is there any RICH PEOPLE in here that want to die despite their wealth and seeming outer success ???

[healthmatters]

Yes, health is wealth. I've always known and valued that, and worked to educate others. I may be able to share some helpful info, if you'd like to PM me.

 

[Vickyalmighty]

I live in India and if I want to declare bankruptcy it would cost me 4lakhs Indian rupees and also if we declare bankruptcy still people will come to our place and beat us for the money. It is a lot of pain in India not like other countries

What country are you in ? Surely you can declare yourself bankrupt and get financial help from other areas ,money is not worth ctb over if thats your only reason . I was in debt my business went bankrupt but although it was hard to accept and left me with nothing ,i never felt i wanted to ctb ,there is so much help out there if you ask for it , I picked myself up and struggled through ,but now i have a terminal illness and i cant be saved and im trying to save off my benefits to go to dignitas . so if anyone is spreading there excess wealth around they can keep me in mind too! thank you .
If i had excess money i would be helping others as much as i could, you cant take it with you ,so may as well help others where you can is my theory , this covid 19 as made a lot of people more considerate of others situations so that is something positive thats perhaps came out of the current pandemic .

 

[bornfree]

First i'd like to say that i apologize if i sounded rude in my reply to you, i get very defensive when talking about all of this, cuz it's easy for me to feel attacked, but it's my fault, so i'm sorry if i came off like that.

About the situation i'm in, i wasn't really pressured to go to med school.
I had a hard time choosing a career, because i hated every single one.
The thing is, my problem was deeper, i hated the very idea of adulthood, growing up, the real world.
I loved being a teen, i loved having an easy and carefree life where everything was just good fun and nothing mattered.
So, the time to apply to entrance exams came, and i had to choose something.
I figured, since i despise everything anyway, just pick Medicine, it was a win-win.
My parents will be happy (they didn't pressure me, but i knew that this is what they wanted me to do, so it was more of an indirect pressure).
If i fail, i have an excuse, because it's the hardest one to pass, and if i succeed, i'll have that high, of being admired, of being complimented for the achivement.
I always cared deeply about my image, about compliments, about this positive feedback, and at that point in my life, i was starving for it.
The moment i said i would try med school, they were filled with joy, and that gave me a high.
Some colleagues/friends and some of their parents also stroked my ego as well, which gave me a high too.
Eventually i was able to pass in this stupid expensive college i mentioned, and that takes us to where i'm at now.
It was also during the year where i passed my entrance exam, 2017, where i think my sadness truly became depression.
I can think of one specific point, where i got rejected by the only girl i ever loved, that was the day i died.
Not just because of the rejection, obviously, but because of all of the things that it made me finally realise.
The friends and colleagues i've studies with for 7 years? Gone.
My hopes of being with this one girl? Gone?
That fun carefree life where everything was easy and always went my way? Gone.
I finally realised that i'm not the protagonist, i'm not special, i realised that some people live and die miserable and i can be one of those people.
I guess i got a reality check for the first time in my life.
Maybe i've talked enough, but i think it's important to mention that it was after this one event in my life that everything just stopped.
I was the best in my high school class, or at least one of the best.
Ever since that day where i had all of these realizations, studying went from being even fun, to being torture, and now i'm always the worst in my college class.
I also used to draw a lot, in my deviantart, my 2016 folder has almost 150 drawings, 2017 has less than 20, folders after that have less than 10.
I don't know, it's like i just can't feel pleasure anymore, i just stopped caring about things in the last few years.
I barely have the energy to get out of bed nowadays, i feel tired all of the time even though i do nothing.
I don't have dreams, i don't have goals, i can't see myself as an adult, i guess i just don't make the cut, i don't know.
And that's why i'm on this site, as far as i'm concerned, i'm not even apt to live, if i stay alive things will just get worse with time, might aswell quit now.

you are trapped in hell.

