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I

itsallover

Arcanist
Jun 29, 2018
478
For me it would be hurting my mother. I can't imagine doing that to her after all she has done for me. I know she would die for me if she had to. On the other hand, if she passes and I am still here then I would be so overcome by grief that I would not see any reason to go on as I am so close to her. I don't have much of a relationship with brother or father though? What about you?
 
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skitliv

skitliv

Le mort joyeux
Jul 11, 2018
485
Guilt and fear for the most part but I'm taking care of it
 
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Xmac000

Xmac000

Somewhere...
May 23, 2018
102
Eternal nothingness theory. If this is really it and i cease to exist for all of eternity after i die then i don't think killing myself is a good idea. I'm not killing myself for nothing. Its definitely holding me back. I have no fear of an afterlife.
 
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T

Tiburcio

Guest
Self-preservation instinct and difficulty for obtain methods, but I'm solving both.

Nothing more holds me, when I solve my two main problems I will be released into the nothingless of the universe.

I'm curious for seeing how it will be, and I think I will discover it soon...
 
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skitliv

skitliv

Le mort joyeux
Jul 11, 2018
485
Eternal nothingness theory. If this is really it and i cease to exist for all of eternity after i die then i don't think killing myself is a good idea. I'm not killing myself for nothing. Its definitely holding me back. I have no fear of an afterlife.

Thats an interesting point of view, I on the other hand am scared of there being something more, go figure
 
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dsbm

dsbm

Member
Jul 13, 2018
7
Eternal nothingness theory. If this is really it and i cease to exist for all of eternity after i die then i don't think killing myself is a good idea. I'm not killing myself for nothing. Its definitely holding me back. I have no fear of an afterlife.
Most likely case for circumstances after death is total oblivion. There is no afterlife. You just stop existing.
 
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Xmac000

Xmac000

Somewhere...
May 23, 2018
102
Most likely case for circumstances after death is total oblivion. There is no afterlife. You just stop existing.
Yeah. That seems to be the general consensus around here and on reddit. I've heard that so many times now along with "remember before you were born? Thats how it is when you die" which honestly doesnt help me at all.
 
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agreement

agreement

Mage
Mar 26, 2018
544
Yup, my family is a major barrier for me.
 
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W

whatsthepoint

Member
Jul 17, 2018
12
I just mentioned this in another post, but my parents are both prone to anxiety and depression themselves, so I really worry about how they'd handle my death. That's really holding me back, since I love them immensely and couldn't stand to hurt them. (When I've come closest to killing myself, though, I have been able to convince myself that any pain I cause them is for the best. But that's not my normal, rational mindset.)
 
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Vvcv

Vvcv

Member
Jul 17, 2018
39
My parents don't want me to die, to achieve this they are ready to support me until they die... whether they find it easy or not, and I am just accepting their kindness... It's going to take A LOT of time for my parents to die, in fact, this makes thinking about death pointless, just make sure you want to die and you are all set, enjoy your free time until the moment comes... I was unlucky to have a mental illness but I was lucky with my parents, that's all there is to it.
 
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M

Mecha Man

Experienced
Jul 16, 2018
230
Because I'm scared and lazy, and, because I already tried to kill myself once, I can't just go buy a shotgun and shoot myself, so I have to do something more complicated, hence the fear and laziness.
 
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K

Karlala

Member
Jun 27, 2018
74
I just need a method and in tone, I've tried hanging ,overdose, anti freeze, the hanging is hard to do. I need a poison to end it all fast or a gun
 
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F

Final Escape

I’ve been here too long
Jul 8, 2018
4,348
I've found it's an arduous task to work at planning your death. It's hard to get excited about it. Even though the idea of succeeding and pulling it off is liberating. Knowing u are ending it and knowing something is beyond but you cannot know what it will be like. It cannot be like being born. It has to feel different. Maybe not though.
 
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SunSetsForever

SunSetsForever

Member
Apr 6, 2018
34
Just a few things on a bucket list. But I keep coming back to the idea that once I'm dead, it won't matter what I accomplished or didn't accomplish. Success and failure don't matter when you're dead.
 
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AmmarQz

AmmarQz

Member
Jun 24, 2018
7
I feel sorry for my mom and sisters and I don't want to hurt them but I'm not sure I can take it any longer.
 
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S

Ssname

Experienced
Jun 30, 2018
268
My family. In particular my mother. Sometimes this makes me resent her. Then afterwards I feel like a bad person.
 
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Larez

Larez

Member
Mar 22, 2018
25
One of the main factors that makes me question if I should pull the plug is my family. Nobody in the house seems to be caring about me, but I know that it's a lie. Long story short, I've been mostly at fault for everything: me avoiding confrontations, looking for an easy way out during serious conversations, etc. When I feel that I've nearly musterered enough suicidal courage, or became even more empty than I already were and found myself in a darker place than before, I can't stop thinking about my mother and her inevitable gut wrenching reaction to me taking my own life, even though I've promised so many times that I'm fine and dandy...

