Is there any part of you that hates SaSu?

[sincerely dead]

Again I am really sorry if anything I said was offensive. I really don't mean for it to come across like a pro-lifer. I am just trying to express my own personal sadness and perhaps I worded it wrong. Sorry if I offended anyone.

 

[Cage]

Why are you even here then if you hate the place? What kind of response do you expect to get it when you're literally asking "do you hate this forum" ON THE FORUM ITSELF?

You know there's a Recovery section right? You probably could've asked it there, but no, you're clogging up the Suicide Discussion with this rage-bait of a post because you're upset your friend used this site for her own benefit.

If you're really suicidal too, surely you understand why your friend did the same right? Why are you trying to get some sort of revenge for her? Are you actually pro-choice or are you just pretending to have a "nuanced" opinion as cover for being pro-life?

I'm sorry you're hurting over your friend's suicide, but if you're looking to vent and lament over it, this is not the place for it.

 

[voyager]

Again I am really sorry if anything I said was offensive. I really don't mean for it to come across like a pro-lifer. I am just trying to express my own personal sadness and perhaps I worded it wrong. Sorry if I offended anyone.

You didn't, not me at least, and I think if you were a radical pro-lifer you wouldn't expose yourself as such so evidently, and while I do understand your conflict, as mentioned, to me, respectfully, it sounded asthough you'd show yourself more understanding than you would others in essentially the same pain, and that in essence is the crux of the entire matter. It's natural though. We all see the world from our own perspective, but that's exactly why this has to be about self-determination without anybody else's interference.

PS: Wishing people well on this last step to me is not encouragement, but just the decent and compassionate thing to do. I presume, that's what you were referring to.

 

[ddn.ctb]

Just mad that there is a need for it.

 

[sincerely dead]

Why are you even here then if you hate the place? What kind of response do you expect to get it when you're literally asking "do you hate this forum" ON THE FORUM ITSELF?

You know there's a Recovery section right? You probably could've asked it there, but no, you're clogging up the Suicide Discussion with this rage-bait of a post because you're upset your friend used this site for her own benefit.

If you're really suicidal too, surely you understand why your friend did the same right? Why are you trying to get some sort of revenge for her? Are you actually pro-choice or are you just pretending to have a "nuanced" opinion as cover for being pro-life?

I'm sorry you're hurting over your friend's suicide, but if you're looking to vent and lament over it, this is not the place for it.

Damn sorry I'll never say a word of it again

 

[movinout17]

I love h

love this place, but there is always a small part of me that hates that i am here.
a part of me that hates the fact that im even suicidal. the part of me that wishes i wasnt so sick so i wouldnt have to go here. the part of me that hates that of all places, this is where i find community. the very small part of me that yearns to be more "normal", which has died and died and died over the years until it became a pebble

I can empathize. I love what you wrote, the last sentence especially. I have conflicting thoughts too

 

[Seered Doom]

Damn sorry I'll never say a word of it again

Hey, are you okay? I understand how hard it is to battle a contradictory mindset. It can be difficult, especially with having such strong emotions swinging both ways. It's screwed up, yet it exists. If a memorial post for her can allow you some room to express your grief over such a thing, that might help. A way to give tribute to her if it were. May she rest well and be at peace forevermore.

 

[ForgottenAgain]

I understand what you feel, I can relate. I don't think that makes you pro life, just makes you want others to be able to recover and feel better.
It is conflicting because someone dying will always be a sad and traumatic event, even if you believe that person is now at peace. People disappearing and never being seen again, like when dying, is sad and we don't wish that to others. It's easier to wish that with ourselves...

For me, I dislike that the website has to exist. I dislike that it may make others succumb to suicide when they could otherwise get treated. Apart from that, I like this website.

I think this website and people's experiences has changed my view on suicide, given it more nuance. I don't think you could speak about suicide and get understood like it happens here, anywhere else. Even speaking to the nurses at the psychiatric hospital or the psychiatrist, everyone listens to you but there's a point where they block what you're saying. There's no open mindness or further understanding, there is a limit.
Here, there isn't.

This is a dark special place.