I can't bear what you are going through. The weight of what you are facing is enormous and it is worth dying to escape from all of this and the pain you are going through. You have been hit by so many great harms and you face no empathy because yours are mental harms. The physical equivalent of what you are going through is like several broken bones and they just want to keep on kicking and punching your broken bones because they don't have empathy for mental harms and suffering as great as you are facing. Your feelings of powerlessness must be driving your suicidal feelings and the hopelessness of finding any solution other than suicide. It's not just one harm but several that make you feel how awful as you do.

I am extremely against the medicalisation of misery and suicide. I know this is completely the wrong time to get on my soapbox but you need empathy not psychiatry. A psychiatrist would recommend you try taking antidepressants. They'll change how you feel but they won't change your situation and they won't protect you from things getting worse. In fact you might risk being hospitalised and forcibly treated against our will if you talk to a doctor and even if they don't force treatment on you i doubt they'll understand just how worth dying the pain of a broken heart is.

As someone who is training to be a doctor it's worse for you because you know what they're going to say and you an insight into what they're thinking so you know you'll be faced with "it's not that bad" or "there are others who are worse off than you" or "you are too young to die" or "you are giving up too soon" or "your life might get better eventually at some point in the future" or "you are throwing your life away because of how you feel right now" the other thoughts devoid of empathy that typify the mental health community at large

you can't suffer more. things can't get worse for you, they have to get better. you need to be protected from all those who are so heartless to you. you need solutions based on your consent or you need access to assisted suicide.

There is no care without assisted suicide. Sorry to end back on my soapbox.

(getting on a soapbox is uk slang for preaching or talking about good and virtue and beliefs like a politician does.)

 

[maru.]

you are trapped in hell.

I can't bear what you are going through. The weight of what you are facing is enormous and it is worth dying to escape from all of this and the pain you are going through. You have been hit by so many great harms and you face no empathy because yours are mental harms. The physical equivalent of what you are going through is like several broken bones and they just want to keep on kicking and punching your broken bones because they don't have empathy for mental harms and suffering as great as you are facing. Your feelings of powerlessness must be driving your suicidal feelings and the hopelessness of finding any solution other than suicide. It's not just one harm but several that make you feel how awful as you do.

I am extremely against the medicalisation of misery and suicide. I know this is completely the wrong time to get on my soapbox but you need empathy not psychiatry. A psychiatrist would recommend you try taking antidepressants. They'll change how you feel but they won't change your situation and they won't protect you from things getting worse. In fact you might risk being hospitalised and forcibly treated against our will if you talk to a doctor and even if they don't force treatment on you i doubt they'll understand just how worth dying the pain of a broken heart is.

As someone who is training to be a doctor it's worse for you because you know what they're going to say and you an insight into what they're thinking so you know you'll be faced with "it's not that bad" or "there are others who are worse off than you" or "you are too young to die" or "you are giving up too soon" or "your life might get better eventually at some point in the future" or "you are throwing your life away because of how you feel right now" the other thoughts devoid of empathy that typify the mental health community at large

you can't suffer more. things can't get worse for you, they have to get better. you need to be protected from all those who are so heartless to you. you need solutions based on your consent or you need access to assisted suicide.

There is no care without assisted suicide. Sorry to end back on my soapbox.

(getting on a soapbox is uk slang for preaching or talking about good and virtue and beliefs like a politician does.)

Your reply is so filled with empathy from start to finish, that it made my heart feel warm, almost like i've been hugged through words.
As someone who constantly doubts myself and my depression, feeling like i'm just looking for excuses and that it's all my fault... I really needed this hug.

Thank you so much!

 

[Sdj]

I'm near a million bucks and make nearly 200k a year and have done very well with crypto investments, going from 30k of debt and 0 in the bank to around 700,000 Canadian (spread across crypto / bank / cash) in 4 years and no debt. By my estimations I would be a millionaire in the next two years maximum, probably in the next six months as I've been doing pretty well with crypto in 2020. I also spend very little, drive a 1200 dollar car, live in a 1 bedroom apartment, currently eating store brand chips and spinach dip, etc. I am 33 for reference.