So yeah...sometimes I decide to stay on the basis of unfulfilled potential or unresolved affairs, but I mostly end up squandering some more chances either way ;d Typical story, really...
 
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Aponia & Ataraxia

Aponia & Ataraxia

Experienced
Jun 24, 2018
233
Eternal nothingness theory. If this is really it and i cease to exist for all of eternity after i die then i don't think killing myself is a good idea. I'm not killing myself for nothing. Its definitely holding me back. I have no fear of an afterlife.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mortality_salience

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Growing_block_universe : "For instance, Forrest (2004) argues that although there exists a past, it is lifeless and inactive."

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Egocentric_presentism :
Death Mode A: painful - default mode (becomes more common with higher degrees of biological aging)
Death Mode B: peaceful & pleasant - optional mode

time is abrasive, while timelessness is friction-less:

"Thomas W. Clark, founder of Center for Naturalism, wrote a paper titled "Death, Nothingness, and Subjectivity". He critiqued what he saw as a flawed description of eternal oblivion as a "plunge into darkness". When some imagine their deaths (including the non-religious), they project themselves into a future self which experiences an eternal silent darkness. This is wrong, because without consciousness, there is no awareness of space and no basis for time. For Clark, in oblivion there isn't even an absence of experience, as we can only speak of experience when a subjective self exists."

"Is it possible that existence is our exile and nothingness our home?" -Emil Cioran

"Of all obstacles to a thoroughly penetrating account of existence, none looms up more dismayingly than "time." Explain time? Not without explaining existence. Explain existence? Not without explaining time." -John Archibald Wheeler

"All that is real is real in a moment, which is a succession of moments. Anything that is true is true of the present moment. Not only is time real, but everything that is real is situated in time. Nothing exists timelessly." -Lee Smolin

"Everything is determined, the beginning as well as the end, by forces over which we have no control. It is determined for the insect, as well as for the star. Human beings, vegetables, or cosmic dust, we all dance to a mysterious tune, intoned in the distance by an invisible piper." -Albert Einstein

"The fact is that we only fully arrive at ourselves in a freely chosen death [when/where/how]. It, and only it, is "la minute de la verite" (the moment of truth). -Jean Amery, 'On Suicide: A Discourse on Voluntary Death'

In reality: no one "catches" some odd bus... you get off of a moving train --of which you [involuntarily] "caught" when you were born, and have always been on. So, you get off the train somewhere in your future light-cone (hopefully voluntarily and at a blissful destination, a blissful final reference frame... because that final frame is coming, voluntary or not)
 
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W

Weirdoee

Member
Apr 20, 2018
37
Can't use a fucking decent method cause I live with a relative.
 
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U

unwell

Member
Jul 13, 2018
15
I have nothing and no one . Except my cat. But I do worry that he would really miss me if I were gone. I have had him since he was 7wks old... He has slept with me every night since I brought him home. It hurts me to think of him alone in the dark wondering ...
 
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V

Vvoiid

Member
Jul 18, 2018
65
I don't have access to drugs and even if I did I don't have any money to buy it. I'm left with jumping but that is extremely hard due to the survival instinct. I also feel a bit guilty because of the people I will hurt and the consquences my death will have.
 
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saffron

saffron

Student
Jul 18, 2018
128
I don't have access to drugs and even if I did I don't have any money to buy it. I'm left with jumping but that is extremely hard due to the survival instinct. I also feel a bit guilty because of the people I will hurt and the consquences my death will have.

Hmm, jumping isn't the best way to go but I understand it's hard to get methods. If I may ask, how old are you?
 
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saffron

saffron

Student
Jul 18, 2018
128
I won't be left alone for 24 hours to drink N

Oh yeah. I feel you. If I was going to do a drug OD I'd probably do it in a forest, tent or motel.
My mum's only usually gone for 7 hours during a week day so it's too risky to do at home or even when everyone's asleep.
 
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longingforrelease

longingforrelease

Specialist
Oct 27, 2018
381
my concern for how this will impact my daughter
 
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Help_Me

Help_Me

Gene pool mistake
Oct 21, 2018
516
I achieved nothing, so there is nothing to hold me back.
 
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VincentValentine

VincentValentine

Student
Sep 27, 2018
145
Just a few things on a bucket list. But I keep coming back to the idea that once I'm dead, it won't matter what I accomplished or didn't accomplish. Success and failure don't matter when you're dead.

Same. I'd ideally like to end my life on as much of a good note as possible even if life in general was shitty enough to drive me to suicide.
 
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C

creationisdeath

Specialist
Oct 20, 2018
359
I have absolutely no one. Nobody ever cared about me for real. So the common argument doesn't exist for me.

Right now it's the destruction of opportunity. I've been through so much suffering I want something to go my way. I want good memories. Death is supposed to be beautiful and voluntary. Right now it'd be in misery and not really voluntary..
 
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Lra888

Lra888

Enlightened
Sep 30, 2018
1,140
Depression. Don't have the energy but I know I have to do this. Too difficult to move at times and I stay in bed when I can. Physically and mentally messed up and can't plan or act properly.
 
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