Venting Isolating myself

[gnarly]

I've now recently been avoiding interacting with people completely at work. I now no longer talk to co workers and friends. I've felt so numbed from the world I've lost all motivation to interact with people myself. I rely on the internet to keep me from completely losing it. It honestly feels just like highschool again. Numbed and alone. I wish people noticed me more. I wish I had the guts to interact with people. But I'm too afraid. Too afraid to fail. Too afraid to speak out and have faith in myself. I tend to stutter and struggle to make sentences a lot. I could never shit talk back to people because I would fail to make any sense out of it. I've always been a punching bag when it came to hanging out with other people. The way I've been treated in this world is one of the reasons I hate people so much. Why I hate this world. Why I consider it hell. So I've completely gone silent. Avoided most interactions. Only saying hi. I might just stay quiet and completely ignore everyone. Perhaps I'd be better off completely alone in my room. I wish more people like me existed near me. I wanna feel alive again.

 

[astr4]

i hear you, it feels so much safer to isolate from others and as i like to say be a prickly hedgehog than to let myself be vulnerable and hurt by others. im sorry you're feeling so isolated, i know it must feel incredibly lonely, that's why i love this space, i know everyone gets it.

 

[Lost Magic]

I cannot relate to anybody out there because people are exhausting and have caused me great hurt! I'm sure that a great many of us can feel that pain on here as you do. Just focus on yourself for now. Do what you need to do in the meantime. I wish you well!