Is this wrong?

[Saddaisy]

I'm ready to die. Every day I beg the universe to have mercy and to let me pass in my sleep or get hit by a semi. The only reason I'm still here is for my cat. Would it be wrong to put her down and then go home to do it? This way we could be buried together and she wouldn't have to suffer without me.

I'm sick of having to live this lie with my boyfriend. He cheated on me and even before that I was on the fence about ending things. That was the final thing I could take. He doesn't know I know, but I plan to leave a fully detailed letter explaining about what he did and how it helped drive me to this. I'm also going to include the other reasons so it's not just him.

I want him to have to live every day for the rest of his life knowing he caused this. I was trying to hold on until she went naturally, but I've taken such good care of her she could live 5-7 plus and I'm not able to last that long.

I know I could find someone to take her, but me giving her away would be a huge sign and I don't care to have anyone try to stop me. My worthless boyfriend is going out of town in a few weeks and that would be the perfect time. I'll be alone for 2 days so no way for anyone to find me and "save" me.

 

[Thelonius]

I wouldn't put her down. I've put down a cat (cancer of the tongue), a dog (stomach cancer), and several rats (just cancer, if you've had rats you'd know what I mean). Even with a reason, I bear the burden of their deaths today.

 

[a.n.kirillov]

He will be out in less than five seconds. Compared to a life as a stray cat or with bad owners, probably a good deal.

 

[Saddaisy]

I wouldn't put her down. I've put down a cat (cancer of the tongue), a dog (stomach cancer), and several rats (just cancer, if you've had rats you'd know what I mean). Even with a reason, I bear the burden of their deaths today.

I've put down animals and have to see the pain people go through when they put down their animals. I'm just not wanting her to live a miserable life with my boyfriend who has already said if anything happens to me he'll throw her on the street. We were fighting but I still can't risk it. I don't plan to be around long after she is gone. I'll go home, kiss our dog goodbye, make sure she has food and water for 24 hours and then go.

 

[Soul]

@Saddaisy, I'm sorry you're in pain, but please don't put your cat down; place him/her in that new home. You can think of a reason - your bf is objecting to the cat, or you have a new job that requires a lot of travel, or your doctor suspects you've developed an allergy. If you put the cat down and something goes wrong with your plans or you change your mind, you won't want the burden of having an animal killed for no reason. Please be careful, and think this over some more.

 

[pete_x]

modernity say ahhhhhhhh no, but hey. Me personally i would get Gumbo to a good home first.

 

[Walilamdzi]

Find a new home for your cat first.

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

I don't think it's wrong to consider it. It sounds to me like you're looking for ways to remove obstacles to what you want. Thinking and acting are two different things, and it's good that you're thinking. I do get that it's more humane than leaving her with your boyfriend.

Here are my thoughts:

A vet will likely not euthanize a healthy animal on request.

During those two days, you can take her to a new home, or an organization that will re-home her.

If you do the above and for any reason back out of ctb, lie about what happened while he was gone. Make up a story for everyone and stick to it, maybe that she got out and never returned. Then you can be authentically sad, but no one will know the actual reason.

 

[Saddaisy]

@Saddaisy, I'm sorry you're in pain, but please don't put your cat down; place him/her in that new home. You can think of a reason - your bf is objecting to the cat, or you have a new job that requires a lot of travel, or your doctor suspects you've developed an allergy. If you put the cat down and something goes wrong with your plans or you change your mind, you won't want the burden of having an animal killed for no reason. Please be careful, and think this over some more.

Anyone who knows me knows I would take 10000 allergy pills a day for this cat and would tell my bf to go away before I got rid of her. I'm trying to see if there's a way I can send a delayed text to someone and have it go thru 24 hours after I'll be done. I know someone who would take her if anything happened to me, but the problem is getting her to them because anyone who knows me knows I would have to be dead to willingly give her up

I don't think it's wrong to consider it. It sounds to me like you're looking for ways to remove obstacles to what you want. Thinking and acting are two different things, and it's good that you're thinking. I do get that it's more humane than leaving her with your boyfriend.

Here are my thoughts:

A vet will likely not euthanize a healthy animal on request.

During those two days, you can take her to a new home, or an organization that will re-home her.

If you do the above and for any reason back out of ctb, lie about what happened while he was gone. Make up a story for everyone and stick to it, maybe that she got out and never returned. Then you can be authentically sad, but no one will know the actual reason.

