• Hey Guest,

    If you want to donate, we have a thread with updated donation options here at this link: About Donations

speakinginflowers

speakinginflowers

old ache growing loud again
Mar 3, 2024
4
depends on the person, honestly. i think a lot of people come here to feel better and a lot come here to feel worse or to just learn how they want to die. some people come here to have people to relate to and candidly share their struggles and some come here to wallow (which im definitely not shaming anyone for, do what you wanna on that front) or because they've decided it's definitely never going to get better and for those people, there's usually no consoling them. it does some good to learn which is which and also don't overstep in trying to console anyone especially strangers if it's obvious they don't want to be.
 
K

Kit1

Enlightened
Oct 24, 2023
1,022
Wildflowers1996, this is such a lovely post and you really are kind. I have to be honest - there are some people on this forum that just give me solace by being here and you are one of them. Sometimes - just being is enough. Thank you.
 
Throwawayacc3

Throwawayacc3

Freedom
Mar 4, 2024
824
It's nice to type things without anyone biting your head off. I see some posts that are too much to handle (for me) as I can't relate to the situation but I know it's bad. I feel a bit better replying to people and having some sort of connection to the situation. There's only so much art, linkin park and bring me the horizon I can take in a day.

Some days I'll read a long thread and just silently cry. It doesn't matter that I'm a guy or whatever. Some people just have no options and it's crushijg.
 
divinemistress36

divinemistress36

Enlightened
Jan 1, 2024
1,306
$ 1 million? What's that a shed and a box car as a car lol.
UK - houses that are a complete tip and not refurbished (3 beds - no garage, lucky if you have off street parking space) - £600,000 starting. That doesn't include solicitors, stamp duty, etc. Yeah no chance lmao.
Yep this is why I'll be living in my parents basement forever
 
Throwawayacc3

Throwawayacc3

Freedom
Mar 4, 2024
824
Yep this is why I'll be living in my parents basement forever
LOL. In the UK if you have a basement in your house then you are wealthy. They are extremely common in areas near central like Kensington, Chelsea, etc. Got a basement? Property is worth a few million pounds. lol.

I love how in American that's used as an insult. Say it to someone in the UK and you are saying that they are rich as hell lol
Dave Chappelle Im Rich Bitch GIF
 
divinemistress36

divinemistress36

Enlightened
Jan 1, 2024
1,306
LOL. In the UK if you have a basement in your house then you are wealthy. They are extremely common in areas near central like Kensington, Chelsea, etc. Got a basement? Property is worth a few million pounds. lol.

I love how in American that's used as an insult. Say it to someone in the UK and you are saying that they are rich as hell lol
Dave Chappelle Im Rich Bitch GIF
Yep they consider you a loser If you are Over 30 living in parents basement but we can't all be upper middle class
 
Throwawayacc3

Throwawayacc3

Freedom
Mar 4, 2024
824
Yep they consider you a loser If you are Over 30 living in parents basement but we can't all be upper middle class
Yeah same boat - I wasn't a "loser" when business was fine. When it collapsed NOW I'm a loser. lol some normie logic.

It's fine - their mortgages are going to pound town and it'll destroy them eventually. All for show and status. Only people doing ok are the ones who own their homes outright which is less than 2% easy.

This loser can feed the parrot and woodpecker coming to the garden. I don't need people anymore.
 
divinemistress36

divinemistress36

Enlightened
Jan 1, 2024
1,306
Yeah same boat - I wasn't a "loser" when business was fine. When it collapsed NOW I'm a loser. lol some normie logic.

It's fine - their mortgages are going to pound town and it'll destroy them eventually. All for show and status. Only people doing ok are the ones who own their homes outright which is less than 2% easy.

This loser can feed the parrot and woodpecker coming to the garden. I don't need people anymore.
It's true! Im low income but I'm debt free so I'll laugh when shit hits the fan for some of them
 
  • Like
Reactions: ijustwishtodie
Throwawayacc3

Throwawayacc3

Freedom
Mar 4, 2024
824
It's true! Im low income but I'm debt free so I'll laugh when shit hits the fan for some of them
I'm now low income. Went from top to bottom but spent a lot on animal related stuff and art so don't care lol. I've got a few thousand on the cards. Hopefully last few deals and then say fuck off and stop it all.
Yes... could you purchase a nuclear weapon for me?
Dr Evil GIF by Product Hunt
 
Throwawayacc3

Throwawayacc3

Freedom
Mar 4, 2024
824
Better to spend on animals than stupid materalistic shit
I mean I did go places abroad but I'd always look for animal sanctuaries or zoos and research them before going (not giving money to dodgy fucks like the research I did for charities and companies).
Even when I started doing golf (ironically to get away from people most of the day) I'd take so many photos waiting for the group ahead of animals. On one holiday I had two turtles on the fairway chilling, a stork fly over my head, a load of flamingos right next to me on the fairway. It was nice.

Anyway it's all gone now. Not that I wanted to go on "holidays" all the time. I could only bear them for about 5 days with an itinerary. Spain was the destination to stay and volunteer at that sanctuary. It's done, over. Win the lottery (1 in 127,000,000) or death for it to happen.
 
EvisceratedJester

EvisceratedJester

The drip finally stops
Oct 21, 2023
802
Your honestly probably the sweetest member on here. There probably isn't much you do alleviate the suffering of others. Sadly, suffering is something that needs to be worked through by the person and it can be a hard thing to do. The best thing you can do is be kind to others and show them genuine support and understanding of what they are going through.
 
