Is there any LGBT people here?

[snack]

Are you here because of discrimination issues? Homophobia?

 

[Hhhh]

Kind of? Im a lesbian, afraid to come out because of my parents&country. It plays a part in my wish to die.

 

[snack]

Kind of? Im a lesbian, afraid to come out because of my parents&country. It plays a part in my wish to die.

Where are you from?

 

[Escaper Boy]

I am gay and I live in homophobic country. I can't really say that being LGBT made me suicidal. Well, at first I was freaking out when I discovered my orientation. It certainly "forced" me to navigate life differently compared to people around me.

For example, I couldn't accept monotheistic religions as "ultimate truth" due to their homophobic teaching. In my country, everyone must practice religion. Being a non religious is not allowed by the law. I always hate religion subject in school. I had to pretend to be a "believer" in order to get A in exams.

I also need to let go of "normal" teenage life. There was no dating, no romance, non existent love life. I always need to hide in order to stay safe. If I were born in LGBT friendly country, my aspiration would be to get married and have kids. Too bad, reality forced me to throw that dream into the garbage bin.

But, still. I want to CTB mainly due to lack of financial success. I feel trapped without wealth. If I have unlimited money, I would exit this shitty country and change my citizenship ASAP. Norway seems like a good place to start a new life.

 

[iwannaendme]

I am but just a few friends know about it. I know that my family would hate me for this lol. But yeah, I have white hair so people are staring at me like they never seen white hair and it's quite annoying lol. So it has some part of why I wanna ctb.

 

[Sayo]

I suppose it plays a role, but it's not even in the top five most major causes for me personally. My bisexuality contributed to my poor socialisation and alienated development; it probably also played a role in my earliest existential crises, though they would have happened anyway. More directly, I'll almost certainly never pursue my same-sex interests again for pragmatic reasons, and I'm uninterested in dating the opposite sex. I'm fairly intrinsically motivated and a loner anyway, but absence of community ties and absence of companionship are partial contributions to my absence of overall interest in continuing despite my condition.

I have accepting parents (in that they may be ignorant but acceptance comes first) and some accepting relatives; I've had accepting friends (most of my friends are LGBT); legal conditions are improving in my country, and social ones to some extent, for LGBT people. I don't experience distress and my dysphoria doesn't make me suicidal by itself any more. It certainly enhances my distrust of others and my bitterness. I do feel that the state of being unfathomable to others and excessively hidden is terrible, and it's part of it.

 

[snack]

I suppose it plays a role, but it's not even in the top five most major causes for me personally. My bisexuality contributed to my poor socialisation and alienated development; it probably also played a role in my earliest existential crises, though they would have happened anyway. More directly, I'll almost certainly never pursue my same-sex interests again for pragmatic reasons, and I'm uninterested in dating the opposite sex. I'm fairly intrinsically motivated and a loner anyway, but absence of community ties and absence of companionship are partial contributions to my absence of overall interest in continuing despite my condition.

I have accepting parents (in that they may be ignorant but acceptance comes first) and some accepting relatives; I've had accepting friends (most of my friends are LGBT); legal conditions are improving in my country, and social ones to some extent, for LGBT people. I don't experience distress and my dysphoria doesn't make me suicidal by itself any more. It certainly enhances my distrust of others and my bitterness. I do feel that the state of being unfathomable to others and excessively hidden is terrible, and it's part of it.

I know what you mean. I'm bisexual too. Nobody accepted me, but I was able to accept myself. But I'm also transgender. And gender dysphoria is the main reason why I want to commit suicide.

 

[Halo13]

I am but just a few friends know about it. I know that my family would hate me for this lol. But yeah, I have white hair so people are staring at me like they never seen white hair and it's quite annoying lol. So it has some part of why I wanna ctb.

Years ago one of my exes actually paid alot of money trying to get white hair. I think it sounds beautiful! I have really light colored hair naturally and it's totally weird when people decide it's okay to just touch it. Stranger danger lol

 

[iwannaendme]

Years ago one of my exes actually paid alot of money trying to get white hair. I think it sounds beautiful! I have really light colored hair naturally and it's totally weird when people decide it's okay to just touch it. Stranger danger lol

Haha, actually it was supposed to be light blonde, but somehow it ended with white and I was happy with it so I kept it. Also my natural color is brown so it was pretty big change:D

 

[Hhhh]

Where are you from?

Poland, an extremely catholic country. People here are nuts.

 

[Exile]

Being gay is great. Homophobia isn't and causes a lot of anxiety and depression. I used to be a lot more patient with homophobes but as time goes on I become more militant. We owe them nothing.

 

[StillWaiting]

No it wasnt the cause for me to be here. I found out that I love girls after I become depressed.

 

[iwannaendme]

Poland, an extremely catholic country. People here are nuts.

lol, we live so close

 

[snack]

Poland, an extremely catholic country. People here are nuts.

I am from Russia. Trust me, you're not that bad. Here is a very intolerant and angry people. I have long been a Russophobe in the shower.

 

[want to die 25]

I'm lesbian. And because of this I have some trouble.
But it's not the reason why I want to CTB.

In Germany there are still some people that don't accept this. But I don't hide it. And the most don't have problems with it.

My parents can't accept. But I don't care. I will not change because of others. My parents tried to put the devil out of me. That make me to be gay.
But I don't let anyone to dicide about my life.

Of course I'm in the lucky position that I will not go in prison because of that.
I'm sorry for everyone that people are so stupid and don't understand that its not there decision with whom I want to sleep.

I wish everyone that it get better.

