Venting Is there hope for someone like me?

[thelostautistic]

Despite how hard things are right now I'm thinking about giving life one more go. But am I being realistic? Could things actually get better for someone like me? I'm Autistic, mentally ill and also have a chronic illness. I don't work and don't have much of a social life. I'm so scared of the world because I've been let down and hurt so many times. So I stay at home in my room where I feel safe. How do I even begin to live my life instead of just existing in sadness? I do have goals and dreams but depression and past trauma clouds everything.

Sometimes I just think that getting better is too big of a job and I'll never be able to do it. So ending my life seems like the easier option I just don't know how much fight I have left

 

[Kayla]

Things can get better for someone like you. We're in similar situations. Just don't expect things to get better straight away; these things just take some time. Start with small things and work your way up until you're confident. Wishing you the best

 

[thelostautistic]

Things can get better for someone like you. We're in similar situations. Just don't expect things to get better straight away; these things just take some time. Start with small things and work your way up until you're confident. Wishing you the best

Thank you for being so kind. I really appreciate it

 

[tonicer]

I also wish you the best.

I guess you're still young but I am 40+ and i don't have much more fight in me. All i am doing right now is waiting for my parents to die (both are ~80) and then i travel somewhere with nice high buildings and jump off of one. I achieved nothing in life except being a KHHV that is highly educated but no matter how many job applications i send out of how many job interviews i attend no company wants me. If i at least could get a hug from a woman i would maybe be able to fight on but this all feels meaningless. Being born ugly is a real life curse.

 

[pelicanportal]

How old are you OP?

 

[thelostautistic]

How old are you OP?

24

 

[hoppybunny]

This will sound corny, but the only one who cam decide how bad your situation is, is yourself.

If you want to keep living and seek happiness then there's always hope.

Ofc it may be harder for you than the average person since you have some physical barriers but as long as you know the process may take time and you are kind to yourself, happiness will be an option.

Choosing to live is never a bad thing. But it takes a lot of courage and willpower.

Depression is a thief of joy, willpower and courage, if your depression is chemical you may want to try treating it first with medication because it's really hard to get anything done when you're depressed.

Some ppl may call it laziness but they don't know what they're talking about, so don't let anyone make u feel bad for not making progress or being as energetic as they think you should be.

I hope you can get better and I'm rooting for you.


I don't really have any advice for meeting ppl and making friends cause i haven't made any new friends since highschool, but i heard "Frientimacy: How to Deepen Friendships for Lifelong Health and Happiness by Shasta Nelson" is a good book. I haven't read it yet but it's on my to read list. I personally find relationships to be burdensome despite the fact that i feel lonely very easily. But i know a good support network is very hellul for living a good life.

 

[pelicanportal]

24

Absolutely there is hope, not even close to joever. Dont give up

 

[thelostautistic]

This will sound corny, but the only one who cam decide how bad your situation is, is yourself.

If you want to keep living and seek happiness then there's always hope.

Ofc it may be harder for you than the average person since you have some physical barriers but as long as you know the process may take time and you are kind to yourself, happiness will be an option.

Choosing to live is never a bad thing. But it takes a lot of courage and willpower.

Depression is a thief of joy, willpower and courage, if your depression is chemical you may want to try treating it first with medication because it's really hard to get anything done when you're depressed.

Some ppl may call it laziness but they don't know what they're talking about, so don't let anyone make u feel bad for not making progress or being as energetic as they think you should be.

I hope you can get better and I'm rooting for you.


I don't really have any advice for meeting ppl and making friends cause i haven't made any new friends since highschool, but i heard "Frientimacy: How to Deepen Friendships for Lifelong Health and Happiness by Shasta Nelson" is a good book. I haven't read it yet but it's on my to read list. I personally find relationships to be burdensome despite the fact that i feel lonely very easily. But i know a good support network is very hellul for living a good life.

Thank you so much for your kindness I'm definitely going to have a look at that book!

 

[Vacuous]

From your position, it's far too easy to catastrophize. You're looking at your life from a maximally zoomed-out, goal-oriented perspective, which couldn't possibly bode well for your nervous system. You're alive. That's more than enough.

Despite how hard things are right now I'm thinking about giving life one more go. But am I being realistic? Could things actually get better for someone like me? I'm Autistic, mentally ill and also have a chronic illness. I don't work and don't have much of a social life. I'm so scared of the world because I've been let down and hurt so many times. So I stay at home in my room where I feel safe. How do I even begin to live my life instead of just existing in sadness? I do have goals and dreams but depression and past trauma clouds everything.

Ignore society's standards of success. There is a part of you that wants to live. It's what spurred you to make this post. There's nothing unrealistic about that. Start at arm's length and focus on connection. Don't worry about having "a social life" right now. Just orient yourself around others. Local events, public libraries, restaurants, dating apps, whatever it may be, just take small steps towards connection--but, and this is crucial, without stakes. You don't have to form relationships. Where you're at, just consciously being around others is plenty.