She's old enough and has enough health issues that I could get a vet to do it. I work at a vet clinic actually so it definitely wouldn't be hard to find a clinic (not mine for obvious reasons) and get them to do it.
I'll check this tomorrow. Jerk face will be home soon and I have to fake happiness

 

[ssaaahmo]

I'm ready to die. Every day I beg the universe to have mercy and to let me pass in my sleep or get hit by a semi. The only reason I'm still here is for my cat. Would it be wrong to put her down and then go home to do it? This way we could be buried together and she wouldn't have to suffer without me.

I'm sick of having to live this lie with my boyfriend. He cheated on me and even before that I was on the fence about ending things. That was the final thing I could take. He doesn't know I know, but I plan to leave a fully detailed letter explaining about what he did and how it helped drive me to this. I'm also going to include the other reasons so it's not just him.

I want him to have to live every day for the rest of his life knowing he caused this. I was trying to hold on until she went naturally, but I've taken such good care of her she could live 5-7 plus and I'm not able to last that long.

I know I could find someone to take her, but me giving her away would be a huge sign and I don't care to have anyone try to stop me. My worthless boyfriend is going out of town in a few weeks and that would be the perfect time. I'll be alone for 2 days so no way for anyone to find me and "save" me.

please do what is best for your cat. you don't want the little precious one to suffer

 

[Saddaisy]

p

lease do what is best for your cat. you don't want the little precious one to suffer

I don't and that's why if I'm going to end things I want her by my side. He wouldn't care for her.

 

[LastFlowers]

Yes, that is wrong. You could find someone who yourself and mutuals don't know, to take her. You could try to have her taken on the same day or within the time frame you are alone. You have to find a way to get her a new home rather than take her life when she's not able to protest or have a choice in it. Even taking her to a no kill shelter, or making an overnight appointment with a trusted vet (who won't put the cat down) for some made up issue while you end your life. And if you know someone who would be home in time for the cat and a family member or friend who would take her after your death, then there's not really a need to do much of anything. You could even request that someone care for her in your suicide note.

 

[Kumachan]

I'm ready to die. Every day I beg the universe to have mercy and to let me pass in my sleep or get hit by a semi. The only reason I'm still here is for my cat. Would it be wrong to put her down and then go home to do it? This way we could be buried together and she wouldn't have to suffer without me.

I'm sick of having to live this lie with my boyfriend. He cheated on me and even before that I was on the fence about ending things. That was the final thing I could take. He doesn't know I know, but I plan to leave a fully detailed letter explaining about what he did and how it helped drive me to this. I'm also going to include the other reasons so it's not just him.

I want him to have to live every day for the rest of his life knowing he caused this. I was trying to hold on until she went naturally, but I've taken such good care of her she could live 5-7 plus and I'm not able to last that long.

I know I could find someone to take her, but me giving her away would be a huge sign and I don't care to have anyone try to stop me. My worthless boyfriend is going out of town in a few weeks and that would be the perfect time. I'll be alone for 2 days so no way for anyone to find me and "save" me.

Oh... I can totally relate to that, only I was the terrible, cheating husband/boyfriend and now im here because of that...

 

[mathieu]

If she is old and has health issues it might be best to have her put down rather than risk her not having a loving home who will take care of her with her issues.

 

[autumnal]

I'm ready to die. Every day I beg the universe to have mercy and to let me pass in my sleep or get hit by a semi. The only reason I'm still here is for my cat. Would it be wrong to put her down and then go home to do it? This way we could be buried together and she wouldn't have to suffer without me.

I'm sick of having to live this lie with my boyfriend. He cheated on me and even before that I was on the fence about ending things. That was the final thing I could take. He doesn't know I know, but I plan to leave a fully detailed letter explaining about what he did and how it helped drive me to this. I'm also going to include the other reasons so it's not just him.

I want him to have to live every day for the rest of his life knowing he caused this. I was trying to hold on until she went naturally, but I've taken such good care of her she could live 5-7 plus and I'm not able to last that long.

I know I could find someone to take her, but me giving her away would be a huge sign and I don't care to have anyone try to stop me. My worthless boyfriend is going out of town in a few weeks and that would be the perfect time. I'll be alone for 2 days so no way for anyone to find me and "save" me.

ssaaahmo said:
please do what is best for your cat. you don't want the little precious one to suffer

I don't and that's why if I'm going to end things I want her by my side. He wouldn't care for her.

I find it quite astounding that you claim the reason you are still here is your cat (implying you have a strong love for her) and yet in the same paragraph suggest putting her down purely for your own convenience. This isn't ancient Egypt, and there is no reason for your healthy cat to die alongside you just because you are choosing to end your life. Just because you think your boyfriend taking care of her (or not) means she might suffer, doesn't mean she wouldn't also suffer if put to sleep, in terms of being denied the rest of her lifespan! Additionally, you seem to be considering any alternative arrangements only in terms of how they might cast suspicion on your suicide attempt, rather than how they might help your cat.

