Discussion Is there any hope for the social failures?

[RosebyAnyName]

What the title says. Is there any hope of living a happy life for those who are complete, incurable social failures? Is life ever worth living for the people who are completely incapable of forming and maintaining meaningful friendships and relationship, including having no positive family relationships?

 

[ipmanwc0]

I think it's possible for anyone if they put the effort in (or are lucky). If you don't have social skills you can develop them, if you have autism, try meeting others with autism, etc.

 

[fadedghost]

What the title says. Is there any hope of living a happy life for those who are complete, incurable social failures? Is life ever worth living for the people who are completely incapable of forming and maintaining meaningful friendships and relationship, including having no positive family relationships?

it depends on what you want. if you just want any social existence, social skills can be learned, people can improve in their social skills and make friends even if isolated, so yes, someone isolated can become happy if they are able to work on thing and just want a social network and friends, etc

in terms of romantic relationships, it's harder because it's based on physical attraction and if no one is hitting on you, and you've made profiles on the dating Apps, you may or may not find someone to be with romantically, and there's a part of that (looks) that you can't totally control. some people have happy lives while single, some people really want a relationship and may get it or may not. sometimes people do find someone and it just takes a while.

have you tried volunteering somewhere to interact with people? or trying meetup.com?

 

[DeusVult]

I am in your situation and I have actually gone insane. As in I scream uncontrollably and cry and destroy cars in public and stare blankly into space for hours. I have completely lost it, because literally no one cares I even exist and it is actually impossible to form any relationship. I tried so hard, no one cares about you if you're not beautiful or evil.

 

[Captive_Mind515]

I can't speak for anyone else, but I know there's no hope for me in this regard. Extreme social anxiety and ocd... etc etc... I'm a lost cause basically. But I don't care anymore.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I think it depends how much you need people. I struggle socially. I can't say I have no friends or family but, most are estranged. I spend upwards of maybe 96% of the time on my own. I'm pretty lucky though in- that it suits me.

Sometimes I think we maybe need to have had enough bad experiences to realise that we're not solely missing out. We are saving ourselves! That's my bias now anyway. Maybe because I tend to remember the more unpleasant times!

I think it does depend on the rest of our lives though. I'm also lucky in that I can usually distract myself. My work is very demanding when I have it- I just tend to lose myself in that. I like distractions on in the background too- films, music, pod casts- whatever. Free time, I love to get lost in video games.

I'm actually the reverse in that days I know I won't see a soul. No deliveries coming etc. I feel so relieved.

But, maybe it's more about finding your own level. I would struggle with no interaction with people. I have one friend I still text with semi regularly. Plus, this forum is so valuable to me. Maybe it's not so much about pushing for (in) real life connections but, finding something that works.

I suppose though ultimately- no one will be happy in a situation if they feel like they are missing out on something. I suppose a lot in life we are supposed to want- parties, relationships, high flying jobs etc.- I just tend to try and envisage myself in those scenarios and figure I'd likely hate them! So- realistically speaking- I know I can't want those things. I'm better off as I am.