Discussion Is there anything you want to do before you CTB?

[RiftbornVeil]

I've always wanted to learn basic ASL/sign language, see the Northern Lights, and go to a rave.

Sign language comes from my inability to speak sometimes. Using gestures and motions is somewhat of a comfort to me, and I would like to try learning it.

The Northern Lights wish comes from a habit of mine. I often sit on my roof and just watch the night sky. Seeing something other than an inky black would be interesting. I remember seeing the Aurora Borealis in an encyclopedia many years ago; it just stood out to me then.

The rave comes from my desire to spend a light thoroughly without expectations. I've been to dances before, and they feel somewhat liberating, and even carefree. Doing that one last time to the greatest extremity (while staying safe) would be my last wish.

 

[Spite]

see the Northern Lights

Same! I clicked on this thread and I was going to post this as it was the first thing that sprung to my mind, and then I saw you mentioned it as well. I definitely want to see the northern lights once in my life. I also want to visit a cold country during winter (maybe Canada or somewhere in northern Europe) before I die.

 

[RiftbornVeil]

Same! I clicked on this thread and I was going to post this as it was the first thing that sprung to my mind, and then I saw you mentioned it as well. I definitely want to see the northern lights once in my life. I also want to visit a cold country during winter (maybe Canada or somewhere in northern Europe) before I die.

I've actually seen the Northern Lights mentioned elsewhere on SaSu as well. I wonder what makes it so appealing to us overall.

I agree with your second point too! To see the Lights, I'm considering Norway or Switzerland.

 

[Dinozauria]

There's not much I want to do nowadays (other then clean my room, leave notes, etc). Though, I did want to become a bit of a nomad awhile back. Mainly to see if that was an option for my life before I settle on CTB

 

[bakenohana]

mine is a bit silly but I've been insanely attached to a character for the past almost 4 years. in the game they're from theres dedicated events for characters which you can rank/tier. before i ctb i really wanna high tier for her events coming this year

 

[l1ablemistakes]

I've been writing the same book for nearly 9 years. Been through so many drafts and changes. I'd love to publish it. I've showed a friend and she is obsessed with it, I'd feel bad if I died before I ever published it.

 

[RiftbornVeil]

I've been writing the same book for nearly 9 years. Been through so many drafts and changes. I'd love to publish it. I've showed a friend and she is obsessed with it, I'd feel bad if I died before I ever published it.

That's so neat. I hope you are able to publish it one day, words have so much power.

mine is a bit silly but I've been insanely attached to a character for the past almost 4 years. in the game they're from theres dedicated events for characters which you can rank/tier. before i ctb i really wanna high tier for her events coming this year

Not silly at all! I'm actually the same way. Wishing you the best of luck in gaming :)

 

[Nikolai Gogol]

Nothing. I see no meaning in any action and I desire to do absolutely nothing. It is sad but I want to do as little as possible and die as miserable as I can truly be. Even typing this out is so much effort to me. Hopefully someone understands.

 

[RiftbornVeil]

Nothing. I see no meaning in any action and I desire to do absolutely nothing. It is sad but I want to do as little as possible and die as miserable as I can truly be. Even typing this out is so much effort to me. Hopefully someone understands.

The way I see it, doing nothing is still something, it shows how exhausted you must be. I understand how it takes so much effort to reply to people, SaSu is the most active I've been socially.

I hope you find peace, through whatever choice you make.

 

[DeadManLiving]

See a penguin

 

[Tired_birth_1967]

Nothing. I see no meaning in any action and I desire to do absolutely nothing. It is sad but I want to do as little as possible and die as miserable as I can truly be. Even typing this out is so much effort to me. Hopefully someone understands.

After six decades, I've seen enough to know that nothing here is worthwhile. For every image that seems beautiful to my eyes, my brain automatically brings to mind all sorts of grotesque things that life has produced since its inception. But I wasn't always like this; time took care of showing me that. There are people who manage to find some pleasure in these images for a long time, perhaps even in their last days. Enjoy that.

 

[egyptian_baddie]

leave the country and have a hug

 

[GodzillasBiggestFan]

act in a few more plays and thats pretty much it. i will be in a short play that's being written by someone i care for a lot. i want to at least live long enough to perform that. my childhood dream role, i may get the chance to audition for that after but i dont know. that performance isn't until much longer.

I've always wanted to learn basic ASL/sign language, see the Northern Lights, and go to a rave.

Sign language comes from my inability to speak sometimes. Using gestures and motions is somewhat of a comfort to me, and I would like to try learning it.

i also struggle to speak sometimes and that was my main reason for becoming fluent in ASL. if your able to take a class in asl i reccomend that getting a teachers feedback is always best. but if u cant or if thats too much for you which for me it often was there's some good videos on youtube too. i recomend bill viccars videos. he also has a website where you can look up specific signs you want to learn.

 

[qwert3948]

I want to write a comic or a book. or just make a really good piece of art, whatever it is.
and i want to finish my whole steam library..

 

[walliwalli]

i don't think i will actually go out of my way to do anything special but i think making it to a beach one last time could be nice. i also dream about traveling and living luxuriously until all my money runs out then CTBing, but i don't think i could do so without family becoming suspicious.

 

[Macedonian1987]

Since I know that i will ctb in half a year, I'm rapidly spending my life savings, trying expensive whiskies and expensive exotic food, sea-food too. I eat at expensive elite restaurants. I'm also getting massages and if it weren't for my multi-joint chronic pain I would have paid for a few dates with an attractive women.

 

[SASU-KE]

It was my intention initially to travel a bit but now I'm not even interested in that.