You claim to have 'taken such good care' of her, but doing something like this would well and truly negate that record. Frankly, in reading your post and responses, you come across far worse in terms of selfishness and uncaring than your supposedly 'worthless boyfriend' does. You may well choose to guilt out and blame your boyfriend during your suicide, and he may well deserve that, but there is certainly no disputing that your cat is a totally innocent party in all of this.

Along with all of the other suggestions from members, please also have a good look at this idea and see if it or some variation of it might work in your case. Your friend who you said would take her would be the person you list as an emergency contact in that plan.

I and all of the other concerned members here would urge you to please do the right thing.

 

[GoBack]

@Saddaisy that would be awful sorry,. Apart from the obvious getting your cat a new home instead, what if you were to put her down and then attempt ctb and fail? That would feel really bad

 

[Meowkin]

I'm ready to die. Every day I beg the universe to have mercy and to let me pass in my sleep or get hit by a semi. The only reason I'm still here is for my cat. Would it be wrong to put her down and then go home to do it? This way we could be buried together and she wouldn't have to suffer without me.

I'm sick of having to live this lie with my boyfriend. He cheated on me and even before that I was on the fence about ending things. That was the final thing I could take. He doesn't know I know, but I plan to leave a fully detailed letter explaining about what he did and how it helped drive me to this. I'm also going to include the other reasons so it's not just him.

I want him to have to live every day for the rest of his life knowing he caused this. I was trying to hold on until she went naturally, but I've taken such good care of her she could live 5-7 plus and I'm not able to last that long.

I know I could find someone to take her, but me giving her away would be a huge sign and I don't care to have anyone try to stop me. My worthless boyfriend is going out of town in a few weeks and that would be the perfect time. I'll be alone for 2 days so no way for anyone to find me and "save" me.

I'm sorry for what you're going through. I have a cat too and I feel the same ambiguity. I don't want to live but I don't want to leave my cat. Peace to you and your cat whatever happens. Good luck.

 

[autumnal]

I'm sorry for what you're going through. I have a cat too and I feel the same ambiguity. I don't want to live but I don't want to leave my cat. Peace to you and your cat whatever happens. Good luck.

Incidentally @Meowkin, it was never quite clear whether you saw my advice back on your own cat thread.

 

[noko]

I find it quite astounding that you claim the reason you are still here is your cat (implying you have a strong love for her) and yet in the same paragraph suggest putting her down purely for your own convenience. This isn't ancient Egypt, and there is no reason for your healthy cat to die alongside you just because you are choosing to end your life. Just because you think your boyfriend taking care of her (or not) means she might suffer, doesn't mean she wouldn't also suffer if put to sleep, in terms of being denied the rest of her lifespan! Additionally, you seem to be considering any alternative arrangements only in terms of how they might cast suspicion on your suicide attempt, rather than how they might help your cat.

You claim to have 'taken such good care' of her, but doing something like this would well and truly negate that record. Frankly, in reading your post and responses, you come across far worse in terms of selfishness and uncaring than your supposedly 'worthless boyfriend' does. You may well choose to guilt out and blame your boyfriend during your suicide, and he may well deserve that, but there is certainly no disputing that your cat is a totally innocent party in all of this.

Along with all of the other suggestions from members, please also have a good look at this idea and see if it or some variation of it might work in your case. Your friend who you said would take her would be the person you list as an emergency contact in that plan.

I and all of the other concerned members here would urge you to please do the right thing.

I think you are being way too harsh on this person. You don't know exactly what their feelings are and are being judgemental and borderline rude.

As to OP. Are you really really sure you want to ctb in these conditions that you are faced with? I hope I don't sound like a pro lifer but I generally feel very bad for people that are going to ctb even if I will do it myself very soon. Generally people that ctb are in situations that are without solution and even so do not go gladly, or maybe some do, or maybe some fear it. Either way, please please give a second thought to weather you really want to ctb...

 

[Myforevercharlie]

Yes, that is wrong. You could find someone who yourself and mutuals don't know, to take her. You could try to have her taken on the same day or within the time frame you are alone. You have to find a way to get her a new home rather than take her life when she's not able to protest or have a choice in it. Even taking her to a no kill shelter, or making an overnight appointment with a trusted vet (who won't put the cat down) for some made up issue while you end your life. And if you know someone who would be home in time for the cat and a family member or friend who would take her after your death, then there's not really a need to do much of anything. You could even request that someone care for her in your suicide note.

