Help is tonight the night?

[monsterultra44]

i know my method, i have what i need, but i'm scared. what if it doesn't work and i end up in hospital again, or i just cause more pain to my family?
i've lost 2 grandparents in the last month and i don't want to make things harder for my family, but i'm so desperate to do it.
my mum lectured me today and told me how i'm making her sick, i'm disgusting (my room is a mess and i struggle with hygiene) and if i'm gonna carry on like this she wants me out of the house. she's saying this like i'm choosing to be like this, but i'm not. i hate that i'm like this i really do but nothing is working to make me better.

today made me realise, i am a bad person. i don't deserve anything good. i really am better off dead. i just wish i was brave enough to do it.

 

[deomlez]

Whatever you do... please let a letter to your mom... make peace with her even if through this letter.

 

[outrider567]

If you're scared, then tonight is not the night

 

[monsterultra44]

If you're scared, then tonight is not the night

how do i know when to do it? in the past i haven't been scared to try but now i'm just worried that it won't work

Whatever you do... please let a letter to your mom... make peace with her even if through this letter.

i'm just so upset and angry with her, but i know i can't do it without letting her know it isn't her fault. i can't let her live with the guilt

 

[Sweet Tart]

I'm sorry your mom is so judgmental. I wish she could have empathy for how much you are dealing with instead of complaining about how your depression is affecting her.

 

[FuneralCry]

I hate how suicide is so unnecessarily difficult in this world, I would also fear ctb failing as such a thing sounds so horrible, we all deserve the option of a guaranteed way to leave this world in peace but anyway I wish you the best.