 

[T22222222]

Nothing. I see no meaning in any action and I desire to do absolutely nothing. It is sad but I want to do as little as possible and die as miserable as I can truly be. Even typing this out is so much effort to me. Hopefully someone understands.

i understand it. my SI is the only thing standing in between me ending it all haha

 

[RiftbornVeil]

act in a few more plays and thats pretty much it. i will be in a short play that's being written by someone i care for a lot. i want to at least live long enough to perform that. my childhood dream role, i may get the chance to audition for that after but i dont know. that performance isn't until much longer.


i also struggle to speak sometimes and that was my main reason for becoming fluent in ASL. if your able to take a class in asl i reccomend that getting a teachers feedback is always best. but if u cant or if thats too much for you which for me it often was there's some good videos on youtube too. i recomend bill viccars videos. he also has a website where you can look up specific signs you want to learn.

Thank you so much for the suggestions and advice! I checked out his channel and it looks so helpful.

I hope your performance goes brilliantly <3

 

[FuneralCry]

No, all I want is to cease existing and never suffer again, if it's up to me I'd choose to erase this dreadful, tortuous existence so it's like I've never suffered at all, I'll just always see it as an abomination to exist and for me every second is torture to be conscious.

I just want peace from the terrible, tortuous burden of existence that just causes harm and suffering with no limit as to how much one can be tortured, to me existence will just always be the most cruel mistake, this existence never should had been imposed, simply just existing is enough to make me wish for true peace from this horrific, dreadful world where existing beings are in agony every second. I'll only be glad to cease existing, for me ceasing to exist would be the positive solution to find peace from the suffering and torture of existing, I find it horrific how a human can be tortured in this existence for decades longer just to face the agony of old age, to me it'll always be the most terrible, undeserved punishment to exist.

 

[violetforever]

i talked to the last person i wanted to. that was all i needed. theres nothing more to do.

 

[hastolith]

I don't have something particular in mind that I want to do before CTB as of now. There's thing I can do before, but not doing them would not be a problem if I we're actively trying to CTB (watching my favorite series for exemple or having a last taste of ice cream).

 

[Echo]

Since I know that i will ctb in half a year, I'm rapidly spending my life savings, trying expensive whiskies and expensive exotic food, sea-food too. I eat at expensive elite restaurants. I'm also getting massages and if it weren't for my multi-joint chronic pain I would have paid for a few dates with an attractive women.

I've been thinking about doing this too but probably will do it just before it time to ctb. I worry if I spend everything too early some unexpected expense will come up and then I wont be able to afford it.

 

[GodzillasBiggestFan]

Thank you so much for the suggestions and advice! I checked out his channel and it looks so helpful.

I hope your performance goes brilliantly <3

bill viccars has a lot of videos plus his website so you can learn a lot. i'm fluent (or was before i stopped working as hard to learn it) so i dont have to look up signs as often as i used to, but anytime i do his site or channel are really good for it.

thank you so much. i love theatre, its the only thing i get excited/happy about anymore and getting to act in something my best friend will write is such an honor. they're a really good writer too, and though i havent worked with the director before, i have seen things she's directed and she's really good especially with comedy.

 

[jojobanana]

This sounds really silly and I'm not a good writer so I know it will never happen. I wish I could find a way to document/express my reasons for CTB in a way that will help people understand why we choose this. I want my death to mean something especially for those who have thought about CTB for a long time but are frustrated about general attitudes towards it. I wish I was creative or had the skills to be able to express this well.

 

[chaewon]

Nothing. I see no meaning in any action and I desire to do absolutely nothing. It is sad but I want to do as little as possible and die as miserable as I can truly be. Even typing this out is so much effort to me. Hopefully someone understands.

Same

 

[RiftbornVeil]

bill viccars has a lot of videos plus his website so you can learn a lot. i'm fluent (or was before i stopped working as hard to learn it) so i dont have to look up signs as often as i used to, but anytime i do his site or channel are really good for it.

thank you so much. i love theatre, its the only thing i get excited/happy about anymore and getting to act in something my best friend will write is such an honor. they're a really good writer too, and though i havent worked with the director before, i have seen things she's directed and she's really good especially with comedy.

I've often wanted to communicate but I have been unable to do so simply with words. If I could, I would prefer to be mute; words for grand and simple things are difficult (as in, I find that it's hard to give ample descriptions to things with just words). You're right, his channel is a wonderful resource for it. Thank you.

Wow, I completely understand your fascination with theatre; I am currently in a theatre course. It sounds like a very special performance and meaningful act.

 

[BadVibes]

I want to get as good at drawing as I possibly can. I force myself to draw (even just a sketchy doodle) at least once per day, and I've definitely shown improvement. I also started going to the gym because I want to morph my body into the best possible vessel I can before I end my time on this world. (probably won't change much given the time frame I have but at least it's something, and something is always better than nothing)
It's kind of weird to actually focus on developing skills before you die (what's the point of getting them if you're not gonna get to use them?). But for me... I know she's waiting for me on the other side, and I want to be the best version of myself for her.

act in a few more plays and thats pretty much it. i will be in a short play that's being written by someone i care for a lot. i want to at least live long enough to perform that. my childhood dream role, i may get the chance to audition for that after but i dont know. that performance isn't until much longer.

This is definitely the sweetest response I've seen so far. Thank you for this

 

[narval]

Not really. At this point, only things i've to do are things that would "save" me. I mean... i don't have any to do here (besides the stuff which would save my life).

I could die tomorrow in peace.

with that said, giving to my sister the keys to my storage unit would be fine.
I don't really trust in my family (including my sister), but if there's someone who wouldn't screw it all, is she.

 

[Nightingale93]

Probably have a girlfriend, even for a day. But that's not going to happen anytime soon.