyone - even on Sanctioned Suicide. I don't have the privilege of having people call me, or check if I'm doing okay.

I find comfort in being alone though. Because as much as I'd want to reach out, and actually have someone to talk to, even briefly, I know it won't end well. I have nothing going for myself. I'm not okay, mentally. It'll only lead to hurt and disaster, and I can't deal with that again. I'd rather live in agonising loneliness. Heh, how I suffer..
I think after a while, you learn to be lonely. It's only YOU that you're arguing with and disappointing rather than all of that chatter behind your back about how "exhausting" I am to be around, and I never have anything positive to say.

I feel like I've gone insane most nights too. I have never heard voices before, but now the night time is when I just hear this "loud" sound and no distinct words. Then I'm like, oh great, even the voices are ignoring me too? Lol
 
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Reactions: MountainMonkey and Un-
FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
42,492
I would rather just isolate myself from people. I see it as best to be alone and I never really feel lonely. People can be tiring and can often make things worse.
 
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Reactions: Un-
hellispink

hellispink

poisonous
May 26, 2022
1,229
I live in isolation. I have always been lonely since I was a kid. No one notices if I am not around. I might be insignificant for them, but i am significant for myself. I prefer to avoid all peoples hypocrisy. They can be there to have fun and all that but once a person is down or depressed or have nothing to offer, they get rid of one.
 

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