Help Is there anyway to become asexual

[Razerx17]

Like I want to take meds and the side effects like low libido and emotional numbness are very much welcomed. I hate it, everytime i get an erection i want to take a razer blade and cut all off I HATE IT SO MUCH. I know i will not be with someone I've tried im tired. Can someone explain how meds feel like with romance and sexual atraction?

 

[Last_sunset]

Gaslight yourself into believing you are. Sorry if you've already tried I don't know any other way.

 

[quins]

I'm sure this is the worst possible course, and I don't think it should be trekked voluntarily (believe me, I've entertained the thought time and time again).

 

[davidtorez]

I remember when I was on amitriptyline it killed by libido. But you shouldn't take things like thay unless you need it

 

[NearlyIrrelevantCake]

That's not how sexuality works. This is like asking how to become gay if you're straight.

 

[quins]

That's not how sexuality works. This is like asking how to become gay if you're straight.

...but, these aren't the same? What it probably resembles is asking others how to become a "hypersexual", in which case replies along the lines of "wire yourself to pornography" wouldn't be a far off suggestion.

 

[Emerita]

Im sorry you feeling this way. While asexual isnt about libido I get what your trying to say.
Certain antidepressants, SSRIs, can lower sexual desire and arousal. Certain heart medications that can potentially lower sex drive include beta-blockers, diuretics, ACE inhibitors, and calcium channel blockers. Some antipsychotics can also have sexual effects. All these medications are not for the intention of inhibition or suppression of a person's sexuality though, they are not recommended for the use of that.

To answer your question (keep in mind Im not a man) when I did take my meds I felt numb to other people in a sexual and romantic way, but I kinda always feel that way but I would say it was just more overall numbness to that sort of thing oh and I couldn't orgasm. Also I would say dont consume stimulants this may increase what your trying to decrease sexually.

 

[Withered]

Lying to yourself and trying to change a fundamental constituent of yourself is categorically unhealthy.

 

[NearlyIrrelevantCake]

...but, these aren't the same? What it probably resembles is asking others how to become a "hypersexual", in which case replies along the lines of "wire yourself to pornography" wouldn't be a far off suggestion.

Asexuality is an inborn sexual orientation no different than being born bisexual, straight, etc. You can't make yourself asexual any more than you can become any other sexuality.

 

[quins]

Asexuality is an inborn sexual orientation no different than being born bisexual, straight, etc. You can't make yourself asexual any more than you can become any other sexuality.

Maybe I'm too old to understand how the "absence of sexual feeling while retaining abstract 'romantic' feeling" can be credibly thought of as a "sexual orientation", aside from the quaint phonaesthetics of the term "aroace", though maybe I just haven't been able to completely canvas all this new internet lingo. Anyway, I fear thinking about it more would lead to a boomer chimpout...

Then again, I am something of a "sapiosexual", which is a truly terrible condition, since straightness would then constitute a chastity cage.

 

[catfriend]

i think the OP is referring to abstinence. seconding SSRIs -- the one i'm on now makes me thoroughly disinterested in sexual activity of any sort. will probably have a positive effect on mood, too, as an added bonus. :)

 

[Razerx17]

i think the OP is referring to abstinence. seconding SSRIs -- the one i'm on now makes me thoroughly disinterested in sexual activity of any sort. will probably have a positive effect on mood, too, as an added bonus. :)

Great :) that sounds amazing. i think would live way better without this aspect of life.

 

[Ligottian]

I think it was Aristotle who essentialy became asexual in his old age. He called it "being released from the thrall of a cruel and savage master".

 

[Bad Ending]

You don't want that, believe me...

 

[locked*n*loaded]

Idk. Give yourself pain of some sort each time you get an erection so that a "negative reinforcement" is made between the erection and pain?

 

[Razerx17]

You don't want that, believe me...

why ?

 

[peanutsandjelly]

Yes, start taking an SSRI. Guaranteed to make you borderline asexual.

I'm so much more productive because of antidepressants. I've also lost partners from not showing enough physical affection because of antidepressants. Haha...

 

[cemeteryismyhome]

Like I want to take meds and the side effects like low libido and emotional numbness are very much welcomed. I hate it, everytime i get an erection i want to take a razer blade and cut all off I HATE IT SO MUCH. I know i will not be with someone I've tried im tired. Can someone explain how meds feel like with romance and sexual atraction?

For me, surviving past the age of 50 pretty well took care of all of that, plus a wife who hates me. Not making fun of your situation, sorry. I think a lot of it has to do with mental and emotional state, and you sound like you might already be on your way.

 

[evanescent_eva]

Hi, I'm an asexual person, and I feel uncomfortable

I'm usually pretty reserved, but I feel like I need to speak up here. Frankly, if there was a sasu thread entitled "Is there any way to become gay?" with the first response being "gaslight yourself into being gay", the thread would've been shut down a long time ago. But since the thread is here, I feel like at least one ace person needs to critique it while it remains up.

There seem to be two main camps in this thread (not everyone who posted falls into them, but enough of you seem to). One camp seems to believe that asexuality either isn't real, or is synonymous with a transient loss of libido. The other camp seems to insist that asexuality is fundamentally and irrevocably something you're born with, completely impervious to any changes caused by / influenced by other internal or external circumstances that may occur over time.

