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L

Lena

Experienced
Sep 26, 2018
280
is there anything someone could do or say to change your mind?

For me I'm not sure if there's a way out because I'm so sick. But if I had a family that loved me and understood and really cared to help me through... I would have had a better chance.
 
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D

Deleted member 1768

Enlightened
Aug 15, 2018
1,107
No.
is there anything someone could do or say to change your mind?

For me I'm not sure if there's a way out because I'm so sick. But if I had a family that loved me and understood and really cared to help me through... I would have had a better chance.
 
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D

Deleted member 1768

Enlightened
Aug 15, 2018
1,107
is there anything someone could do or say to change your mind?

For me I'm not sure if there's a way out because I'm so sick. But if I had a family that loved me and understood and really cared to help me through... I would have had a better chance.
I am so sorry Lena. I know how terrible it can be to have no one behind you.
is there anything someone could do or say to change your mind?

For me I'm not sure if there's a way out because I'm so sick. But if I had a family that loved me and understood and really cared to help me through... I would have had a better chance.
I am so sorry Lena. I know what it is like to have no one behind you.
 
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Lizzie S.

Lizzie S.

Experienced
Sep 2, 2018
258
If my body wasn't messed up physically I might not be suicidal. I can't stand living in a body that feels so horrible
 
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L

Lena

Experienced
Sep 26, 2018
280
I am so sorry Lena. I know how terrible it can be to have no one behind you.

I am so sorry Lena. I know what it is like to have no one behind you.
I'm sorry that you understand what it's like. I really am.
 
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Mr2005

Mr2005

Don't shoot the messenger, give me the gun
Sep 25, 2018
3,621
Someone finds a time machine or a memory wiping device or gives me enough compensation that I can afford to live miserably alone
 
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AndyCurious

AndyCurious

Warlock
Sep 13, 2018
707
Being loved unconditionally, may have stopped me for wanting to ctb, but in my condition, it may be the best for me to just ctb in silence...
 
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Rocky M

Rocky M

I'm A Monster
Jun 20, 2018
213
Maybe. There's only one person who has any chance of stopping me, but she wants nothing to do with me. However it was my fault she left, so I don't blame her for not wanting to talk anymore. It would be nice if we could have one last conversation before I ctb though. I won't tell her what I'm doing, I just wanna talk.

I miss her terribly…
 
Last edited:
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L

Lena

Experienced
Sep 26, 2018
280
Being loved unconditionally, may have stopped me for wanting to ctb, but in my condition, it may be the best for me to just ctb in silence...
I know exactly how you feel.
 
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L

Lena

Experienced
Sep 26, 2018
280
Yes, but this particular person wants nothing to do with me. However it was my fault she left, so I don't blame her for not wanting to talk anymore. I miss her terribly though…
I'm so sorry. I know what it's like to sabotage something. You must feel horrible.
 
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Rocky M

Rocky M

I'm A Monster
Jun 20, 2018
213
I'm so sorry. I know what it's like to sabotage something. You must feel horrible.
Yeah, but it's alright. I really didn't deserve her as a friend. I wish only the best for her

If you don't mind me asking, what's your story? (if you're comfortable with sharing, Of course)
 
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Dog Food

Dog Food

POS
Mar 27, 2018
143
I don't think there's anything anyone could do. I've had all the advantages in life, and still I've been suicidal since I was 12, and depressed for as long as I can remember. If someone gave me a bunch of money, I'd probably push back my date of suicide, but I'd still do it.
 
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L

Lena

Experienced
Sep 26, 2018
280
Yeah, but it's alright. I really didn't deserve her as a friend. I wish only the best for her

If you don't mind me asking, what's your story? (if you're comfortable with sharing, Of course)
Hey I will share it here. I don't have time to type it out at the moment. I'll come back soon
 
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D

Deleted member 1768

Enlightened
Aug 15, 2018
1,107
I'm sorry that you understand what it's like. I really am.
I know Lena. I think there are a number of people here without familial support. Family know your history, and can help when things go wrong...if they so choose. No family? The vagaries of fate take over, and you are left swinging in the wind.
 
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D

Deleted member 1768

Enlightened
Aug 15, 2018
1,107
If my body wasn't messed up physically I might not be suicidal. I can't stand living in a body that feels so horrible
What is the problem hon.? I have a number of interesting issues...
 
