is there anything I can do to help anyone here feel a tiny bit better

[wildflowers1996]

I find it so hard seeing all the suffering here and I just wish there was something I could do to alleviate the suffering even just a little bit :(

 

[speakinginflowers]

depends on the person, honestly. i think a lot of people come here to feel better and a lot come here to feel worse or to just learn how they want to die. some people come here to have people to relate to and candidly share their struggles and some come here to wallow (which im definitely not shaming anyone for, do what you wanna on that front) or because they've decided it's definitely never going to get better and for those people, there's usually no consoling them. it does some good to learn which is which and also don't overstep in trying to console anyone especially strangers if it's obvious they don't want to be.

 

[Kit1]

Wildflowers1996, this is such a lovely post and you really are kind. I have to be honest - there are some people on this forum that just give me solace by being here and you are one of them. Sometimes - just being is enough. Thank you.

 

[UKscotty]

I wish I could see the true miracle and beauty of life. Existence is so precious and an opportunity for limitless happiness and joy but I mostly feel depression.

 

[divinemistress36]

Just talking and relating to us helps. When someone shows us empathy it makes a difference. It's what people will remember about you

 

[Throwawayacc3]

It's nice to type things without anyone biting your head off. I see some posts that are too much to handle (for me) as I can't relate to the situation but I know it's bad. I feel a bit better replying to people and having some sort of connection to the situation. There's only so much art, linkin park and bring me the horizon I can take in a day.

Some days I'll read a long thread and just silently cry. It doesn't matter that I'm a guy or whatever. Some people just have no options and it's crushijg.

 

[sserafim]

You can give me a small loan of $1 million. Jk

 

[INTJme]

Can you make me see the colour purple? (I'm colorvision deficient or "colour-blind" for context)

 

[Throwawayacc3]

You can give me a small loan of $1 million. Jk

$ 1 million? What's that a shed and a box car as a car lol.
UK - houses that are a complete tip and not refurbished (3 beds - no garage, lucky if you have off street parking space) - £600,000 starting. That doesn't include solicitors, stamp duty, etc. Yeah no chance lmao.

 

[divinemistress36]

$ 1 million? What's that a shed and a box car as a car lol.
UK - houses that are a complete tip and not refurbished (3 beds - no garage, lucky if you have off street parking space) - £600,000 starting. That doesn't include solicitors, stamp duty, etc. Yeah no chance lmao.

Yep this is why I'll be living in my parents basement forever

 

[Throwawayacc3]

Yep this is why I'll be living in my parents basement forever

LOL. In the UK if you have a basement in your house then you are wealthy. They are extremely common in areas near central like Kensington, Chelsea, etc. Got a basement? Property is worth a few million pounds. lol.

I love how in American that's used as an insult. Say it to someone in the UK and you are saying that they are rich as hell lol

 

[divinemistress36]

LOL. In the UK if you have a basement in your house then you are wealthy. They are extremely common in areas near central like Kensington, Chelsea, etc. Got a basement? Property is worth a few million pounds. lol.

I love how in American that's used as an insult. Say it to someone in the UK and you are saying that they are rich as hell lol

Yep they consider you a loser If you are Over 30 living in parents basement but we can't all be upper middle class

 

[Throwawayacc3]

Yep they consider you a loser If you are Over 30 living in parents basement but we can't all be upper middle class

Yeah same boat - I wasn't a "loser" when business was fine. When it collapsed NOW I'm a loser. lol some normie logic.

It's fine - their mortgages are going to pound town and it'll destroy them eventually. All for show and status. Only people doing ok are the ones who own their homes outright which is less than 2% easy.

This loser can feed the parrot and woodpecker coming to the garden. I don't need people anymore.

 

[divinemistress36]

Yeah same boat - I wasn't a "loser" when business was fine. When it collapsed NOW I'm a loser. lol some normie logic.

It's fine - their mortgages are going to pound town and it'll destroy them eventually. All for show and status. Only people doing ok are the ones who own their homes outright which is less than 2% easy.

This loser can feed the parrot and woodpecker coming to the garden. I don't need people anymore.

It's true! Im low income but I'm debt free so I'll laugh when shit hits the fan for some of them

 

[Sprite_Geist]

Yes... could you purchase a nuclear weapon for me?

 

[Throwawayacc3]

It's true! Im low income but I'm debt free so I'll laugh when shit hits the fan for some of them

I'm now low income. Went from top to bottom but spent a lot on animal related stuff and art so don't care lol. I've got a few thousand on the cards. Hopefully last few deals and then say fuck off and stop it all.

Yes... could you purchase a nuclear weapon for me?

 

[divinemistress36]

I'm now low income. Went from top to bottom but spent a lot on animal related stuff and art so don't care lol. I've got a few thousand on the cards. Hopefully last few deals and then say fuck off and stop it all.

Better to spend on animals than stupid materalistic shit

 

[SilentSadness]

Sorry, but there's nothing you can do, life is suffering.

 

[Throwawayacc3]

Better to spend on animals than stupid materalistic shit

I mean I did go places abroad but I'd always look for animal sanctuaries or zoos and research them before going (not giving money to dodgy fucks like the research I did for charities and companies).
Even when I started doing golf (ironically to get away from people most of the day) I'd take so many photos waiting for the group ahead of animals. On one holiday I had two turtles on the fairway chilling, a stork fly over my head, a load of flamingos right next to me on the fairway. It was nice.

