Is this the first place you were open about wanting to kill yourself?

[WhatDoesTheFoxSay?]

Sadly, yes. This is the one and only place I can open up about my suicidal feelings. Whenever I'd bring up 'difficult' topics like assisted dying, even in a casual setting, they'd (family) go "Oh, there she goes again!". Then the next thing you know you're the subject of ridicule—over-thinking, catastrophizing, being a 'negative' person etc.

 

[Starryeyes]

Yea :(

 

[Unicornsrnot4dislife]

I told what I thought was my friend at the time and they pressured me to tell my manager at work. They worked with me and they literally said I'll tell if you don't.
I mean I did get therapy out of it, and our in medication.
I will never tell anyone in RL again. You can't trust people.
I've not been on this site for long, but it is so refreshing to not be pressured or judged by you guys, thank you.

 

[Julgran]

I told what I thought was my friend at the time and they pressured me to tell my manager at work. They worked with me and they literally said I'll tell if you don't.
I mean I did get therapy out of it, and our in medication.
I will never tell anyone in RL again. You can't trust people.
I've not been on this site for long, but it is so refreshing to not be pressured or judged by you guys, thank you.

Did you tell your manager, or just your friend? If you did tell your manager, how did they react?

 

[wanttodie]

• https://sanctioned-suicide.net/thre...t-wanting-to-kill-yourself.80106/post-1434032

Yes. I have never told anyone that I want to ctb, in real life people

 

[Kobusu]

Yeah, I think this is the first place that I've been very direct about it, largely because it's hard to be otherwise. You can't speak openly about any of this, not in detail. I was lucky to have found the site though, if not for any reason than I managed to make my attempts painless because I had a proper understanding of how it all worked. It's nice having a place to openly discuss this stuff though, and in discussing it I've also been able to let a lot of it out, which has been nice. Talking honestly outside of here just gets you thrown into a ward.

 

[WearyHSP]

I attempted in college so that couldn't remain hidden from my family at the time.

I've broached the subject but always get silenced or pushback so I feel like this IS the first place I've been able to truly be myself on the subject.

 

[LingeringUnreal]

Not entirely. My first "serious" relationship and I had a suicide pact, but we chickened out and broke up later on. Kind of sad, but weirdly reassuring to know there's tons of people like us out there.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

Not at all. I've been open enough about my desire to end my suffering with all my close ones for years especially since the events of six years ago. The difference here is that I'm more likely to actually feel free from their concern and not like I'm deliberately pushing them to do something about it for me (which I'm not).

 

[empty]

I talked about my suicidal thoughts with several people before I started posting here. I'm a lot more comfortable talking about it on here though.

I've never openly admitted it to anyone before this site. I think I was in denial myself. I used to post about self harm on r/madeofstyrofoam but that's it. I lurked this site for weeks before even having the courage to make an account

I used to make memes about self harm to post on r/madeofstyrofoam. And I too lurked for awhile before making an account on here.

 

[wanttogetonthebus]

No I used to post on alt.suicide.holiday... there's been a few different forums like this over the years too. Kind of embarrassing that I've posted all these years yet haven't attempted again. Wish I had somewhere I could talk about it irl.

I wish I had someone to talk about it with irl too. alt.suicide.holiday? You're a real OG

 

[VoidDesirer22]

Told one person and they said I was using them as an emotional wet wipe. Actual words. Kinda hope they find out im dead even though I will always love them.

 

[Heartaches]

No, I've been open about with friends, therapists and family (which didn't go well, mind you), but I never felt I could be very open about it or discuss it in lenght. Most people just gave me empty encouragement words which I pretended to accept, though they never helped me in any meaningful way.

I like it here because I can have a broad, nuanced and honest discussion about suicide rather than the cookie-cutter, feel-good, romanticized version they always try to sell and talk about.​

 

[cyanlove]

I used to post a lot about it on tumblr but then they started cracking down on it. Suicide is still able to be discussed but it cannot be tagged.

 

[Somber]

I don't see how talking about being suicidal is going to improve anything for either me or others. It's not as if they can/will help me do it.

 

[inanimate]

no therapy

 

[joshua123]

Yes

 

[Of The Universe]

Is this the first place -SS- you were open about wanting to kill yourself?

How important was that to you?

It is for me.

Never have I ever told anyone about my attempt to kill myself when I was 15. And I have never told anyone before that CTB was in my future.

Not really.

 

[rudebeat]

Unfortunately no. I just told random people I barely knew when I was in middle school. The reason I did this is because I vaguely heard somewhere that it wasn't good to bottle up all your emotions and you should be honest about them. I took that quite literally. Fun fact my parents actually had me tested for autism around this time, although surprisingly the results came up negative. My social awareness was just that bad.