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Lizzie S.

Lizzie S.

Experienced
Sep 2, 2018
258
What is the problem hon.? I have a number of interesting issues...

It's from failing from overdosing on heroin I think, a lot of symptoms similar to cfs. I'm tired all the time, can barely even eat. My whole body is achy and sneeze and cough a lot (i got pneumonia from the od). Im sorry to hear :( What about you? :(
 
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D

Deleted member 1768

Enlightened
Aug 15, 2018
1,107
It's from failing from overdosing on heroin I think, a lot of symptoms similar to cfs. I'm tired all the time, can barely even eat. My whole body is achy and sneeze and cough a lot (i got pneumonia from the od). Im sorry to hear :( What about you? :(
That is horrific Lizzie. I am sorry. How long since you OD'd? I was born with epilepsy, and hypoglycemia. I now have a critical area of stenosis of the abdominal aorta, due to a severe and deliberate injury caused by a very sadistic doctor. I have had a stroke, several TIAs, minor heart attack, and am rapidly growing blind. Oh yea I had lung cancer and the surgery worked, but there is permanent nerve damage in the damaged lung...walking is often difficult due to clotting, which is due to stenosis...I could go on...smile.
 
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C

Circles

Visionary
Sep 3, 2018
2,297
Well if all this pointless suffering would stop that'd be nice.
 
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L

Lena

Experienced
Sep 26, 2018
280
It's from failing from overdosing on heroin I think, a lot of symptoms similar to cfs. I'm tired all the time, can barely even eat. My whole body is achy and sneeze and cough a lot (i got pneumonia from the od). Im sorry to hear :( What about you? :(

Lizzie omg? Purple smoothie? I'm lenainthedark
 
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L

Lena

Experienced
Sep 26, 2018
280
That is horrific Lizzie. I am sorry. How long since you OD'd? I was born with epilepsy, and hypoglycemia. I now have a critical area of stenosis of the abdominal aorta, due to a severe and deliberate injury caused by a very sadistic doctor. I have had a stroke, several TIAs, minor heart attack, and am rapidly growing blind. Oh yea I had lung cancer and the surgery worked, but there is permanent nerve damage in the damaged lung...walking is often difficult due to clotting, which is due to stenosis...I could go on...smile.
Holy shit
 
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Lizzie S.

Lizzie S.

Experienced
Sep 2, 2018
258
That is horrific Lizzie. I am sorry. How long since you OD'd? I was born with epilepsy, and hypoglycemia. I now have a critical area of stenosis of the abdominal aorta, due to a severe and deliberate injury caused by a very sadistic doctor. I have had a stroke, several TIAs, minor heart attack, and am rapidly growing blind. Oh yea I had lung cancer and the surgery worked, but there is permanent nerve damage in the damaged lung...walking is often difficult due to clotting, which is due to stenosis...I could go on...smile.

That sounds horrible poof... I'm sorry for everything you've had to go through :( I wish we could become androids and not have to deal with physical problems any more tbh.... it's been a year and a half since. It's so wrong that people have to suffer like this...
 
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D

Deleted member 1768

Enlightened
Aug 15, 2018
1,107
That sounds horrible poof... I'm sorry for everything you've had to go through :( I wish we could become androids and not have to deal with physical problems any more tbh.... it's been a year and a half since. It's so wrong that people have to suffer like this...
Agreed, but life is what it is. I concluded when I was 7 that an alternate existence occurred beyond the one we are living, and every decision we make, everything that happens to us happens differently in that dimension. For me it was all better on another plain, and that made my existence far easier...smile.
 
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C

CJM

Experienced
Jul 13, 2018
246
Nope. The only person that could stop or manage dark thoughts is myself. Don't need or want the help. It's my battle.
 
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Trashcan

Trashcan

Trash
Aug 31, 2018
1,234
No. I'm beyond help at this point and have made up my mind. I believe I'll do it in about a week or two.
 
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D

Deleted member 1768

Enlightened
Aug 15, 2018
1,107
No. I'm beyond help at this point and have made up my mind. I believe I'll do it in about a week or two.
Me too. I hope that I can find another way very soon. I am tired.
 
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