Anyway it's all gone now. Not that I wanted to go on "holidays" all the time. I could only bear them for about 5 days with an itinerary. Spain was the destination to stay and volunteer at that sanctuary. It's done, over. Win the lottery (1 in 127,000,000) or death for it to happen.

 

[ijustwishtodie]

You're probably better off asking this in the recovery section as opposed to here

 

[EvisceratedJester]

Your honestly probably the sweetest member on here. There probably isn't much you do alleviate the suffering of others. Sadly, suffering is something that needs to be worked through by the person and it can be a hard thing to do. The best thing you can do is be kind to others and show them genuine support and understanding of what they are going through.

 

[RosesFlourish]

You're a really cool person. :) Thank you for making me smile.

 

[Unsure and alone]

You're probably better off asking this in the recovery section as opposed to here

True , I had the same thought.
However it's probably far more interesting asking it in the suicide section.

I find it so hard seeing all the suffering here and I just wish there was something I could do to alleviate the suffering even just a little bit :(

Reading this thread was a little bit helpful.

 

[lifewasawillowtv]

Can you shoot me in the head please XD. This is such a lovely post though :)

 

[LOVELYDARKDEEP]

You have, just by asking.

 

[StarryEyed]

I often find it helpful if people don't try to, as you say, alleviate my suffering, but just accept that I am suffering and love me even though I'm suffering. Often the measuring stick of a loveable person in society is a healthy, thriving person. But broken people are loveable too. It's hard enough to be suffering, but when people tell me my suffering causes them suffering, it's a double whammy. So I need to alleviate their suffering?

Often I just need to feel the suffering. You know, walk through the fire instead of around it. Otherwise I can't process the thought or feeling I'm struggling with. On this forum I'm trying to process my suicidal thoughts and feelings because there's no place for these IRL. So your empathy is best served for me by not wanting to fix me or save me, but to accept my broken parts and respect that no one can accurately measure the suffering of another person because suffering is subjective.

So likewise I can't measure other people suffering by seeing me suffer. But I think the best arrangement is if everyone owns their own suffering, and not make others responsible for their suffering. But I know that's impossible; we are connected in our suffering. The same way we are connected in our joy. I'm sorry you're suffering. Maybe this site is not appropriate for you? It's pretty raw here.

 

[wildflowers1996]

I often find it helpful if people don't try to, as you say, alleviate my suffering, but just accept that I am suffering and love me even though I'm suffering. Often the measuring stick of a loveable person in society is a healthy, thriving person. But broken people are loveable too. It's hard enough to be suffering, but when people tell me my suffering causes them suffering, it's a double whammy. So I need to alleviate their suffering?

Often I just need to feel the suffering. You know, walk through the fire instead of around it. Otherwise I can't process the thought or feeling I'm struggling with. On this forum I'm trying to process my suicidal thoughts and feelings because there's no place for these IRL. So your empathy is best served for me by not wanting to fix me or save me, but to accept my broken parts and respect that no one can accurately measure the suffering of another person because suffering is subjective.

So likewise I can't measure other people suffering by seeing me suffer. But I think the best arrangement is if everyone owns their own suffering, and not make others responsible for their suffering. But I know that's impossible; we are connected in our suffering. The same way we are connected in our joy. I'm sorry you're suffering. Maybe this site is not appropriate for you? It's pretty raw here.

I'm sorry I didn't mean to upset you more by saying your suffering causes me suffering and I certainly wasn't expecting people to feel like they have to make me feel better for seeing them suffering, I wouldn't want people to feel like they have to hide their pain at all I definitely don't want to make things worse
I guess I'm asking then not "how can I fix everything for you?" (if that's not possible) but "how can I show you love even though you are suffering?" Like you said you like people to love you despite your suffering - what does that love look like, if that makes sense?

 

[Linda]

There are at least two ways you can do it. The first is to offer practical suggestions about how people might try dealing with their problems. Of course that's only appropriate if their problems have solutions (or, at least, might have solutions). The second way is to offer emotional support, in whatever way you can. Unfortunately, we all have to accept that there is a limit to what we can do, and for many of the people here we can do very little. At one time I stayed away from this site for about 2 years, because I became frustrated at how little I could actually achieve by being here.

 

[lita-lassi]

just keep being your lovely self

 

[StarryEyed]

@wildflowers1996 thanks for your reply and, no, you didn't upset me. I could see from a lot of the other people posting here that your heart is in the right place and you're well liked on the forum. I'm just answering your question. I'll take it from the top... You started this thread by saying, "I find it so hard seeing all the suffering here and I just wish there was something I could do to alleviate the suffering even just a little bit :("

So I translated "I find it so hard seeing all the suffering here" and your frowning face into you saying you are suffering due to members suffering.

I also translated your "I just wish there was something I could do to alleviate the suffering even just a little bit" into you wanting to alleviate the suffering. So I said not to try to alleviate my suffering would be a help.

Also, I didn't say I'm loveable *despite* my suffering. I said "even though I'm suffering", meaning *including* my suffering.

In answer to your question as to what loving a broken person looks like, most of Adam Sandler's movies show broken, loveable people. Actually most movies are about that, but Adam Sandler's are the best examples. We're all broken to varying degrees in this world - not just suicidal people. We don't all have to be happy and wanting to live in order to deserve a voice and a place in this world. I think if the world was more accepting of what are deemed as "negative" thoughts and feelings, I wouldn't feel so suicidal.

But perhaps progress has been made by someone coining the phrase "toxic positivity". It makes me think there may be room in the future for negativity.

I hope that makes more sense.