No amount of money will cure my earth shattering tinnitus or visual issues. Already spent over 200k trying. Really the only thing I ever wanted to do in my life was backpack around the world and smoke weed and I did that for all of my 20s, being a broke bum, and it was the best time ever. I am so glad I did that before all my health issues hit because now I am very well off and positioned to be a multimillionaire and unable to do anything at all with the money that I never cared about having in the first place. I cant even smoke weed as it exacerbates my symptoms so I lost that too! Haha. I dont believe in God but theres an old Dolly Parton lyric that goes, "if you want to know what God thinks of money, look at the people he gave it to."

So it's hard not to have a good chuckle at that.

At this point I am happy to have money to leave my niece and nephews for when they are older, and am looking forward to taking my SN very soon.

If money would solve anyones problems and convince them to live in this beautiful world, learn how to program. I taught myself and it is very easy and very lucrative.

 

[incognito]

[QUOTE = "ForensicallyAware, publicación: 709737, miembro: 14829"]
No soy rico pero no tengo que trabajar y tengo la mayoría de las cosas que necesito
La vida se siente totalmente sin sentido
Y estoy en este sitio web.
[/ My situation is similar.]

 

[Lucifer'sRight]

I'm near a million bucks and make nearly 200k a year and have done very well with crypto investments, going from 30k of debt and 0 in the bank to around 700,000 Canadian (spread across crypto / bank / cash) in 4 years and no debt. By my estimations I would be a millionaire in the next two years maximum, probably in the next six months as I've been doing pretty well with crypto in 2020. I also spend very little, drive a 1200 dollar car, live in a 1 bedroom apartment, currently eating store brand chips and spinach dip, etc. I am 33 for reference.

No amount of money will cure my earth shattering tinnitus or visual issues. Already spent over 200k trying. Really the only thing I ever wanted to do in my life was backpack around the world and smoke weed and I did that for all of my 20s, being a broke bum, and it was the best time ever. I am so glad I did that before all my health issues hit because now I am very well off and positioned to be a multimillionaire and unable to do anything at all with the money that I never cared about having in the first place. I cant even smoke weed as it exacerbates my symptoms so I lost that too! Haha. I dont believe in God but theres an old Dolly Parton lyric that goes, "if you want to know what God thinks of money, look at the people he gave it to."

So it's hard not to have a good chuckle at that.

At this point I am happy to have money to leave my niece and nephews for when they are older, and am looking forward to taking my SN very soon.

If money would solve anyones problems and convince them to live in this beautiful world, learn how to program. I taught myself and it is very easy and very lucrative.

Are your health issues the main reason you want to CTB? If yes, is it because you value your senses a lot or is it the fact that it disrupts your life in other ways? Or other?

 

[Conker]

Not rich either but if I was, I wouldn't want to ctb as much. It would mean I'd be able to get out of the situation I'm stuck in, pay off crippling debt, start over and if I did chose to ctb I'd have more options available to me like N. Money doesn't buy happiness but it can be a huge help.

Money can definitely buy personal contentment, but true happiness is something much deeper & completely different than that. This is a distinction that's seldom made along with many other ones.

Knowing the difference..

 

[Lucifer'sRight]

I am not rich but having more money will allow me do more fun things this can help me live better and enjoy life.

If i had a lot of money i would. I move far away where no one knows me and start my life again.

Why do men love using the gun for sucide?
A gun is the worst method to use as you can permanetly disfigure your face if you mess up with the positioning.
There is no dignty. A hole in your head, blood and guts thats not a dignified exit

Gun is the quickest. I'm a female but i'd still pick a gun if i could.

 

[Crushed_Innocence]

I hate the concept of a man taking care of a woman. Mostly because if we'd say the same thing in reverse that would be an insult...

Lol, finny because I want a man to take care of me. that's my dream. to be a pamepred housewife. To each their own right?

 

[LastRide]

I

I'm DIRT POOR...