 

[Halo13]

Haha, actually it was supposed to be light blonde, but somehow it ended with white and I was happy with it so I kept it. Also my natural color is brown so it was pretty big change:D

Haha I get you. My hair was practically white when I was a kid. Heard any dumb blonde jokes yet?

 

[Sanguinius]

I think I'm bisexual or lesbian, I like sexuality with men but I only really fell in love with girls (sadly, I was always crossed in love), so far.

 

[GreyMagic]

I'm bisexual, but strictly in the closet about it. Not because I am scared of people's reaction more because haven't needed to tell anyone and doubt I ever will. Although in a dream world I think would prefer a girlfriend over a boyfriend then maybe I might come clean and tell people close to me. But nobody who is sane would find me attractive in this lifetime.

However, I'll always remember a time when I went clubbing and went to the toilet on my own. Doing what I always do - avoiding mirrors. Anyway, this beautiful girl reached out and cradled my head telling me I was gorgeous and shouldn't avoid mirrors. Then this girl just pushed me gently against the wall and snogged the living day lights out of me. Then winked at me and left the toilets.

Just wow. Even now years later I'm astonished that something like that would happen to somebody as ugly me.

 

[Alchemist]

I'd say bisexual, but it's strange for me. I feel sexual attraction to men, but I just have never felt attached romantically to one. Hell, even bonding with guys is hard, I tend to get along with women better.

 

[Rose]

I'm bisexual & a transgirl. Being bisexual hasn't given me much pain (except for some minor identity issues and teasing in highschool, but I was already an awkward outcast anyway)
Being trans, though... feels like I'm chasing an image I'll never catch up to. I can see how so many people manage to become happy with themselves, but let's just say my expectations for change & everything are way too high

It's not the only reason I'm here, I have plenty, but dysphoria is a big one. I can see why the suicide rate for us is so high. Even without external transphobia present (which in my experience, it nearly always is. Even if it's more mild in some places), internalized transphobia & all of the other issues that come with being trans are really bad. Not something I can personally handle

 

[snack]

I'm bisexual & a transgirl. Being bisexual hasn't given me much pain (except for some minor identity issues and teasing in highschool, but I was already an awkward outcast anyway)
Being trans, though... feels like I'm chasing an image I'll never catch up to. I can see how so many people manage to become happy with themselves, but let's just say my expectations for change & everything are way too high

It's not the only reason I'm here, I have plenty, but dysphoria is a big one. I can see why the suicide rate for us is so high. Even without external transphobia present (which in my experience, it nearly always is. Even if it's more mild in some places), internalized transphobia & all of the other issues that come with being trans are really bad. Not something I can personally handle

Yes, I understand you. Life literally raped me. Gender dysphoria is one of the worst things that can happen to a person. I think the only thing worse is turret's syndrome.

 

[Funkbunny]

It has a role, but it's certainly not the main reason... In my case.

 

[ge0rge]

I'm a gay dude who's very much into dudes and honestly me being gay is a source of happiness and does not affect my suicidality in any way

 

[Taki]

I'm a gay man and it has played a role, mainly because I dealt with it so badly and I threw away the chance to meet someone. Being lonely all the time is torture. But being gay isn't my only reason.

 

[restingspot]

B and T here. Being bisexual isn't a big deal and infact it's opened up a lot of doors for me in terms of dating. But being transsexual and having gender dysphoria is a part of my suicidal tendencies, and I'm considered on the "light" end of the "dysphoric spectrum." I'll never have a biologically cis male body and can only live it out in my lucid dreams, where everything is where it should be, then I wake up and lay there, considering partial suspension for the 1000th time because it's another day in the same shitty body. I've had the chance to get hormone replacement therapy TWICE and ended up moving back to my parent's house both times because of unrelated reasons. It seems like no matter what I try to do to better myself life puts a boot in my face and tells me to fuck off.

I'll be 25 this year and still in a female body and every year that goes by feels like a year of potential wasted. I'll never be able to get it back. Can't transition at home because it's not an ideal environment. It feels like I won't be able to transition until I'm 30, but I'd rather just ctb at that point because maximum physical potential is gone and progressive aging starts. At least in death I won't have dysphoria.

 

[blanketyblk]

Lesbian here, been out for ages. Work is accepting and generally Australia is an ok place to be Gay now. Very little hate crimes, except for stupid frigging religious footballers who decided to post stupid messages on instagram and complaining when they get fired.

Being gay isn't why I want to CBT, it just made my life harder than it need to be. But on the flip side being a lesbian rocks

 

[clarelively]

Questioning bisexual living in a homophobic country, hello

Kind of? Im a lesbian, afraid to come out because of my parents&country. It plays a part in my wish to die.

I too live in a homophobic country and family, but i'm trying to get myself out one at a time, starting with my closest friend, then circle, then (if possible) everyone. I suggest you to start from your most inner circle. Trust me, there is someone who will accept you for who you are <3

 

[Wixer]

I'm gay, but I haven't experienced much overt personal homophobia in my life. I think it helped that I'm a little bit intimidating physically; I grew up with smaller guys who later came out to me and told me about being cornered and beaten by peers. I can't imagine the strength it must take trying to survive in highly intolerant cultures that some people have to deal with.

 

[Conflicted Cat]

I'm bisexual. I have never been suicidal because of it, because there's no real reason to even tell anyone. I don't need to yell it from the rooftops that I'm bisexual.

 

[Queer_Kenny]

I'm Gay, and I've experienced lots of discrimination and been victimized by Homophobic bigots. It's gotten really bad lately too, which is partially why I'm back! I was away for a few months, and if I can admit this, the reason I was away was because I tried to hang myself back in April, on Good Friday to be exact. Couldn't believe someone caught me before it was too late!