Venting Is wanting it to end too much to ask?

[notori]

I hit my head at work 2 days ago and I haven't felt normal since. I tried to wait it out initially but the pain in my head just got worse like a migraine that lasts forever. Finally told someone they took my to the doctor on site because I work at a navy base and they just told me I have a headache and to go to the ER if I don't feel better in 24 hours. I had to have my manager drive me home because I was way too sensitive to light.

I'm never an angry person, but the past two days I have been so, so angry. I have an anxiety disorder so panic attacks are normal for me but I'm getting multiple a day. I can't walk in a straight line or think straight. I haven't felt normal and I hate it. I hate it. I had to get my sister to cook for me. And I feel so dazed I can't even do my makeup and I feel so ugly without it and I was going to go out with her today because it's her birthday and I got the day off work specifically for that and I hate myself so much that its all been For nothing . I can't sleep. I was trying to go to bed and stay in the dark last night but my family was all drinking and I said I didn't want any because I haven't felt well and they were so loud and when I asked them to please be quiet they literally got louder on purpose. And later night my step dad screamed at us like I've never heard anyone scream out of anger before about how much he hates us and how selfish we are and how he's going to leave us and we have no money and threatening us. They were so loud and I'm so sensitive to sound I was so desperately trying to end it while it was happening in my room last night but stupid SI. I know this sounds stupid but I tried to hang myself with my hoodie strings, then a blanket, then a scarf that actually seemed to work. Nowhere is my room is high enough so I was trying to partial hang from my closet and it felt so peaceful when everything got quiet while I was slowly suffocating. But SI got the best of me and I stood up. I'm moving out of my parents house in like a week.

I don't even know if what I'm writing is coherent because my brain is so foggy. It my sisters birthday today and I feel To nauseous to go out. If this is my new normal I've never wanted to die more. I feel so stupid barely being able to get out of bed without falling over. The ringing in my head is louder., I have chills and parts of my head and body I didn't even hit ache and are tender to the touch. I want it to end


Nobody in my life is taking me seriously and k dot. Have health insurance and can't afford to go to the ER and I don't want to make things in my family worse by starting drama and financial issues I don't know if workers comp will fulfill. I don't have the balls toYake initiative and call and ambulance or something to get a chrckup and I would just rather die. I can't focus at all or do things I enjoy

Sorry if this isn't making snese I haven't felt like myself

 

[Forever Sleep]

Sounds like concussion- not that I'm an expert but that's bad- they should check out any kind of head injury. I'm sorry no one is taking you seriously.

 

[TotallyNotWielkiM]

Yep, just like @Forever Sleep wrote, it's possible this is a concussion. I'm not a doctor of course, but please try to get medical attention and that whatever you're feeling right now might not be your actual feeling, and just getting caught up in annoying headache.