I can assure you that I would not even consider suicide and would instantly forget about Sanctioned Suicide if I were to somehow acquire $10 million.


Chronic health problems have unfortunately taken away my ability to make ANY income.

I wish destiny would put you in this dilemma...whatever you think, even if someone dropped you off a bag of 10 million, if you cannot get rid of your chronic health problems then I'd bet you'd still want to ctb !

 

[Sdj]

Are your health issues the main reason you want to CTB? If yes, is it because you value your senses a lot or is it the fact that it disrupts your life in other ways? Or other?

They're the only reason at all I want to CTB, mainly the tinnitus. It is as loud as an ambulance, ranges from two to 15 different tones at any given time, and changes whenever I move my head or body. It also reacts to other sounds so I can barely leave the house. It is truly psychological torment of the highest degree. I would rather have AIDS.

 

[alizee]

@Sdj why not try edibles? You could even try vaping since it's less stressful on the body. Shame there isn't anything for your health condition. How did you get the hearing problem?

 

[idek]

I'm quite poor but I have a lot going for me, I guess... steady income, a home that can't be taken from me, a man who loves me, healthcare that covers a very expensive med that actually treats my Autoimmune condition...

None of it matters in the face of mental illness. It runs my life and it doesn't give a fuck that I have so much to be grateful for...
Honestly, it feels like a weight...
Because I'm still unhappy despite all I have it just feels like I'm a selfish piece of shit that is willfully unhappy.

I can't get over how much I shouldn't even feel like this...
I switched antidepressants last year and it helped for a little while. I don't even know what's wrong with me. There's like... one more medication I could try till I get to MAOIs (and I couldn't stick to the diet)... after that is ECT, and it feels like at that point I might as well be dead because being a zombie for a week after and needing to be taken care of... just fucking kill me (just fucking kill me anyways).

 

[alizee]

I'm quite poor but I have a lot going for me, I guess... steady income, a home that can't be taken from me, a man who loves me, healthcare that covers a very expensive med that actually treats my Autoimmune condition...

None of it matters in the face of mental illness. It runs my life and it doesn't give a fuck that I have so much to be grateful for...
Honestly, it feels like a weight...
Because I'm still unhappy despite all I have it just feels like I'm a selfish piece of shit that is willfully unhappy.

I can't get over how much I shouldn't even feel like this...
I switched antidepressants last year and it helped for a little while. I don't even know what's wrong with me. There's like... one more medication I could try till I get to MAOIs (and I couldn't stick to the diet)... after that is ECT, and it feels like at that point I might as well be dead because being a zombie for a week after and needing to be taken care of... just fucking kill me (just fucking kill me anyways).

I recommend certain strains of cannabis for depression. Orange Creamsicle strain is very good for depression. Sorry if you're somewhere that makes it illegal to try and not all cannabis strains are equal.

 

[idek]

I recommend certain strains of cannabis for depression. Orange Creamsicle strain is very good for depression. Sorry if you're somewhere that makes it illegal to try and not all cannabis strains are equal.

I already smoke cannabis. I'm an addict. It's really not enough (though tbh I smoke less when I'm depressed cus what's the point?).

 

[alizee]

I already smoke cannabis. I'm an addict. It's really not enough (though tbh I smoke less when I'm depressed cus what's the point?).

Some people it helps so I thought to suggest.

 

[Lucifer'sRight]

I'm not rich myself but having money would probably make me more likely to have access to safer busses to catch.

I'd argue you might want to catch the deadliest ones

Lol, finny because I want a man to take care of me. that's my dream. to be a pamepred housewife. To each their own right?

I guess. I know some woman like it, i'm kind of out of the game, since i'm not into men, but i wish my staight female friends could openly say they take care of their men as well, cause they do. Without anyone getting offended. Everybody wants to be taken care of in a relashionship, it shouldn't be exclusive. Women aren't inherently more vunerable then men. Unless they choose to.Taking care of someone you love is a universal thing.

