Discussion is the (potential) pain of ctb'ing keeping anyone from doing it?

[ghostofapoet]

i've been wondering about this for a while. i don't really have access to any peaceful methods so i have to default to more 'intense' ones + i always end up scolding myself for being a coward for simply not jumping from a window or slicing myself open.

but, is anyone else afraid of the pain of a ctb? i know that i want to die, but i just can't seem to find the courage to push myself over the edge.

 

[outrider567]

i've been wondering about this for a while. i don't really have access to any peaceful methods so i have to default to more 'intense' ones + i always end up scolding myself for being a coward for simply not jumping from a window or slicing myself open.

but, is anyone else afraid of the pain of a ctb? i know that i want to die, but i just can't seem to find the courage to push myself over the edge.

No, because there's no pain or discomfort associated with Nitrogen

 

[Valky]

Obviously, our Survival Instincts are a thing after all.

 

[StaticCryBabye]

Personally, I don't feel scared instead, I'm kind of excited and relieved. My chosen method is SN, and Ive recieved my SN last night. Although I do still feel anxious and a little bit scared at times due to survival instinct.

 

[FuneralCry]

Methods like cutting aren't reliable anyway, and I don't think that jumping is the best idea unless it's somewhere really high, it would just lead to injuries if it's not high enough. But I'm also trapped here because suicide is just so unneccessarily difficult in this anti-suicide society where we are denied options of more peaceful ways to die, the problem with a more painful method is that it's more likely that the survival instinct could kick in, stopping one from going through with it, and of course the fear of failure is what scares me, it sounds so horrific attempting ctb and suffering much more from injuries. It's just such a hellish world where we cannot just pass away in peace without risks and complications.

 

[that_guy2611]

I haven't done it yet because i was afraid of messing up and failing, nowadays shit is bad enough so it makes little difference

 

[Green_leaf]

No, because there's no pain or discomfort associated with Nitrogen

That is not exactly the case I'm afraid.

 

[loyalskateboard]

It is a big concern of mine.

 

[outrider567]

That is not exactly the case I'm afraid.

Yes, that is the case--Greenberg, GasMonkey and Tired Horse have all confirmed it, they're experts, and you're not

 

[Unknown21]

me. The only thing that prevents me to ctb is pain and suffering. But in some point I'll never give a shit about anything and do it regardless how painful is.

 

[Little_Suzy]

No, because life is far longer than five minutes of agony!

Fear of pain is not an excuse, since I thought the main goal of ctb was to alleviate pain.

The pro-choice ideology that so many people cling to contains many seemingly incongruous claims.

 

[quietly_gone]

yeah, people in this community have been kind enough to share their experiences on their failed attempts at my method of choice, which is SN, and although most if not all of them don't describe any kind of pain, i'm still paranoid it'll somehow be different for me lol

 

[thecolourgold]

I'm not scared of death, however I have a pretty reliable method for full suspension. Every time I step up I look down and I can't step off or jump off or anything. Survival instinct, not fear. It sucks. I'm hoping I get over it. I've tried partial and night night with no luck. Also tried ODing several times in my younger years but that doesn't work if you don't order the right thing.

 

[quietly_gone]

No, because life is far longer than five minutes of agony!

Fear of pain is not an excuse, since I thought the main goal of ctb was to alleviate pain.

The pro-choice ideology that so many people cling to contains many seemingly incongruous claims.

of course it is an excuse... if it wasn't that much of a deal, this forum wouldn't exist at all because suicide would be easy. we'd need no resources, no peer support. even if we psychologically are unafraid of it, physically, our SI kicks in and by the last moment it makes us afraid to death. i've attempted many times and you can't tell me i survived because i'm "pro-choice" — i survived because my body is programmed to react strongly to pain.

 

[NoLightRemains]

I'm not afraid of the pain/discomfort of SN, I'm afraid of the anxiety/struggle with SI. Just working on building my resolve to be able to power through the shakes/panic.

 

[Little_Suzy]

of course it is an excuse... if it wasn't that much of a deal, this forum wouldn't exist at all because suicide would be easy. we'd need no resources, no peer support. even if we psychologically are unafraid of it, physically, our SI kicks in and by the last moment it makes us afraid to death. i've attempted many times and you can't tell me i survived because i'm "pro-choice" — i survived because my body is programmed to react strongly to pain.

There is physical and emotional pain, so I'm not sure which one people are referring to if they don't specify.

It's more "emotional doubt" than physical/mental pain for me.

It's apprehension of the unknown. I'm not sure whether I'm leaving a horrible circumstance (in my case, depression) for someplace more serene and free of mental illness.

Is it true that the grass is greener on the other side? Have I done everything possible to turn this side's grass green?

Suicidal does not imply "intention to commit suicide with a plan."

Many folks aren't ready, and that's okay.

People are frightened to declare they are not ready because they may feel like a phony on this suicide website.

However, it is OK to state that "you are not ready" and to continue to educate yourself on the process.

I'm only trying to show people that just expressing "I'm not ready" is sufficient, and no other explanation is required to be believed.

I believe everyone on this site, and they are not required to prove themselves in any way. Being here and educating oneself is sufficient.


This site is both dismal and unsettling; non-suicidal people will leave quickly! lol

 

[thecolourgold]

There is physical and emotional pain, so I'm not sure which one people are referring to if they don't specify.

