Discussion Is there anything that would make you not want to CTB?

[VerbalWinter]

For me, something that would make me not want to CTB is being financially stable and independent and/or having a good family to rely on. I know this may be something common, but coming from a family who abandoned the first chance they got and hated me for no reason (you may think I'm exaggerating, but no, they literally hate me for no reason that makes sense in my mind) and potentially becoming homeless in Feburary, I wish nothing to have had a good family that would support me when I need assistance. It sucks seeing other people with good families and home lives, I don't get jealous of them, because I've never been the envious type, but I just wish in those moments that I had what they had or something similar. I sometimes think if I died today, that no one would show up to my funeral, that's if I would even be able have one to begin with.

 

[Crazy4u]

no but having better circumstances may delay the decision to CTB. It is like I'm standing on a mountain cliff and problems are pushing me slowly closer to the end of the cliff. The bigger the problems, the more powerful the push.

 

[Pen>Sword]

Winning lottery and become instant multimillionaire in my mid-20s.

 

[VerbalWinter]

Winning lottery and become instant multimillionaire in my mid-20s.

I'm sure those circumstances would delay atleast most of us from CTB haha

 

[BeansOfRequirement]

A mission or something, nothing too long-term.

 

[Pen>Sword]

I'm sure those circumstances would delay atleast most of us from CTB haha

I'm sure too, but it's a silver bullet to me. Haha

 

[Hirokami]

If someone waved a magic wand and got rid of my crippling anxiety and depression, then maybe. And also getting rid of all the bullshit drama that happens daily in my life would also help.

 

[DoodleBug]

A sense of any purpose at all.

As much as I would like to deny it, a soulmate or a so is also something that would maybe patch up the holes into the void xd

If someone waved a magic wand and got rid of my crippling anxiety and depression, then maybe. And also getting rid of all the bullshit drama that happens daily in my life would also help.

This, this.

 

[demuic]

No, there's nothing. I never have wanted to be alive and never will. I'll CTB no matter what, unless I end up killed in a random accident or murder, it's just a matter of when.

 

[Suicidebydeath]

True love and recovery(diagnosis + medication + ?therapy?) are the only two possible things. Had bad experiences with abusive guys in therapy.

 

[markimobzzdeasui]

Nope. At this point, practically nothing is there.Some serious Harry potter or Doctor strange type magics have to happen for me to not ctb. And that too a lot in number.

 

[eternalmelancholy]

I was actually thinking about this the other day. I just want to stop existing. Even if I had the choice of being reborn with perfect genetics to perfect parents, I would still opt out. Existence is simply too tiring even at the best of times. Plus the looming dread of death is not worth it.

 

[LingeringUnreal]

Completely different past/family/life circumstances mostly. Or some impossible "starting over" scenario where someone gives me 2 million and drops me in a random location

 

[Made4TV]

Money for therapy/treatment for my disorder

 

[NormaJeane]

Are there more disadvantages than advantages in my future and will the rest of my life only be meaningless suffering, I think one must consider.

 

[TheHatedOne]

In the past it could've been a decent person by my side to remain or financial stability. But at this point nothing anymore that could make me say "no".

 

[Justsogone]

I have no doubt, being financially stable

 

[chaosSource]

Nothing really. I would still be stuck in this life with the same past. I would still be me and honestly I despise me. So much. I want to get rid of this experience in this body.

 

[ClownMe]

I really don't think there's anything, life is just so pointless in my mind, I could be the world's wealthiest man and id still want to die.

 

[scaredycat84]

A cure for my H addiction. I think thats the main anchor weighing me down. That and severe depression, anxiety, boughts of mainia, self harming and CPTSD. But i try not to think about all that stuff.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

#1 would be a girlfriend who I could see myself being with for the rest of my life meaning she's both perfect for me and I'm somehow perfect for her as well. This is extremely improbable but if I can be deluded long enough to believe it's true love and if she doesn't die or leave me then I'll probably never have any reason to want to kill myself ever again but at the cost of me going on to only become stronger at generating overall suffering in the world.

I guess another way I might consider canceling my CTB would be if I got a very nice career at a dream company of mine. At least that way I could feel some purpose/confidence and maybe the ladies would actually like me enough for the other scenario to become possible. This is also rather unlikely though since I have become so burnt out that I don't really want to do any work for anything and I have practically no skills that I can offer or even want to learn that would get me hired by anyone let alone my dream companies.

 

[electrojellysoup]

I would like to have a special person. Just one. It doesn't even have to be romantic, although that's usually the expectation with this kind of relationship. Someone who is my number one and for whom I am number one. Someone who I can share everything with and who shares everything with me.

 

[Noctis]

No. Through my choices, actions, and inaction, I've created my own prison. Short of magically being put in my body from 20 years ago, there is no way to fix what I've made my life to be.

A cure for my H addiction. I think thats the main anchor weighing me down. That and severe depression, anxiety, boughts of mainia, self harming and CPTSD. But i try not to think about all that stuff.

I've gone though opioid addiction before. Getting clean was unquestionably the hardest thing I've ever done. I don't envy you, friend. Best of luck.

 

[4eyebiped]

Money could make things comfortable for a while and open doors to endless exploration. The other option is discovery a great talent or skillset that lets me get lost in creating or discovering things. The preferred and grandest option that would make me want to stick around longer is a great companion. Women are such delightful and wondrous creatures.

 

[Snake of Eden]

Be with the someone I want and them wanting to be with me or be the someone I want but both are impossible

 

[Beer]

Winning lottery and become instant multimillionaire in my mid-20s.

If I became a millionaire it would literally change nothing about my situation, I'd still want to badly ctb

 

[GOODHI]

no

 

[Z-bar]

If I was well off and could just spend my days traveling the globe exploring different cultures and making people happy I wouldn't consider ctb as an option.

Being honest, I really need love in my life. If I was in a relationship with someone that cared as much and loved as hard as I give in return I can't help but feel like suicide wouldnt even be on the table, maybe indefinitely.

 

[absoluteanimal1]

If I could be magically thin, it would change everything for me. Also a good job that I enjoy would help immensely.

 

[DunnoWhyButYeah]

Hmm... Yes.