 

[Exitforme]

I

I wish destiny would put you in this dilemma...whatever you think, even if someone dropped you off a bag of 10 million, if you cannot get rid of your chronic health problems then I'd bet you'd still want to ctb !

The only thing worse than chronic health problems is chronic health problems AND NO MONEY.

I can assure, again, that I can tolerate life with my chronic health problems IF I Had ENOUGH MONEY.

Sure, life would still be shitty but it'll be shitty in a comfortable bed with food in the fridge instead of homelessness.

 

[Lucifer'sRight]

The only thing worse than chronic health problems is chronic health problems AND NO MONEY.

I can assure, again, that I can tolerate life with my chronic health problems IF I Had ENOUGH MONEY.

Sure, life would still be shitty but it'll be shitty in a comfortable bed with food in the fridge instead of homelessness.

You really have it rough... are you planning on CTB or just browsing? If yes i really feel for you, it must be hard to plan it in these conditions...

 

[Exitforme]

You really have it rough... are you planning on CTB or just browsing? If yes i really feel for you, it must be hard to plan it in these conditions...

To be honest at this rate it isn't even anything sad to me. Death is just the most logical solution to my problems. I will give life a month more to try fix things through some divine intervention. I don't know why I keep thinking the future will be better when the last seven years have been a horrific decline. I just know I can't tolerate any more and I'm not ashamed of it..

 

[Lucifer'sRight]

and I'm not ashamed of it..

And you shouldn't be. Do you have a solid plan in place?

 

[LastRide]

The only thing worse than chronic health problems is chronic health problems AND NO MONEY.

I can assure, again, that I can tolerate life with my chronic health problems IF I Had ENOUGH MONEY.

Sure, life would still be shitty but it'll be shitty in a comfortable bed with food in the fridge instead of homelessness.

I feel very sorry for you, yes, the cumulation of both bad health and bad finances must be the ultimate horror...but you might think you could tolerate life if you had money even given your physical problems...it might even work for a while...I still believe you won't achieve any kind of permanent comfort even if you had a home and enough money to live decently. Sheer physical pain will always get the better of you in the end ! If I had a choice to give up every single penny I have but I got perfect physical constitution in exchange I'd gladly say yes !

I'd argue you might want to catch the deadliest ones

I guess. I know some woman like it, i'm kind of out of the game, since i'm not into men, but i wish my staight female friends could openly say they take care of their men as well, cause they do. Without anyone getting offended. Everybody wants to be taken care of in a relashionship, it shouldn't be exclusive. Women aren't inherently more vunerable then men. Unless they choose to.Taking care of someone you love is a universal thing.

I totally agree - only I ever had women who were big into making a career and it got into the way of our relationship even though I keep on wanting just to spoil and pamper them since I have enough money to afford a comfy lifestyle for 2 ! Silly isn't that some people crave something they cannot get and others reject it when it's wholeheartedly offered?

 

[Sdj]

@Sdj why not try edibles? You could even try vaping since it's less stressful on the body. Shame there isn't anything for your health condition. How did you get the hearing problem?

Any THC amplifies it. It's not a hearing problem, my hearing is fine (multiple hearing tests).

Dont know how I got it, unfortunately. Appeared in bed one night and progressively got worse.

 

[alizee]

Any THC amplifies it. It's not a hearing problem, my hearing is fine (multiple hearing tests).

Dont know how I got it, unfortunately. Appeared in bed one night and progressively got worse.

I've read hearing loss may coincide with tinnitus so I assumed. I've read just aging can result in tinnitus but typically the outcome is from loud noises damaging the inner ear. I'm surprised with how common it can be that nobody has figured out a cure for it.

 

[bornfree]

Your reply is so filled with empathy from start to finish, that it made my heart feel warm, almost like i've been hugged through words.
As someone who constantly doubts myself and my depression, feeling like i'm just looking for excuses and that it's all my fault... I really needed this hug.