U

Unsure and alone

It's a slow fade
Dec 10, 2023
116
You're probably better off asking this in the recovery section as opposed to here
True , I had the same thought.
However it's probably far more interesting asking it in the suicide section.
I find it so hard seeing all the suffering here and I just wish there was something I could do to alleviate the suffering even just a little bit :(
Reading this thread was a little bit helpful.
 
Last edited:
S

StarryEyed

Member
Mar 14, 2024
55
I often find it helpful if people don't try to, as you say, alleviate my suffering, but just accept that I am suffering and love me even though I'm suffering. Often the measuring stick of a loveable person in society is a healthy, thriving person. But broken people are loveable too. It's hard enough to be suffering, but when people tell me my suffering causes them suffering, it's a double whammy. So I need to alleviate their suffering?

Often I just need to feel the suffering. You know, walk through the fire instead of around it. Otherwise I can't process the thought or feeling I'm struggling with. On this forum I'm trying to process my suicidal thoughts and feelings because there's no place for these IRL. So your empathy is best served for me by not wanting to fix me or save me, but to accept my broken parts and respect that no one can accurately measure the suffering of another person because suffering is subjective.

So likewise I can't measure other people suffering by seeing me suffer. But I think the best arrangement is if everyone owns their own suffering, and not make others responsible for their suffering. But I know that's impossible; we are connected in our suffering. The same way we are connected in our joy. I'm sorry you're suffering. Maybe this site is not appropriate for you? It's pretty raw here.
 
  • Love
Reactions: wildflowers1996
wildflowers1996

wildflowers1996

Specialist
Oct 14, 2023
326
I often find it helpful if people don't try to, as you say, alleviate my suffering, but just accept that I am suffering and love me even though I'm suffering. Often the measuring stick of a loveable person in society is a healthy, thriving person. But broken people are loveable too. It's hard enough to be suffering, but when people tell me my suffering causes them suffering, it's a double whammy. So I need to alleviate their suffering?

Often I just need to feel the suffering. You know, walk through the fire instead of around it. Otherwise I can't process the thought or feeling I'm struggling with. On this forum I'm trying to process my suicidal thoughts and feelings because there's no place for these IRL. So your empathy is best served for me by not wanting to fix me or save me, but to accept my broken parts and respect that no one can accurately measure the suffering of another person because suffering is subjective.

So likewise I can't measure other people suffering by seeing me suffer. But I think the best arrangement is if everyone owns their own suffering, and not make others responsible for their suffering. But I know that's impossible; we are connected in our suffering. The same way we are connected in our joy. I'm sorry you're suffering. Maybe this site is not appropriate for you? It's pretty raw here.
I'm sorry I didn't mean to upset you more by saying your suffering causes me suffering and I certainly wasn't expecting people to feel like they have to make me feel better for seeing them suffering, I wouldn't want people to feel like they have to hide their pain at all I definitely don't want to make things worse
I guess I'm asking then not "how can I fix everything for you?" (if that's not possible) but "how can I show you love even though you are suffering?" Like you said you like people to love you despite your suffering - what does that love look like, if that makes sense?
 
Linda

Linda

Member
Jul 30, 2020
1,105
There are at least two ways you can do it. The first is to offer practical suggestions about how people might try dealing with their problems. Of course that's only appropriate if their problems have solutions (or, at least, might have solutions). The second way is to offer emotional support, in whatever way you can. Unfortunately, we all have to accept that there is a limit to what we can do, and for many of the people here we can do very little. At one time I stayed away from this site for about 2 years, because I became frustrated at how little I could actually achieve by being here.
 
Last edited:
S

StarryEyed

Member
Mar 14, 2024
55
@wildflowers1996 thanks for your reply and, no, you didn't upset me. I could see from a lot of the other people posting here that your heart is in the right place and you're well liked on the forum. I'm just answering your question. I'll take it from the top... You started this thread by saying, "I find it so hard seeing all the suffering here and I just wish there was something I could do to alleviate the suffering even just a little bit :("

So I translated "I find it so hard seeing all the suffering here" and your frowning face into you saying you are suffering due to members suffering.

I also translated your "I just wish there was something I could do to alleviate the suffering even just a little bit" into you wanting to alleviate the suffering. So I said not to try to alleviate my suffering would be a help.

Also, I didn't say I'm loveable *despite* my suffering. I said "even though I'm suffering", meaning *including* my suffering.

In answer to your question as to what loving a broken person looks like, most of Adam Sandler's movies show broken, loveable people. Actually most movies are about that, but Adam Sandler's are the best examples. We're all broken to varying degrees in this world - not just suicidal people. We don't all have to be happy and wanting to live in order to deserve a voice and a place in this world. I think if the world was more accepting of what are deemed as "negative" thoughts and feelings, I wouldn't feel so suicidal.

But perhaps progress has been made by someone coining the phrase "toxic positivity". It makes me think there may be room in the future for negativity.

I hope that makes more sense.
 

Similar threads

roseleaf
Replies
4
Views
172
Suicide Discussion
casandranova29
casandranova29
manic-dream
Replies
17
Views
262
Suicide Discussion
Oliver
Oliver
FuneralCry
Replies
21
Views
330
Offtopic
Dark Moon
Dark Moon
FuneralCry
Replies
21
Views
364
Suicide Discussion
momento.mori
momento.mori