Is there anyone you want to hurt by ctb?

[Kogoruhn]

I never wanted to, not even when i was bullied on my teens. However i wonder how everyone would react to my death

 

[just tired]

It's not so much I'd want to hurt others as it is that I would be curious to see how certain people reacted. I figure that a lot of people just wouldn't find out, though. My family would be hurt and I'd feel bad about... but with others, I'd more be curious rather than intentionally trying to hurt anyone. I wonder how much people would have actually valued me.

 

[Virgo]

No, that would be a dick move.

 

[Lovemykids]

I been hurt what else to be hurt, I'm from Asia and came to Canada Immigrate with my wife and had wonderful life for 8 years here, all our family was back home, until my wife mother came with supervisa this year and 6 weeks after she came my wife wanted to leave me and took my children away from me, "Sole Custody" with intention of of revenge and rage not wanted me to see my kids, Since birth of my child I been the Mommy for them from changing diapers, Tuck to bed, Sleeping on my chest, Cooking, you name it what your mom will do for you I been doing all that to them and the children has become my world, They even planned to buy a Condo while living together with me and once they get the key to take the child away from me, And I am aware of all this since I tap the phone, After a recent Domestic violence I been hit and punched and she went to court and the court awarded her sole custody with me having Visitation rights, I have nothing left and feel so much anger but end of the day she is the mother of my 2 beautiful soul in this world, I just can't prolong this fight with her anymore and torn away from my children and Imagine living a life alone without them, It's more suffering to see them once a week So I decided to exit, but I'm not gonna Blame her !

 

[Schopenhauer]

I don't want to hurt anyone. But few will care when I pass away. My parents, mostly. I have no close friends.

 

[Flife]

You mentioned Montréalais lol
I'm near Verdun

I didn't mention Montréalais anywhere

 

[s_girl]

Anyone you actively want to be hurt by your death and why?

Honestly, I'd really love to hurt the doctors / nurses / heath system. I feel very disappointed and let down by their 'help', so I'd love it if they felt personally responsible for my death... I'm sure those unfeeling robots will not care at all though...

 

[Rocky M]

Yes, but it may not work, since the person may not hear of my passing. I want to teach them a lesson. They were pretending to be suicidal for attention. I'm going to show them how real suicide is

 

[throwaway777]

i hate myself and i am a burden to everyone … i feel guilty just because i am still alive ));

 

[Lra888]

No. I personally feel that leaving this world is being finished with all conflicts here. Maybe some people from my past will finally understand what i've been going through.

 

[Bandzbandz]

I know I'm going to hurt so many people by leaving. I'm an extremely popular and social person. Lots of people know me. Lots of people expect a message back.
I've been socializing all day and the best part is nobody knows I'm attempting in a few days. I'm the furthest thing from it.

I just can't take being in my head anymore. I hate my thoughts but I can't stop them.

 

[Trashcan]

No. Not that anyone will care anyway.

 

[popo]

Tbh, when I die, I want people to forget that I even existed

 

[onewayroad]

Kind of, not exactly. I had a partner of six years abandon me a couple of years ago when I needed them most, despite me being a perfect partner. Then she was very unkind to me, for no reason. Instead of writing one note, I'm writing about 30 notes, one for each of the people closest to me. I am not writing one to her. I think that will hurt her but that's not really my reason for doing it.

If she had been loyal, and stayed and helped me my life definitely would not have fallen apart as it has over the last few years, so it is her fault that I have ended up where I am.

But I am not cruel enough to tell her directly that she could have saved me, and I am not false enough to lie and tell her that she shouldn't blame herself. So I have nothing to say to her.

 

[InsidiousDormouse]

No but I want to try and raise awareness about benzo withdrawal and that it can kill in more ways than just seizures. Forcing someone to go cold turkey like me should be an offense for which doctors can be struck off for.

Yes I was addicted to them, yes I was taking a very high dose, but I didn't deserve this. It's almost two years later and my body is rotting inside and out.

I was not allowed to taper properly and slowly, I was forced into a very dangerous rapid detox, which goes against all the medical guidelines.

My body is a corpse before I am even dead. It feels as if my soul is trapped inside, screaming to get out.

I already had very complex issues before this, but now, I have been left with nothing at all, my life is in shreds. It was hard enough before with my Asperger's Syndrome, but now my life is unlivable.

An addiction treatment agency, doctor, a 'keyworker', my husband, and someone who was being paid to support me are all part responsible for this.

They all forced me into a situation that NO human being alive is equipped to deal with or live with.

NO regard was ever taken for my additional needs, my ASD, which already causes me horrendously high anxiety levels BEFORE Benzo withdrawal, which is defined by very high anxiety. NO regard at all was taken for ANY of these things, they just wanted to write it down that I was off the stuff, and what a great job they'd done helping me. LMFAO.

I cannot tell you how horrendous this is for me, and how I feel right now, there are no words.

I don't want to hurt anyone for the sake of it, but it'd be good if someone reported on my death and the circumstances which led up to it.

There is no support for people with Aspergers and no support for people going through protracted benzo withdrawal.

If someone takes note of what has happened to me, if it so much as reaches the ears of people who are in a position to review the way people like me are treated, then that's good enough for me.

I hope my story is told by someone, and if it stops just one person from having to go through this, then job done.

My aim is education, not causing more harm, enough people have done enough harm in my situation.

I will make sure they NEVER forget who I am.