Venting Is there such a thing as genuine relationships?

[tuyu]

After all my years in many relationships (casual and "serious") I think I can conclude I don't believe in genuine love. This can be said for romantic and platonic love.

For the "positive" relationships, people usually display "healthy" behaviors because they want the relationship to succeed. Why? To feed into their own ego of a successful relationship and to check off some life marker like getting married and shit. And for platonic relationships of course it's to get something done for their own benefit.

For the "negative" relationships, people just display their true behavior and give up on facades because they don't care anymore about the relationship.

In both cases, I feel that both of them don't truly care because it all comes down to self servitude. Likewise can be said for myself as well, I am definitely no saint. How can it be "love" when I can't be myself in front of them? I either get berated or get brushed aside as if what I say is nothing or other shit like that.

Idk just a vent because I got reminded of some friend saying I'm "depressed" because of my toxic relationship or whatever. But to me what difference does it make? I fucking hate it when they say just go find someone else because it's going to be the same cycle of shit anyway, either shitty fake or real behavior. It makes no difference to the idea of me wanting to ctb, well maybe tbh the only difference is that if I'm alone maybe my ctb will be postponed to a later date because I want to get out of this stupid country where I'm at and do it somewhere else.

I feel like my mind fucks me up so much that I'm just going to die alone. And is that really so bad? Maybe it's for the best.

 

[Memoka]

I think that all the actions of a person occur only for the sake of his own EGO.
Do not think about the feelings of others, it is better to focus on your own feelings.
Eternal only you, people will leave.
Feel while you can feel.

 

[confused]

Sorry in advance for this little vent; When I saw your title I indented to reply and disagree with you, but you really bought a new perspective to 'love' for me. I thought about it and I can't really say I have felt love before. I find love isn't always real in the sense that it can be easily confused with other emotions such as care, lust, infatuation, or dependency. It can also be manipulated or abused by others, causing pain and suffering. When love is one-sided or based on false pretences, it can lead to disappointment and disillusionment.

On the other hand, The feeling of being in love, the bond and connection with another person, and the joy and happiness that love can bring are all very real experiences. People often build their lives around love, seeking out and nurturing relationships with those they love and I feel like no one should invalidate that. I sort of feel like if I try hard enough then I will find out what love means, I mean, I have fallen in love and given love, but never truly received it so I can't grasp what it is yet.

Despite my experience, I still believe in the power of genuine love. It may not be easy to find, and it may require hard work and sacrifice, but I believe it is worth pursuing. It's important to recognise the difference between true love and unhealthy relationships, and to prioritize our own well-being and self-respect.

Thx for reading this far if you did xD
Confused. <3

 

[tuyu]

Sorry in advance for this little vent; When I saw your title I indented to reply and disagree with you, but you really bought a new perspective to 'love' for me. I thought about it and I can't really say I have felt love before. I find love isn't always real in the sense that it can be easily confused with other emotions such as care, lust, infatuation, or dependency. It can also be manipulated or abused by others, causing pain and suffering. When love is one-sided or based on false pretences, it can lead to disappointment and disillusionment.

On the other hand, The feeling of being in love, the bond and connection with another person, and the joy and happiness that love can bring are all very real experiences. People often build their lives around love, seeking out and nurturing relationships with those they love and I feel like no one should invalidate that. I sort of feel like if I try hard enough then I will find out what love means, I mean, I have fallen in love and given love, but never truly received it so I can't grasp what it is yet.

Despite my experience, I still believe in the power of genuine love. It may not be easy to find, and it may require hard work and sacrifice, but I believe it is worth pursuing. It's important to recognise the difference between true love and unhealthy relationships, and to prioritize our own well-being and self-respect.

Thx for reading this far if you did xD
Confused. <3

So what is genuine love to you? "Love" is often touted as a choice. So fundamentally that means it's guided by logic right? And more often than not, self-interest?

Even when I read stories about able bodied partners staying with their partner who is no longer able bodied, at first I'll be like ah a feeel good story, but now when I think about it, it's probably because the able bodied partner decided to stay to make themselves feel good as well because They are doing the "morally right thing".

 

[shinohara]

love is a weird thing that I try to not think about too hard because I usually end up at the same conclusion

 

[confused]

So what is genuine love to you? "Love" is often touted as a choice. So fundamentally that means it's guided by logic right? And more often than not, self-interest?

Even when I read stories about able bodied partners staying with their partner who is no longer able bodied, at first I'll be like ah a feeel good story, but now when I think about it, it's probably because the able bodied partner decided to stay to make themselves feel good as well because They are doing the "morally right thing".

Like I said, I couldn't really tell you what love is as I haven't properly received it, but If I really had to try to define it I would assume something on the lines of loving someone is wanting nothing bad to happen to them and wanting for them to be in your life for as long as possible, but like I said "it can be easily confused with other emotions such as care, lust, infatuation, or dependency." and I feel this could fall into those categorises so I'm not too sure.

I genuinely have thought the same thing as you when seeing those stories, but I saw one (wouldn't remember who, what, or where) of one elderly woman taking care of her immobile husband who ended up passing. She did everything she could to make him happy from dancing to spoon feeding him. I feel like if her deepest intentions, or anyone else's, were to feel good about themselves then this is a great effort to go through just for some self validation. Yes, humans are selfish and we do things to benefit our selves but I feel like when it comes to love there's always going to be a percentage of us that want's the best for us, but when we fall in love we get a percentage that want's the best for another person.

 

[sorrow_sparrow]

I think genuine love for partnerships (hetero or lgbt+ community) is rare to find, not that they are not exist but just rare
there is such a natural love like a motherhood or family or pets ( love my cats, he is the only sane in my life )

so its not anyone's fault maybe its just not destined for us to found one,
more love for my cat... less for men

 

[Noise]

Yes, genuine love exists. Except the definition of "genuine love" I'm operating on probably differs from what usually comes to mind. I believe a deep bond characterized by commitment, dedication, devotion, and care exists. However, it is built on conditional means, and such a profound relationship isn't commonly found. I think your grievances come from being disillusioned with the idealized perception of love that has been conceived and yearned for for ages.
Yes, love is the sum of chemicals designed to "manipulate" you into procreation and is maintained by having shared values and interests. Many of us have heard this platitude plenty of times before and are likely to repeat it to ourselves over and over again, only to fall into the cyclical process of emotional ecstasy and eventual abandonment. And yes, more often than not, much of what is falsely equated with "genuine love" is typically a superficial bond. Love isn't some metaphysical force penetrating into the human consciousness that transcendentally binds two people together through unconditional means, but it surely makes you feel good and brings you joy for some time.

I used to be angry with this realization until I discovered that my personal conception of love was really a desire to ( possess ) a reflection of myself to consolidate my delusions with. I never wanted another ( individual ) to build such a bond with. And with this understanding, I find myself much more content with my isolation.

 

[FuneralCry]

No, certainly not, it's always better to be alone anyway than be around cruel, insensitive humans. Relationships just lead to more problems and suffering, you just cannot trust and rely on people.