I do believe that if there are videos advising people how to ctb on the internet they will likely be taken down as after all the world that we live in is very anti suicide and wants to force people to stay here. But unfortunately suicide really can be so unnecessarily difficult and complicated and your feelings of wishing that it's easier are understandable. There should be legalised assisted suicide options available as for so many people finding a way to leave themselves can be a struggle. We shouldn't have to suffer so much in trying to find ways to be gone from this world.
But all that anyone can do is do their own research, I'm sorry that you are in this situation and that someone called you 'suspicious' for wanting to find a way to die. It seems like everywhere suicidal people are treated badly, even on here. Some people really can be so insensitive.
I wish you the best.