Discussion Is your ideal self even you?

[Hellis]

I heard it said theat the closer we are to our ideal version of ourself, the happier we are.

My ideal self is a far cry from the person I am, we have nothing in common. Maybe it's why I'm depressed?

 

[RoseGirl]

I am my ideal self (lie)

 

[shampoo sniffer]

Hell no. I despise myself.

 

[iamanavalanche]

my ideal self is someone who hasnt lived the life i lived

 

[nool]

I'm sure I'd be happier if I looked how I wished, but I doubt I'd be anywhere close to society's definition of mentally sound. Severe mental illness runs in my family, so perhaps I'd still be here, except prettier, skinnier, etcetc. Who knows.

 

[pancakelover20]

ideal self is interesting. in my experience, ive come to believe ideal doesn't exist. i just am, we just are. i mean, what even defines ideal? society changes, our standards change, everything is always moving.

the happiest ive been has had nothing to do me being "ideal" and everything to do with me sort of radically accepting myself and others. its contentment.

there have been times where objectively (objectively meaning from a social and societal norm standpoint) ive been close to ideal. to what people want, to what i thought i SHOULD want. i was absolutely miserable and i hated myself and everyone else.

then there have been times where "objectively" i was a mess, and everyone thought i was, and i knew i was, but i was fine and honestly somewhat happy because i just accepted it for what it was. i let everything just be and stopped white knuckling what is and has been and what will be. it doesnt mean you dont try to improve in important ways but it means you dont strain yourself trying to get an image that isn't actually real or tangible.

sometimes we've been conditioned and manipulated by toxic situations and standards to believe we want or should be something that wont make us happy.

theres nothing youre "supposed" to be. everything just is. at least thats what ive found and what has eased my mind the most.

being happy with yourself really is a process as cliche as it all sounds. im far from there still. i fell off lol. might never get back on but ill still state my points.

 

[Cauliflour]

Oh hey I have a drawing just for this from a couple months ago! Made it my banner because i'm proud of it:

My ideal self is me but with a good hair day and a chopping board for limbs.

 

[deep-sleeper]

My ideal self is me 6 feet under

 

[Pale_Rider]

Depends who you ask.

 

[frayed]

My ideal self would be happy without reason, healthy without effort, and wealthy without bounds

 

[Nightfoot]

To get closer to our ideal self, it's probably easier to change our ideal so we don't have to be near perfect to be content.

 

[RestlessTaiga]

I Don't even know what my ideal self should be, I just have a general ideia, and even then, it's not even my own, like, my ideal self should have money, a job, maybe a family? But I think that almost everyone visualizes their ideal self that way, it's a very "normal" ideal to have.

 

[Xiaojiu]

Not anymore. I lived my ideal self before unfortunately I'm not her anymore :(

 

[florallobotomy]

very different. my ideal self would just be a different body, since my problems still make life manageable enough. so maybe my ideal self would still be me in a way? who knows lol

 

[tooBadTooLate]

I don't even know myself, God damn it.

 

[princexhhn]

Nope, wouldn't be me. Part of who I am was shaped by trauma and tragedy and the likes. A perfectly adjusted normal person who makes his family proud, who stays a daughter and isn't trans or queer, that isn't me. I'm not cishet, which is ideal in my situation, and I don't think I can still be "me" if I'm "well-adjusted". Feels like my instability courses through my blood at this point.

 

[FuneralCry]

There is no such thing as such to me as I see existence as a mistake, all that's ideal to me is non-existence where all is gone and forgotten but more than anything I wish I never suffered at all. I'd never wish for this dreadful, futile existence that just causes pain, suffering and problems there were never a need for at all with no limit as to how much one can be tortured, to me human existence will always be an abomination that is deeply undesirable in every way and I'm always wishing to erase this existence so it's like I never suffered at all.

 

[Mooseanonsky]

The ideal me isn't me at all.

My identity is a mystery, I have no clue who I am and who I want to be. It feels like my true self is shattered into many different pieces, and it shows in what I write; some self-inserts that aren't exactly like me, but still have some of my traits.

I often look at other people I admire and wish I were them because they seem perfect (they aren't) capable, and useful. The traits they have are the ones I lack. I look at them with admiration and envy, tormenting myself with thoughts like "I'm so useless. Why can't I be like them?" or "Wtf is wrong with me?! They can do all this stuff, meanwhile my stupid fucking brain is processing shit 3x slower than everyone else."

It makes me want to die even more.

 

[Lyn]

I don't believe the ideal exists at all. It's like a constant race to change. Even having the traits I lack now, I would struggle to have something different.

So for me, the ideal "me" is a non-existent "me".

Although it definitely would be neither "me", nor anyone else at all.