The former camp is just...like, friends, read a fucking study or three. We exist, and our experiences are valid. As for characterizing the sum total of our experiences as comparable to a transient loss of libido, like, visit the Asexuality Visibility and Education Network, or if you're feeling lazy, just check out this handy dandy breakdown of the differences between sexual attraction, sexual arousal, sex drive, and sexual desire (@Emerita alluded to these distinctions above ). Asexuality is an orientation characterized by low or absent sexual attraction, not a transient decrease in sexual arousal caused by taking an SSRI when it's not medically necessary. Or maybe, if that's all too much reading, look at this screenshot of a search into the archives of AVEN:



And for those who are curious, the same result occurs for antidepressants. But don't take my word for it - you can search yourselves!

The latter camp - the one that characterizes asexuality as something you're born with that cannot change - describes the experiences of many asexual folks, but most certainly not all. Whether you read Ace by Angela Chen, or browse random threads on AVEN (cw for this last link: abuse), you will find plenty of people who aren't sure about where their asexuality ends and where their disability begins, or where their history of abuse begins, or where any number of other factors begins. Additionally, due to the combinations of compulsory sexuality and compulsory heterosexuality, ace people are under infinitely more pressure not to experience their sexuality fluidly, lest all of their forms of sexual expression be degraded as "fake" or as "phases". But sexuality can be fluid for ace people (see p. 6), just like it can be for allo people. It's just....the totalizing language used in this thread is not pleasant to read.

If you feel like you posted on this thread and don't fall into either of these camps, I'd *love* to hear from you! Please clarify your positions and make it feel safer to be ace on this forum. And to be clear, if you are ace and posted on or reacted to this thread, you are just as ace as you were before, even if I think your post was wrong or incomplete. And to the other ace folks who felt as uncomfortable as I did reading this thread, well, you're not alone. Or maybe it's just me.

 

[Bad Ending]

why ?

It can be permanent, even if you stop taking those meds

 

[bankai]

Yes, I think there's something called chemical castration. And I also think they that you can undo it, but it wreaks havoc on you, I think.It's not good for you hormonally. Obviously you're interfering with the normal process. So I'm not sure what will happen to mood etcetera. From what looked little I looked into it, it's not that good. But if it's really an issue you could have a look I guess.

 

[Forveleth]

Hi, I'm an asexual person, and I feel uncomfortable

I'm usually pretty reserved, but I feel like I need to speak up here. Frankly, if there was a sasu thread entitled "Is there any way to become gay?" with the first response being "gaslight yourself into being gay", the thread would've been shut down a long time ago. But since the thread is here, I feel like at least one ace person needs to critique it while it remains up.

There seem to be two main camps in this thread (not everyone who posted falls into them, but enough of you seem to). One camp seems to believe that asexuality either isn't real, or is synonymous with a transient loss of libido. The other camp seems to insist that asexuality is fundamentally and irrevocably something you're born with, completely impervious to any changes caused by / influenced by other internal or external circumstances that may occur over time.

The former camp is just...like, friends, read a fucking study or three. We exist, and our experiences are valid. As for characterizing the sum total of our experiences as comparable to a transient loss of libido, like, visit the Asexuality Visibility and Education Network, or if you're feeling lazy, just check out this handy dandy breakdown of the differences between sexual attraction, sexual arousal, sex drive, and sexual desire (@Emerita alluded to these distinctions above ). Asexuality is an orientation characterized by low or absent sexual attraction, not a transient decrease in sexual arousal caused by taking an SSRI when it's not medically necessary. Or maybe, if that's all too much reading, look at this screenshot of a search into the archives of AVEN:

View attachment 168052

And for those who are curious, the same result occurs for antidepressants. But don't take my word for it - you can search yourselves!

The latter camp - the one that characterizes asexuality as something you're born with that cannot change - describes the experiences of many asexual folks, but most certainly not all. Whether you read Ace by Angela Chen, or browse random threads on AVEN (cw for this last link: abuse), you will find plenty of people who aren't sure about where their asexuality ends and where their disability begins, or where their history of abuse begins, or where any number of other factors begins. Additionally, due to the combinations of compulsory sexuality and compulsory heterosexuality, ace people are under infinitely more pressure not to experience their sexuality fluidly, lest all of their forms of sexual expression be degraded as "fake" or as "phases". But sexuality can be fluid for ace people (see p. 6), just like it can be for allo people. It's just....the totalizing language used in this thread is not pleasant to read.

If you feel like you posted on this thread and don't fall into either of these camps, I'd *love* to hear from you! Please clarify your positions and make it feel safer to be ace on this forum. And to be clear, if you are ace and posted on or reacted to this thread, you are just as ace as you were before, even if I think your post was wrong or incomplete. And to the other ace folks who felt as uncomfortable as I did reading this thread, well, you're not alone. Or maybe it's just me.

THANK YOU! Was waiting for an actual ace person to chime in about the ridiculousness of this thread.

i think the OP is referring to abstinence. seconding SSRIs -- the one i'm on now makes me thoroughly disinterested in sexual activity of any sort. will probably have a positive effect on mood, too, as an added bonus. :)

All the SSRIs I took had side effects that were worse than my depression. They also did not take away my libido, just my ability to orgasm which left me incredibly sexually frustrated.

 

[Carrot]

I'm not sure how you got 0 results for SSRI, I got 126. ssri (small letters, ssri, also gives 126)

Showing results for 'SSRI'. - Asexual Visibility and Education Network

www.asexuality.org

I'm not saying anything about whether SSRIs do or don't do something, just pointing out that there this term does appear in discussions on that forum.

 

[onmywaytothebusstop]

Take testosterone blockers