You mentioned your autism and health issues. Those are labels, which others share or will be able to empathize with. They don't negate your humanity; they define and expand it.

You seem very goal-oriented, which is a powerful platform from which to start. But it's also what is causing you to remain passive. It's what is causing you to cling to safety. So alter the script. Stay clung to safety, but change your environment. Let go of the notions of success and failure. Life isn't merely a series of objectives to reach--that belief is a function of capitalist indoctrination--it is being able to exist without feeling the pressure to have to justify it.

Life is a gift on its own, and you are a gift on your own, so go out there and cherish yourself.

 

[Karrikin]

There is always hope. It's there but like people have said it's a matter of effort --doesn't need to be massive improvements or flipping your life overnight of course. I guess the thing to remember then is that those efforts will be rewarded. Unfortunately I can't say much more than that but I do hope that you may look toward improving your circumstances. I wish you luck.

 

[ineedssris]

as someone who was in a similar situation as you, i promise things can get better. about a month ago i was sitting at home bed rotting, hadn't left my house in months. i was incredibly suicidal and was so fucking depressed. i had attempted to ctb at least 18 times in the last 2 months. (jan - feb) and it failed for a reason. since then, i got a job, i have people around me who care about me, my mental health has gotten so much better. if it can happen to me, it can happen to you too. <3 please remember you are loved and the way you feel is valid.

ps. i am also autistic! :p

 

[yotaka]

Despite how hard things are right now I'm thinking about giving life one more go. But am I being realistic? Could things actually get better for someone like me? I'm Autistic, mentally ill and also have a chronic illness. I don't work and don't have much of a social life. I'm so scared of the world because I've been let down and hurt so many times. So I stay at home in my room where I feel safe. How do I even begin to live my life instead of just existing in sadness? I do have goals and dreams but depression and past trauma clouds everything.

Sometimes I just think that getting better is too big of a job and I'll never be able to do it. So ending my life seems like the easier option I just don't know how much fight I have left

I hope this doesn't come across as toxic positivity, and I don't want to brush aside the struggles you've faced, but here are my thoughts for what they're worth:

First of all, if your goals involve getting to the top of a highly competitive field, you're going to have a VERY difficult struggle ahead. To badly paraphrase a line I heard once: no matter how hard you sprint, you won't catch up to people who have been running since childhood. (Not to mention they don't have the added challenge of chronic illness, mental health struggles, etc.). I don't mean this to discourage you; just being realistic.

That said, there are still TONS of opportunities available at your age. There is still so much within reach for you. I think a good starting place would be to write your goals down, maybe in order of priority, and start thinking of how to achieve them. Ask for help. Research. When you have hopeless days, the ones where everything feels like too much, wait it out. Slow progress is still progress.

I really hope this doesn't sound preachy. Just know that, if there's something you still want to do in life, 24 is nowhere close to too late. Start now.

I also wish you the best.

I guess you're still young but I am 40+ and i don't have much more fight in me. All i am doing right now is waiting for my parents to die (both are ~80) and then i travel somewhere with nice high buildings and jump off of one. I achieved nothing in life except being a KHHV that is highly educated but no matter how many job applications i send out of how many job interviews i attend no company wants me. If i at least could get a hug from a woman i would maybe be able to fight on but this all feels meaningless. Being born ugly is a real life curse.

I'm sorry, my friend. I wish people would more openly acknowledge what a huge advantage natural attractiveness is. The world is a messed up place, though. I hope you are still able to find some measure of joy while you're here. Hugs.

 

[tonicer]

I'm sorry, my friend. I wish people would more openly acknowledge what a huge advantage natural attractiveness is. The world is a messed up place, though. I hope you are still able to find some measure of joy while you're here. Hugs.

Thank you but while i haven't given up completely my hopes are not very high.

 

[naughtyNaughtyBear]

I 100% believe things can get better, and I think one day you'll look back be glad you stuck it out through the hard times.

Best of luck

 

[fedup1982]

Sadly I know how you feel. But dying is fucking hard so I just exust in my ineptitude without judgement because it's easier

 

[thelostautistic]

From your position, it's far too easy to catastrophize. You're looking at your life from a maximally zoomed-out, goal-oriented perspective, which couldn't possibly bode well for your nervous system. You're alive. That's more than enough.



Ignore society's standards of success. There is a part of you that wants to live. It's what spurred you to make this post. There's nothing unrealistic about that. Start at arm's length and focus on connection. Don't worry about having "a social life" right now. Just orient yourself around others. Local events, public libraries, restaurants, dating apps, whatever it may be, just take small steps towards connection--but, and this is crucial, without stakes. You don't have to form relationships. Where you're at, just consciously being around others is plenty.