I agree. Don't hurt the little animal... That's heartless!

 

[Nolye]

I agree with a lot of people here: putting down your cat because you want to ctb is wrong. I can only image what has driven you to this point, and I'm sorry you're suffering, but ending your cat's life is not what you should do. Especially since you said she has 5-7 years left to live.

When I had to put down mine because of cancer, part of me wanted to go with her, but I would never, in a million years, purposely euthanize a pet only because I wanted out.

If you truly care and want what's best for her, take your time to find her a new home. If you don't have a family member or a friend who are willing to adopt her, talk to potential new owners to make sure they can provide for her and make sure they're good people.

I'm sorry if I'm too harsh, and it's clear you're in so much pain you can't think straight, but please, please do the right thing for her. She doesn't deserve this.

 

[autumnal]

I think you are being way too harsh on this person. You don't know exactly what their feelings are and are being judgemental and borderline rude.
[...]

I'm sorry you feel that way, but anyone who would consider killing an innocent and healthy animal in those circumstances is deserving of some appropriate moral judgement and a blunt assessment. I'm going to assume you don't own any pets. I don't know exactly what kind of undisclosed feelings you think the OP could possibly have that we don't already know about which would somehow change my moral assessment of their proposal (an assessment seemingly shared by most other people responding, albeit perhaps less bluntly than me). I am more than happy to be the person unafraid to tell it the most honestly, while also remaining within the rules. I have no doubt that OP is feeling depressed and suicidal, but there is no suggestion that they in any way lack the mental or moral capacity to still be held fully responsible for their actions. The vast majority of members here are depressed and suicidal, but that doesn't mean we all get a free pass in the morals department.

I'm all for acknowledging shades of grey and moral relativism, but killing an innocent animal for reasons of convenience is objectively wrong in my book. It is also something I find personally offensive, hence the passion behind my words, for which I am unapologetic. Let's not forget the OP's post was entitled 'Is this wrong?'. They were well aware that there could be opinion, assessment and judgement of their attitude and behaviour, and they voluntarily sought it out. The short answer is 'yes it is wrong', but just saying that would be grossly inadequate, and doing so would make me negligent as someone who is a strong supporter of animal welfare. Taste-tasting your SN is 'wrong'. This scenario is not just 'wrong' but morally wrong, and I stand by that assessment regardless of whether hearing my answer to their question is confronting or even appears rude to the OP. Perhaps they need some confronting to properly appreciate the seriousness, shock and repugnance with which myself and others view their plans.

 

[Pryras]

I'm sorry you had to experience the heartbreak of an unfaithful partner. While I'm not trying to trivialize your pain, because I know how awful it feels to be cheated on, ending your life to spite someone who didn't care enough to be loyal to you is NOT worth it.

It's like drinking poison and hoping he'll suffer for it. He might be traumatized by it but his life will go on and you will not be in forefront of his mind. He's SLIMY and DISGUSTING and you deserve someone who will put YOU first.

As for the cat, your vet won't euthanize your healthy animal on request. If you're worried about her you need to rehome her. Cats don't develop complex emotional ties as we do so it's not fair to euthanize her because you're worried she could suffer.

 

[a.n.kirillov]

Here are some counter arguments:

1. By euthanizing your cat, other animals will be saved. If your cat is allowed to go outside, it is probably killing several insects, mice, birds, reptiles, etc, per day and the food you feed it most likely has some amount of beef and pork in it, both of which come from animals that could be argued to be more complex and capable of suffering than a cat.

To those who called the cat "innocent", – yes, in some sense a cat (as any animal) is innocent, because it has no reflective consciousness; but on the other hand, cats are killing machines that hunt and kill for fun, even when they are already satiated.

2. I would argue that your cat – if euthanized under perfect conditions – will suffer no harm from dying. It will be happy one moment and the next it will be no more.

3. Euthanizing your cat is arguably better for it than ending up as a stray cat. Stray cats have horrible lives.

 

[Pryras]

Here are some counter arguments:

1. By euthanizing your cat, other animals will be saved. If your cat is allowed to go outside, it is probably killing several insects, mice, birds, reptiles, etc, per day and the food you feed it most likely has some amount of beef and pork in it, both of which come from animals that could be argued to be more complex and capable of suffering than a cat.

To those who called the cat "innocent", – yes, in some sense a cat (as any animal) is innocent, because it has no reflective consciousness; but on the other hand, cats are killing machines that hunt and kill for fun, even when they are already satiated.

2. I would argue that your cat – if euthanized under perfect conditions – will suffer no harm from dying. It will be happy one moment and the next it will be no more.

