Is there any feeling worse in the world than unfulfilled potential?

[Wayfaerer]

I've had three points in my life where I thought it I was heading upwards with a high trajectory only for it to be sabotaged in some fashion. I see now all that I could've accomplished if only things had been just slightly different. It's incredible how little it takes to throw someone off course. It's never made me as bitter as it has now, because the third (and last) time was the most promising of them all. Now I am left only with "what could have been," nay, "what should have been" while I wait at the bus stop.

 

[BPD Barbie]

Ugh, yes. It's a horrible feeling. I often think about what would have been or what should have been and it made me bitter for a long time and resentful towards other people. I managed to let go of some of those feelings now and feel better for it, but every now and then the wound opens back up and I'm reminded how much of a failure I am and how much potential was utterly wasted.

 

[WornOutLife]

I totally agree with you and the older you become, the worse it gets.

 

[greebo6]

'What if / could have been...' yep ,horrible feeling .I know the feeling all too well sadly.

 

[Binami]

There's an alternate universe where I could have had a good life.
I'm always being complimented and told about this or that or something else I should be doing.
I kind of ruined that all for myself though, so I'm stuck with fantasies of a future that could have been.

 

[Shades of Grey]

I feel you.

I ended up where I thought I wanted to be (gave up everything that mattered to get there) and am now trapped in a bad situation with no transferable skills.

It's hard not to think about what could have been if I'd invested that time, money, and energy elsewhere.

 

[LastFlowers]

Yea it's pretty bad, all my potential was squandered because of things outside of my control. I see what those close to me were given and I imagine all the things I could do with the luck they've had, with the bodies and faces they inhabit while I suffer and suffocate in mine, which has never allowed me to be "me". I feel like I had so much to say, more than those around me who had a voice where I did not. I feel like I had so much yet to become. I had ambitions and dreams, perhaps to the point of delusions of grandeur. (The more realistic ones likely mixed with maladaptive daydreaming because of my situation).
Still, I wanted to succeed, I never wanted or asked for the typical things people do in life besides a physical form I could be content and identify with. But I am so fatigued and defeated, the tools aren't there and the energy has been zapped. So any potential I had in other areas of life has mostly rotted by now. Along with my youth and hope. Sometimes I question whether I ever really had anything in me to do great things, but I think that's because where I ended up is so far from where I ever thought I would be. So what seemed possible once now seems like the goals of another person, lost a long time ago. And then it feels like the potential was just a mirage of another life I comforted myself with, that was never in the cards for me. But I will never know now, what could have been. Because what I need to live and to even TRY, has always evaded me.

 

[niki wonoto]

I can completely relate too with this post. I'm almost 40 yrs old, and my life now has been nothing but a series of failure after failure, and it's just getting worse. A lot of people -if not all/everybody- told me that I'm very musically-talented (yes I'm a musician/songwriter/composer, but a failure one). I admit that it's not just because of my parents (I'm an Asian, or to be exact Chinese-Indonesian, so you all probably know what I mean), or luck (as with many things, or even everything, in life); but mostly I admit that perhaps it's just me myself, I'm the one who's sabotaging my own future, success, etc etc (eg: I kept saying I'm severely depressed, but idk, maybe it's true that I've been lazy, procrastinating, not doing anything much, etc etc). I just hate myself so much. Now everything is probably already too late. It makes me even more depressed & suicidal.

 

[again_noidea]

I can completely relate too with this post. I'm almost 40 yrs old, and my life now has been nothing but a series of failure after failure, and it's just getting worse. A lot of people -if not all/everybody- told me that I'm very musically-talented (yes I'm a musician/songwriter/composer, but a failure one). I admit that it's not just because of my parents (I'm an Asian, or to be exact Chinese-Indonesian, so you all probably know what I mean), or luck (as with many things, or even everything, in life); but mostly I admit that perhaps it's just me myself, I'm the one who's sabotaging my own future, success, etc etc (eg: I kept saying I'm severely depressed, but idk, maybe it's true that I've been lazy, procrastinating, not doing anything much, etc etc). I just hate myself so much. Now everything is probably already too late. It makes me even more depressed & suicidal.

at least you have that skill, i mean you can create something, no matter if others see it as a success. i envy you, i would love to be able to create music.I wish you find happiness and the energy to compose some music that springs from your inner core!

 

[callme]

I do want to remind you the moral and behavioral part of success may not be what you like or expect. If you had to fulfill your potential, you'd have, just like anybody else successful resort to actions, mindset and life direction could have easily lead you straight back to a miserable end.

 

[Painless_end]

You are like me. I also have a could have, should have feeling about something.

People say don't worry about the past, focus on present.

But the problem with my specific situation is that the present and future is somewhat badly damaged because of the past and nothing I can do now in the present will set things right to what they could have been.

To be fair to myself, I did try my hardest all through my life until now to make the right decisions for me, considering my mental issues, but somewhere those decisions were always based on having to avoid XYZ stuff because my mind signalled to me about my weaknesses.

I feel like I shouldn't have the kind of crippling mental weaknesses I do in the first place.

 

[Darkmoon Queen]

I think the worst feeling for me is only ever reaching a certain point and then watching the steady decline from there. No matter what action I take. It's maddening, like I'm on tracks I can't get off.

 

[FuneralCry]

It can be painful to reflect on what could have happened. Losing hope can be an awful feeling which is why I see it as better to have none in the first place. However I see everything as being out of our control anyway. Chance determines everything in this life. I think in my case, I have never had potential for anything in the first place, I was doomed from the start.

 

[eternalmelancholy]

People say don't worry about the past, focus on present.

But the problem with my specific situation is that the present and future is somewhat badly damaged because of the past and nothing I can do now in the present will set things right to what they could have been.

Past actions determine present circumstances. Just like present actions will determine what our future lives will be like. I guess people are right that you can't do anything about the past but at the same time it feels like a giant coping mechanism to say the past doesn't matter.

The problem with being suicidal is you are stuck in this loop where you don't really live life but you're not dead either. So you're trapped in this purgatory while your life keeps spiraling out of control due to inaction. At least that is my experience.

 

[Makko]

Is there any feeling worse in the world than unfulfilled potential?​

The feeling that you fulfilled your potential and it gave you no reward

 

[PeacefulTonic]

It's a pretty shitty feeling, since I had everything going for me just up until a few months ago. Now I'll never realize all that potential because there's no moving forward from where I am in my life

 

[callme]

The feeling that you fulfilled your potential and it gave you no reward

It's entirely possible in chess. Interesting, never heard of a chess player taking their life.