 

[Orange Cat]

I'm very sorry about your friend. You shouldn't feel bad or apologize for grieving her death. Your feelings are normal. You are obviously a kind person and a good friend. Just because you are suicidal yourself doesn't mean that you are pro death and want everyone else to die too. You aren't selfish wishing the best for other people and hoping that they can recover.

I wouldn't be happy if I found out that someone close to me was on this site. I would want them to try to get help first before going through with killing themself. I think that suicide should be the last option - not the first one someone chooses.

 

[SpaxeZ]

I hate it how it makes every method seem so impossible which is actually for my own good by giving telling the risks to not end up in a worse situation kinda showing the realism which hits hard sometimes.

 

[leavingthesoultrap]

I'm not conflicted about this place. I would CTB even without it. I was googling specific methods and this site popped up. If it didn't I would simply find a different source of information.

 

[ForeverBroken]

Please hear me out. Hate is a strong word.
But I feel conflicted. Like there are two parts of me that are at absolute war with each other.
The suicidal side of me loves this place and finds so much comfort and hope in it. The secrecy of logging onto it without my friends knowing it exists is so peaceful. I can truly taste suicide when I am talking to all of you. It feels attainable.
But on the other token, I lost my very best friend because she got her materials on this website. My childhood best friend.
And then I am outraged.
I don't WANT other people to end their life. I don't want other people to be on this website finding comfort that they too can CTB. I want everyone here to get help, get better, find hope, find love, find purpose.
But then I feel selfish.

I feel selfish for wanting the comfort but wanting it to be taken away from others.
I feel selfish when I let that go and decide to truly be pro choice.
I feel selfish either way.

I could never comment on someone's thread encouraging them to follow through their plans. But I'd want that if I were me.

Why am I like this? Why am I conflicted?

Am I the only person that struggles?

Please don't come at me for being some pro-life freak. I really just am hurting and all this extra media coverage lately is making me just feel awful.

You aren't alone in how you feel. I don't hate this place but I have the same conflicted feelings. Death is complicated so it stands to reason that one can have mixed feelings over it. I haven't lost any friends to suicide but my son has lost two, one who used to come to our house all the time when they were in school. It still hurts. So I can see your feelings regarding your friend. And I'm sorry that you lost them.

 

[IWishToDie]

Please hear me out. Hate is a strong word.
But I feel conflicted. Like there are two parts of me that are at absolute war with each other.
The suicidal side of me loves this place and finds so much comfort and hope in it. The secrecy of logging onto it without my friends knowing it exists is so peaceful. I can truly taste suicide when I am talking to all of you. It feels attainable.
But on the other token, I lost my very best friend because she got her materials on this website. My childhood best friend.
And then I am outraged.
I don't WANT other people to end their life. I don't want other people to be on this website finding comfort that they too can CTB. I want everyone here to get help, get better, find hope, find love, find purpose.
But then I feel selfish.

I feel selfish for wanting the comfort but wanting it to be taken away from others.
I feel selfish when I let that go and decide to truly be pro choice.
I feel selfish either way.

I could never comment on someone's thread encouraging them to follow through their plans. But I'd want that if I were me.

Why am I like this? Why am I conflicted?

Am I the only person that struggles?

Please don't come at me for being some pro-life freak. I really just am hurting and all this extra media coverage lately is making me just feel awful.

I love this place and I think it's invaluable for so many people. At the same time, I've come across a few users who I know in my heart should just wait, let time heal them. They aren't physically disabled or anything like that and seem to be just experiencing a temporary issue. Their minds are clouded because they are young and inexperienced, they are NOWHERE near rock bottom. They just need advice and to try a new approach/change their lifestyle. This is what I hate. Ultimately, I support everyone's right to die but not minors (if I'm being honest). If you turn 18 and want to die, you've explored every option -- it's up to you.

 

[girl2910]

I'm glad I found the site

 

[Slow_Farewell]

Not hate. I'm big fan of individual choice so it's like, I'd rather it exists and not need it, rather than need it and not have access to it. It does come with a cost though, because a lot of people can access it.

The posts, well, it's up to each individual and there's always the option to not engage, but that's another story.