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pthnrdnojvsc

pthnrdnojvsc

Extreme Pain is much worse than people know
Aug 12, 2019
3,265
There is nothing that will make me no longer suicidal. My Suicide asap is my only rational goal and will be forever

I have reasons on top of reasons
 
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Valhala

Valhala

Arcanist
Jul 30, 2024
444
If she, the only woman I ever really loved, would come back to me and if they were together again, my life would have meaning again.
 
U

unknown_xav

Member
Dec 3, 2024
88
I do not think there is, but maybe if I had no obligations and perhaps was born free to explore the world whilst living somewhat life as semi-recluse I would delay it. Otherwise I do not see any reason that could change the inevitable given life as it is, is not my own rather I will always be obliged to social duties, and experience all the pain both social, and bodily that comes with the human condition.
 
B

binkie

Member
Oct 15, 2023
27
Right now just not living with my family would help a lot. I used to live over a thousand miles away and moved out when I was just 14. Now I'm back in their house because I have no where else to go. I've gone back in the closet and stripped myself of any personality to fit better into what I assume they want me to be. I'm an adult but I feel like a child again. I don't know why I can't talk to my mom without making her upset. She kicks me and hits me occasionally, but I can't do anything in return or I'm abusive and she threatens to call the cops and kick me out. I miss being estranged. At least I had some control over my life.
 
  • Aww..
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SVEN

SVEN

I Wish I'd Been a Jester Too.
Apr 3, 2023
2,478
Death would do it.
 
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lawlietsph

lawlietsph

can we be done here
May 6, 2023
250
Being extremely rich.
 
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V

VaporSelf

Member
Nov 17, 2024
10
god this is shallow.. but money and lots of it? Sure, i'd stick around for another decade or two.
 
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LossOfPlan

LossOfPlan

Member
Feb 16, 2023
9
This is going to sound very idealistic but if the world developed more empathy instead of immediate judgement. I think, if the systems weren't against me and people actually gave a shit, a lot of things would have been different.
 
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Z-A

Z-A

Let me go
Mar 3, 2024
349
Money, everything else comes later.
 
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C

CogitoMori

I won't be on as much as usual. Less alone time
Oct 21, 2024
407
If the only person that ever made me feel like a human being would talk to me, or at least tell me what I did wrong.
 
D

dimgobaith

Student
Jun 17, 2024
118
Yes, there's one thing but it's a thing that will sadly never happen
 
shouldbedirt

shouldbedirt

Member
Jun 5, 2024
17
A lot of money might extend my life, but probably not save it. I'd like to live comfortably and provide for the ones I care about, even if just for a little while.
 
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soledad.virgen

soledad.virgen

call me sol
Dec 1, 2020
134
being forgiven and held by my favorite person
 
ShatteredSerenity

ShatteredSerenity

I talk to God, but the sky is empty.
Nov 24, 2024
676
I'd need a magic potion to fix my brain, it's been too damaged by decades of mental illness and stress to feel hope.

If my wife would love and support me again I wouldn't commit suicide, although I still would be suicidal unless my brain was magically fixed too.

If I got tons of money I'd just pass it on to my children. Money is no match for the pain I'm suffering.
 
Last edited:
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Gstreater

Gstreater

Student
Aug 10, 2024
154
I don't think so. Anything that happens now will only hasten my date to ctb. I have given up on myself being happy ever.
 
divinemistress36

divinemistress36

Angelic
Jan 1, 2024
4,341
A healthy brain
 
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belly.up4good

belly.up4good

Member
Dec 10, 2024
44
I deal with maladaptive daydreaming. AKA I am daydreaming almost constantly regardless of consequences, usually spacing or sometimes (in a minor way) acting out the daydreams. This is the one thing that keeps me from doing some really stupid and ineffective CTB method out of impulse, because even if real life sucks, I can always retreat inwards.

At one point I thought if my daydreams were real (or my daydream-self was real), I'd never be suicidal, but I've noticed that a good chunk of my daydreams anymore involve killing myself (and when not, it's usually there in a fastasy, immortal, not-really-dead-forever way), so...that's a bust I guess.

I also considered before if I won the lottery somehow I might be less suicidal, but it's been background noise in my brain for so long I'm not sure it's a thing that would ever just go away, no matter how "good" I had it.
i think if everyone just treated me like a human, just maybe.
 
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C

commongardensnailll

Member
Nov 20, 2024
50
if I could go back in time just for a couple months.
If I didn't take up the position and end up having to file for workers comp
 
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Reactions: Forveleth
F

Forveleth

I knew I forgot to do something when I was 15...
Mar 26, 2024
1,738
Nah I'm done. Life has sucked up until now and even if someone told me it was going to get better I just don't give a shit anymore. I'm tired of existing.
 
PI3.14

PI3.14

Will be back, perhaps, on Sep 1st 2026
Oct 4, 2024
99
Within the set of things I can obtain? No, absolutely not. My issues are a bit complex and I don't have a solution for them(an obtainable one at least)
 
OptingOutSmiling

OptingOutSmiling

Wizard
Nov 25, 2024
663
more than one big mistake I'd need to undo, but I concur.
I've found that the first step is to own up to it. And learn for if there is a next time. If there is hope, and we believe, maybe the universe will give us a chance. All the best :hug:
 
katara

katara

tired all the time
Mar 17, 2022
214
This is going to sound very idealistic but if the world developed more empathy instead of immediate judgement. I think, if the systems weren't against me and people actually gave a shit, a lot of things would have been different.
This is one of the reasons I ended up here. I've encountered so many ppl with zero empathy and it made me think I'm an alien on this planet
 
S

SA1994EC

Member
Jan 28, 2021
230
Absolutely nothing. For those who still have hopes in lives, I wish the best for them.
 
Last edited:
ForgottenAgain

ForgottenAgain

On the rollercoaster of sadness
Oct 17, 2023
1,146
A healthy brain. I fixed my whole life the best I could, some things are good but I can't feel anything from them besides sadness. Saw two psychologists and they concurred with me that, if I won the lottery, I'd still be depressed.

I think that is true but I'd still like to win that much money and figure out for myself. Maybe I could pay a lot of money to some neurologist to fix me, I don't know.

I've improved all the things I have control over in my life, worked so hard. I'm just incapable of being content.
 
avoid_slow_death

avoid_slow_death

Ready to embrace the peaceful bliss of the void.
Feb 4, 2020
1,358
At this point? Death.
 

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