Discussion Is your brain fried?

[Fadeawaaaay]

I picked up a book to read… And couldn't get past two paragraphs…

 

[Bootleg Astolfo]

I've reached a point of friedness where i have absolutly no idea what's going on and can barely comprehend what im being told to do.

 

[Fadeawaaaay]

I've reached a point of friedness where i have absolutly no idea what's going on and can barely comprehend what im being told to do.

Non functional

 

[Bootleg Astolfo]

Non functional

I can barely manage to feed myself and go to dumb therapy stuff. They keep trying to bully me into getting a 40h job at walmart regardless lol.

 

[Grav]

I don't think I'm fried but I'm forgetting stuff more often. I'm trying to fight it by doing things like reading more (I read a lot normally) and crosswords, and less TV. The sucky thing is after I read a book I have a hard time recalling parts of it besides the general story.

 

[enau]

totally.Im a dummy now.Before, the only quality/ people granted me, was being smart.Not anymore

 

[Deleted member 32964]

Non functional

Ouch. I hope that you grow back the ability to comprehend. I went thru something like that. Eventually, i could comprehend what was happening around me better. Things fell into place. A full-blown nervous breakdown or coming to terms with things leaves us with cognitave dissonance and background processes in your head (like on a computer) trying to rationalize and argue through situations, come to conclusions can be overwhelming. Hopefully you get thru it and can function again.

 

[Ldog9]

Brain fog from depression and anxiety is 100% a thing. I used to love to read. Now, even if it's something I'm enjoying, I struggle with concentrating and retaining anything.

That, and general internet ADD/doom scrolling has made me so unproductive.

 

[OnlyTheWind]

Yes. Today I feel angry enough to kill someone because of it. I hate myself and my stupid brain so much. Everything is wrong and I have lost all hope of ever attaining the life I wanted.

 

[Deleted member 32964]

Brain fog from depression and anxiety is 100% a thing. I used to love to read. Now, even if it's something I'm enjoying, I struggle with concentrating and retaining anything.

That, and general internet ADD/doom scrolling has made me so unproductive.

I did that. couldn't read anything but technical books. I couldn't watch a TV screen. I couldn't listen - interpret what actors were doing and saying. Now I CAN! It took a year or more before I could sit down at a movie and actually hear anything. I slept 3 hours a night and thought that I was fine - FOR YEARS. I couldn't read the text. I'd review it 20x, paranoid. About a hinge. I couldn't see this hige supporting the structure it held. I watched them talk on TV but they were mouthing babble at me. Scary.

 

[in hell out soon]

always man… I can barely even string along a sentence in my own native language

I can feel my cognition just giving up. Grasp of English failing which is especially bad as I'm a writer

Just. Ugh

 

[milly]

mental health deteriorates clearly. i can still read but with effort - i don't enjoy it as much anymore. even video clips on vimeo or youtube are a chore

 

[Deleted member 32964]

I went thru that and recovered from it. Hypervigilance can do that to people. Where you lack one skill set or survival ability, your brain has an ability to chip in and give you insight into other areas where you might function better.

Look at it like this:

1. blind people can't read - there are blind engineers. Somehow, (and I've served them food in restaurants) they had a will and found a way.
2. deaf people can't hear - they can do amazing things with their lives.
3. mentally "ill" people have setbacks that can be temporary or permanent . with the vast array of mental illnesses that I have and have had, I've tried to cope. I've tried to scurry around the do something with my body while my head isn'tworking. I've learned workarounds. Not that I haven't considered death as an alternative to this suffering.

Please don't give up because you're temporarily incapable of reading. Maybe you can learn to be more cardio-minded. Maybe your inner cook is telling you there's a new recipe you should learn to make. Maybe you need to try out this amazing hike. Maybe you can do something else - if that system is down, try an alternative. Maybe you could do headstands in the corner. Yoga stretch, if that's not too intimate.

I'm constantly battling much of the same. "I can't hear or see straight" "I can't see my monitor at work" "My head is talking thru this difficult tax phone call" "my head's calling me crazy for rape accusations" "I feel magnets in my legs pulling me into walls with the 10 commandments up" "I'm crazy, can I go home early?"

Try to find a workaround. Life is not simple and no life is anything but boring without curves and distinctions and struggles that make us learn something new. Perhaps your soulmate is in a group that you need to go to to discuss this issue. Maybe there's a person at the gym who wants to know you. Maybe when you can't read (today) you can exercise rigorously. Grow muscles and improve your heart when your brain is fatty and acting like it won't start. There's something else to plunge away at and a will to keep moving on and getting better and away from that thing I think of as a "demon" makes each day a reward. Turning that corner, getting that monkey-fuck off your back and finding something else to do while you're hallucinating or burning in that spot and cool it off with this one can go on for so long... maybe.

I hope you think of that. When you run from something eating you alive like that, I'm sorry. I do the same. Those things have helped me get out of depressive, ultra-zombie states.

good luck :) Please don't die today. Please don't die tomorrow. Please concientously choose to self-preserve and seek to reward youself with something satisfying. It pays off. Don't hurt YOU. You deserve it. (meaning: better).