You mentioned your autism and health issues. Those are labels, which others share or will be able to empathize with. They don't negate your humanity; they define and expand it.

You seem very goal-oriented, which is a powerful platform from which to start. But it's also what is causing you to remain passive. It's what is causing you to cling to safety. So alter the script. Stay clung to safety, but change your environment. Let go of the notions of success and failure. Life isn't merely a series of objectives to reach--that belief is a function of capitalist indoctrination--it is being able to exist without feeling the pressure to have to justify it.

Life is a gift on its own, and you are a gift on your own, so go out there and cherish yourself.

Thank you for responding to my post. Your advice was really helpful

There is always hope. It's there but like people have said it's a matter of effort --doesn't need to be massive improvements or flipping your life overnight of course. I guess the thing to remember then is that those efforts will be rewarded. Unfortunately I can't say much more than that but I do hope that you may look toward improving your circumstances. I wish you luck.

Thank you so much

as someone who was in a similar situation as you, i promise things can get better. about a month ago i was sitting at home bed rotting, hadn't left my house in months. i was incredibly suicidal and was so fucking depressed. i had attempted to ctb at least 18 times in the last 2 months. (jan - feb) and it failed for a reason. since then, i got a job, i have people around me who care about me, my mental health has gotten so much better. if it can happen to me, it can happen to you too. <3 please remember you are loved and the way you feel is valid.

ps. i am also autistic! :p

Thank you so much I'm so happy to hear that things have improved for you

I hope this doesn't come across as toxic positivity, and I don't want to brush aside the struggles you've faced, but here are my thoughts for what they're worth:

First of all, if your goals involve getting to the top of a highly competitive field, you're going to have a VERY difficult struggle ahead. To badly paraphrase a line I heard once: no matter how hard you sprint, you won't catch up to people who have been running since childhood. (Not to mention they don't have the added challenge of chronic illness, mental health struggles, etc.). I don't mean this to discourage you; just being realistic.

That said, there are still TONS of opportunities available at your age. There is still so much within reach for you. I think a good starting place would be to write your goals down, maybe in order of priority, and start thinking of how to achieve them. Ask for help. Research. When you have hopeless days, the ones where everything feels like too much, wait it out. Slow progress is still progress.

I really hope this doesn't sound preachy. Just know that, if there's something you still want to do in life, 24 is nowhere close to too late. Start now.

Thank you your response didn't come off preachy at all. It was really helpful

 

[vyvanceandvodka]

From your position, it's far too easy to catastrophize. You're looking at your life from a maximally zoomed-out, goal-oriented perspective, which couldn't possibly bode well for your nervous system. You're alive. That's more than enough.



Ignore society's standards of success. There is a part of you that wants to live. It's what spurred you to make this post. There's nothing unrealistic about that. Start at arm's length and focus on connection. Don't worry about having "a social life" right now. Just orient yourself around others. Local events, public libraries, restaurants, dating apps, whatever it may be, just take small steps towards connection--but, and this is crucial, without stakes. You don't have to form relationships. Where you're at, just consciously being around others is plenty.

You mentioned your autism and health issues. Those are labels, which others share or will be able to empathize with. They don't negate your humanity; they define and expand it.

You seem very goal-oriented, which is a powerful platform from which to start. But it's also what is causing you to remain passive. It's what is causing you to cling to safety. So alter the script. Stay clung to safety, but change your environment. Let go of the notions of success and failure. Life isn't merely a series of objectives to reach--that belief is a function of capitalist indoctrination--it is being able to exist without feeling the pressure to have to justify it.

Life is a gift on its own, and you are a gift on your own, so go out there and cherish yourself.

Thank you for this. I really needed to hear it.

 

[MatiSendiri]

I think the best quote I have is "things will get better, but it will not be same".

Take a breathe and relax OP, things will get better if you want it.

 

[instormdrains]

as long as you aren't dead there's always hope that things can be better its up to you what you want you future to look like. If youre scared to go out maybe try going out at night with less people wear a hoodie and face mask if you dont like being seen and try and work your way up from there. If u live in an unsafe place maybe don't do that tho

 

[Forever Sleep]

Have you looked into what support is available in your area? Whether there are recruitment agencies that help with getting people with autism into work? If that is a goal of yours.

None of us can really know what opportunities there are open to us till we start trying. There likely is hope I imagine but then, these things aren't always easy and, it can take quite a bit of perseverance and resilience to keep going through rejections and set backs along the way.

I imagine we all probably feel like we can't cope with that but then- we also have to consider what the alternative might feel like. If we don't try at all. Ultimately- we can't know what it will be like and how we'll cope- until we try.

It maybe depends also on how willing and able your family is to support you. Whether they are on at you over things and how well you can tolerate that.