Thank you so much!

thanks. But i have done nothing to change your circumstances or fulfill your hopes or help you get access to assisted suicide. I am not protecting you or healing your will to live so I'm sorry but your thanks seem empty.

I hope you support the legalisation of assisted suicide. That's what my empathy is directed at primarily though i have other thoughts about a humane response from a non medicalised suicide system.

You are the victim of the utter failure to care. The progress of you misery and pain and hopelessness and all the other things that make dying such a great thing to do are because you have been utterly failed. They simply have no mercy for suicidal individuals or the capacity to have the empathy to be motivated by the horrific awfulness of feeling suicidal. Much as you like i can blame ourselves for our faults and failures we live in a time in history where there simply is not anything that resembles a humane suicide system or society or culture or civilisation. In the UK they could only manage to bear to decriminalise the act of suicide in the last century and that's how utterly barbaric to suicidal individuals they are. They are so cruel and they are still so cruel they do not recognise the inherent cruelty in the acts of forcing someone to live thus they do so much more cruelty to this suicidal and so many others like me who simply can't live in safety because the human race are as barbaric as monsters. Forcing someone to live should be the last act of cruelty a suicidal individual should be expected to face and this is the standard of care of a humane suicide system.

You might hear my anger speaking here. i am living proof that the human race are monsters and they have never cared about a suicidal individual before not least because they think assisted suicide is ever a crime. What i see is they protect their freedom to make a suicidal individual want to die. What i feel is they don't give a damn about not furthering and worsening suicidality and don't care about what are wholly unacceptable consequences for a suicidal individual. When they already have so much proof like i do that they're only going to keep me suicidal and keep on making me want to die they are so barbaric that still they deny me access to assisted suicide.

Then they blame me for using drink and drugs. They blame me for my feelings of having betrayed by everyone so they deny me access to assisted suicide to perfect their complete betrayal of my humanity. They blame me for failing to earn the money i needed to have a livable quality of life. They blame me for failing to make enough money so i could hire people to make my life better and to always be on my side. They blame me for my withdrawing into my inner world which is a coping mechanism i had to develop when i was a child because of the merciless emotional abuse i faced then continued to face in my adult life from other forces than my parents. Because that's what the medicalised suicide system and the prevailing culture teaches them to do. The medicalised suicide system and suicide laws are particularly evil because they base the explanation of the cause of suicidality as a defective brain and a defective mind and ultimately it believes suicidal individuals become suicidal and stay suicidal because there's something wrong with us.

So suicidal individuals are victims of force and deprivation of liberty and imprisonment and being deprived the protection of human rights because the monsters believe that the fault is with suicidal individuals. But the cruelty the monsters want to do to a suicidal individual..the pain the monsters have no heart to guide them to not inflict on a suicidal individual..it is unlimited and they are free. There are no humane protections that deprive non suicidal individuals of rights and liberty to protect suicidal individuals. I am victim to this.

You can take a few points from this rant. The point i make poorly here is the competency to care about this suicidal individual and every other doesn't exist yet. Yes mental health and psychiatric care does work but it's a sense of care without humane protections and it is a sense of care that in my extensive personal experience has no such concept as what is too cruel to do to a suicidal individual. They are so free to do whatever evil and cruelty to a suicidal individual because they do not have the competency to care and the medicalised suicide system doesn't deprive the monsters of their freedom or liberty or rights. Only we suicidal individuals lose our rights and liberty and this is justified as essential to care by the standards of care of monsters.

Perhaps you don't see what i see. I've been suicidal for a decade continuously. It's about 15 years of my life i have spent suicidal. This is not because of the success of care. There is no competency to care. This is the result of the profound sense of cruelty of the monsters who call themselves the human race and the barbaric cruelty they always do to suicidal individuals.

I have the assessment of the care i face and i know the competency to care does not exist. This is one reason to get access to assisted suicide when a suicidal individual makes a judgement about whether the competency to care does or does not exist.

i have not protected you so i deserve no thanks.