 

[...]

always man… I can barely even string along a sentence in my own native language

I can feel my cognition just giving up. Grasp of English failing which is especially bad as I'm a writer

Just. Ugh

relate to this

 

[LONE WOLF.]

Fried? My tiny brain's been Nuked!!!

 

[VoidDesirer22]

I don't think I'm fried but I'm forgetting stuff more often. I'm trying to fight it by doing things like reading more (I read a lot normally) and crosswords, and less TV. The sucky thing is after I read a book I have a hard time recalling parts of it besides the general story.

It really depends how long after the book you are trying to recall. Are we talking the day after? A few days?

I think it is normal to forget a lot of details, but maybe my memory is simply pathetic.

 

[Deleted member 32964]

My brain is fried from honor violence and religion. I feel like a virgin tested, kidnapped slave prevented from accessing a vehicle, a bicycle, a job and my sanity. I feel hassled into believing that women who go hiking are "bad people" who need poodle skirts on and to ride horses sidways. I feel trapped in my own home by evangelical idiots who aren't there. I feel slut-shamed, abortion shamed and so I bought shirts that announce these topics and WOMEN'S PRIDE in front of fundamentalists. i am prevented from going on job interviews by people who tell me "this job is for men". I studied very hard and took 2 years off of work after being guilted and taught that I should be doing something more. Now, I am not allowed to use it - even after hired, "women can't do that" I feel beat at bus stops by something that has informed that women are there to "FUCK, COOK, REPRODUCE and clean". I feel held hostage in my head. I feel led into suicide by honor culture. I feel sexually abused using a shower talked to about virginity and talked to by a crazy person who teaches women that they "shower with god"> I was angry enough to spray my urine in a christian gym and proclaim back "pussy grabs back - I drink beer and piss in the shower and you're not whoring me out at a church with FGM". Now i go to 24-hr fitness.

I moved over 50x. I was sexually assaulted by the police (fat white repulsive porky pig - as I called him) who put his penis to my temple and yanked on my wet hair telling me "I had no figure". I had asked my rapist roommate to stay away from me. Through FB.

I feel stalked by angry church people who want to see me battered and told I'm crazy and I deserved it. I feel treated worse than a prostitute by these cultures and there's nothing you can do or starve me from, anything else you could possibly take (sanction) away from me in your war of attrition on women. I think you're losers who are desperate to rape a female dog-trained slave. The best thing that ever happened in my entire life was taking a hammer to a cross in the middle of the night and junking it.

These are the things that keep me and make me suicidal.

I am not afraid of the following:
1. Working until my hands BURST
2. Exercising myself into looking kind of like a little boy who lifts weights.
3. studying 10 hours a day - working 7 days a week
4. At the very worst, sleeping in a doorway or a shelter to make sure I'm safe from Ariel Castro stalker manipulative, coercive, trafficking fucking trash that claims that men are there to give to women and that he "takes good care of me - I'm just off my meds".

what I will not do: SUBMIT - how you get off on talking to a woman like a dog who rolls over and takes it up the ass when asked to do so - after "all you do for her" is beyond me.

Seriously - how low will you go to keep a woman detained who you believe is "made for you" how much sexual control do you need over a woman? When will it end? With suicide? Is that how far it needs to be taken to show that we're not interested. I have NO NO NO NO NO 000000 zero interest in honor culture. You're killing me. You killed my friend and threw her from the ledge of a building leaving fundamentalist Muslim culture. I FUCKING HATE YOU PEOPLE and hope you choke to death for the damage you do to girls and women. We aren't your PROPERTY or "coming home - at a time when indicated". I've lost my life running from friends a family who rape, honor kill and shame.

This culture - these customs .... THEY"RE UGLY ENOUGH TO MAKE A STRAIGHT WOMAN GAY WHO IS HAPPY TO SLEEP ON THE SIDE OF ROAD FOR HER OWN SAFETY.

If I ever "CTB" and you don't see me anymore and I'm not accessible and available for comment (obviously, my email address was listed as my account name by mistake) that is WHY.

This is not my shit. How people live in these black and white television sets where torture of women or purchase of controlled SUBS is normal is beyond me. I'd prefer to be thrown from a 14 story building, as well.

how people honor or obey "the rich" deprive women of the bare necessities, turn them into objects who sleep with dirty old men who "do so much for them" is beyond me. I'd be CTB and on the other side of the country if shit like you for brains were my mommy. I'd call you an honor killer. I'd call you FILTH. I'd call you lower than a murderer. I'd call you worthless trailer trash cocksucking child abusing gold digging fake tan wearing woman hating trafficking fucking jealous hateful spiteful jealous lazy stupid shallow fucking FILTH.

You're PERVERTS. I HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATE YOu.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Honor_killing

 

[nameeater]

absolutely, i'm barely capable of the absolute basics anymore.

 

[Dreamlike Reality]

My brain is about 100% fried. I can't even recognize what's happening around me anymore. Can't retain any knowledge or process any words being spoken to me.