3. Euthanizing your cat is arguably better for it than ending up as a stray cat. Stray cats have horrible lives.

I can respect contrasting opinions but unless she dumps the cat on the street why not just rehome it or send it to a shelter? The cat *could* find a new home or in the worst case scenario never find one and be put down peacefully. No vet will euthanize her cat without cause, and this isn't a justified one. And since the cat has no reflective conscious she would not miss her owner much less understand what's going on.

 

[GoBack]

Dump boyfriend, keep cat. See what happens

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

My opinion is that cats are more connected to their environments and their place within that environment than to people. People don't fit in cat hierarchies like they do for dogs. Cats can be connected to a person, but a person is part of the environment and has a powerful impact on it because they have more power to create and influence it than does a cat. In rare circumstances, a cat can imprint on a human.

A cat can move into a new environment and adjust. It's comforting to them if one rubs a towel on the cat, then rubs the towel over the new environment before they enter. If those who are in charge of the environment are supportive of the cat, and the cat "approves" of that person's vibe, they'll connect with that person. If it's not a conducive environment, say one that's controlled by the boyfriend, then the cat is not going to thrive, feel safe, be content, etc.


I'd also just like to say, there's a difference between pointing out what one considers errors in the OP's reasoning or ideas, and another to make the OP themselves wrong for having or considering the ideas. Condemnation doesn't inspire forward movement, new ideas, or actions that promote well-being. In order to feel right, one does better to stand on the results of their actions than to knock down another and stand on them. I personally don't think it furthers one's goal of convincing the OP to take a different course of action if the OP is being condemned for having considered the course of action in the first place -- is that really any different than how we ourselves get condemned with a limited pro-life stance?

The OP is as human as us. We all make considerations from our own imperfect, non-ideal positions. It's easy to say, "Yeah, but she..." and difficult, I think, to empathize with the despair and desperation that motivated the consideration in the first place. In my personal and therefore fallible opinion, the OP spoke with the braveness of vulnerability, asking for help, as if she (?) cracked open the door to the room of her life and called out to us in her village, "I need help, this is one idea I've had to resolve a problem." But sometimes we can all tend to see a monster and go after it with torches and pitchforks, and overlook the many elements in the scene beyond the door at which they're standing, as well as what surrounds their personal space. I caution against hearing the cry for help and responding with indignation without taking into account the entire scene around the situation, as well as all of the elements within. Not being a finger-pointing, self-righteous know-it-all here, I need this reminder sometimes myself, to bring me back down when I'm puffed up and fired up because someone touched my sacred cow.

 

[Deleted member 17949]

Give kitty away to someone else

 

[Despondent]

I'm sorry for all that it is you're going through <3 I personally don't think that you should put him/her down. You don't necessarily have to leave your cat with your boyfriend, but you can make sure that he/she is given to a family who will love them as much as you do. In a different situation but somewhat similar, I too have questioned the same thing but it isn't and wouldn't be fair to your pet. I know how you feel though. I'm sending hugs Please don't do this to them.. they will be loved

 

[lululoo]

I find it quite astounding that you claim the reason you are still here is your cat (implying you have a strong love for her) and yet in the same paragraph suggest putting her down purely for your own convenience. This isn't ancient Egypt, and there is no reason for your healthy cat to die alongside you just because you are choosing to end your life. Just because you think your boyfriend taking care of her (or not) means she might suffer, doesn't mean she wouldn't also suffer if put to sleep, in terms of being denied the rest of her lifespan! Additionally, you seem to be considering any alternative arrangements only in terms of how they might cast suspicion on your suicide attempt, rather than how they might help your cat.

You claim to have 'taken such good care' of her, but doing something like this would well and truly negate that record. Frankly, in reading your post and responses, you come across far worse in terms of selfishness and uncaring than your supposedly 'worthless boyfriend' does. You may well choose to guilt out and blame your boyfriend during your suicide, and he may well deserve that, but there is certainly no disputing that your cat is a totally innocent party in all of this.

Along with all of the other suggestions from members, please also have a good look at this idea and see if it or some variation of it might work in your case. Your friend who you said would take her would be the person you list as an emergency contact in that plan.

I and all of the other concerned members here would urge you to please do the right thing.

In most threads I see you in, you are criticizing posters in an extremely condescending, nit-picky, and unnecessarily rude way. Might you fulfill this need to be combative and minimizing on another forum? One not filled with depressed/suicidal people? Think whatever you want of the OP, but there is no need to insult her.

I'm not trying to be rude here myself, but I think you need to hear this from more people until you realize it might have some truth. (I've seen people bring it up but you remain sure you are 1000% correct.)