It's more "emotional doubt" than physical/mental pain for me.

It's apprehension of the unknown. I'm not sure whether I'm leaving a horrible circumstance (in my case, depression) for someplace more serene and free of mental illness.

Is it true that the grass is greener on the other side? Have I done everything possible to turn this side's grass green?

Suicidal does not imply "intention to commit suicide with a plan."

Many folks aren't ready, and that's okay.

People are frightened to declare they are not ready because they may feel like a phony on this suicide website.

However, it is OK to state that "you are not ready" and to continue to educate yourself on the process.

I'm only trying to show people that just expressing "I'm not ready" is sufficient, and no other explanation is required to be believed.

I believe everyone on this site, and they are not required to prove themselves in any way. Being here and educating oneself is sufficient.


This site is both dismal and unsettling; non-suicidal people will leave quickly! lol

This is an awesome addition, thank you. I feel like saying you are not ready- financially, emotionally, physically, mentally, is so stigmatized, but you're right, it is okay. I can't get over my survival instinct yet but, I'd like to, and I'm getting closer. I hope anyone who isn't ready, who wants to try getting better, or who seeks help feels safe to share those feelings

 

[Little_Suzy]

This is an awesome addition, thank you. I feel like saying you are not ready- financially, emotionally, physically, mentally, is so stigmatized, but you're right, it is okay. I can't get over my survival instinct yet but, I'd like to, and I'm getting closer. I hope anyone who isn't ready, who wants to try getting better, or who seeks help feels safe to share those feelings

Humans have been socialized to fear death. This is why people are afraid to die, even if they die naturally. This is the survival instinct that many people describe.

Very true! Personal circumstances play a significant role. I assumed that suicidal folks were still around because "nobody knows where we are going." If you don't know where you're going, that's enough to cause uncertainty, and "you're not ready." Others are so desperate that they would take anything that is not here, and "they're gone." This, to me, is the most significant distinction.

 

[freedompass]

You don't have to have hope to live. You don't have to have goals, dreams or a purpose. You are free to hate every single moment, detest consciousness and wake up with the horror of another day to be endured. I know, because I've lived this reality for a big chunk of my adult life. 61 now and hate existence as much as ever but I've simultaneously come to the conclusion that I may never even come close to actually ctb. Thoughts are one thing. Having a plan is fine but however shit this life is it is all I know…and it always seems easier to live another day than to put that plan into action.

 

[Forever Sleep]

Yes- definitely. I'm scared of the pain, the distress and likely panic I might feel- I'd likely go out via SN. It seems to be a bit hit and miss as to how much people suffer but I don't like the sounds of the bad experiences at all.

There are other life things holding me back from CTB anyway at the moment but I'm sure when my situation has changed- the fear of pain will put me off.

 

[forever dreaming]

I always wondered what the CTB rates would be if there was a painless accessible route. I think it would be a telltale state of the world if there was ever such a day

Yes- definitely. I'm scared of the pain, the distress and likely panic I might feel- I'd likely go out via SN. It seems to be a bit hit and miss as to how much people suffer but I don't like the sounds of the bad experiences at all.

There are other life things holding me back from CTB anyway at the moment but I'm sure when my situation has changed- the fear of pain will put me off.

Nice name

 

[heavyeyes]

I'm not scared of the pain or suffering. I'm scared of failure and SI.

 

[grendel4578]

yeah, i have extremely sensitive nerves that have been getting worse likely due to MS so yeah, plus i'm also worried i'd fail and end up paralyzed and be forced to live as a vegetable. if i ever do muster up the energy to get a job and get money i'll either buy sodium nitrite or a 10 gauge shotgun and i don't think either of those would fail or cause me pain. all of the free methods like drowning, cutting, jumping, etc don't seem reliable enough to me. if i had leprosy i think that'd make me inable to feel pain so i'd probably try to cut open my carotid artery or jugular vein, but that's wishful thinking, i don't think i will be able to contract leprosy :(

 

[Decided98]

i've been wondering about this for a while. i don't really have access to any peaceful methods so i have to default to more 'intense' ones + i always end up scolding myself for being a coward for simply not jumping from a window or slicing myself open.

but, is anyone else afraid of the pain of a ctb? i know that i want to die, but i just can't seem to find the courage to push myself over the edge.

Better than continuing to live in this sht hole

 

[hdahsa]

I also wonder how many people would continue to live if there was a legal, peaceful way available to ctb.

I think the fear of failing in the attempt and then living like a vegetable or not gathering the courage to try again is a major deterrent. To even try to ctb, one requires a great amount of courage.

If you are really close to ctb and you have methods available then it is a little less difficult. If there are still doubts or hesitation then you are not ready yet.

 

[leavingsoon99]

I'm at a point where I don't care about the pain. Pulling the trigger will be easier than waking up the following morning.

 

[Slipkorn]

For me it's the SI that's the hardest. If I could get my hand's on some pills or something like that, I'd do it in a heartbeat.
Every time I try to partial or night I back out like a bitch.

 

[animetal]

Personally, I don't feel scared instead, I'm kind of excited and relieved. My chosen method is SN, and Ive recieved my SN last night. Although I do still feel anxious and a little bit scared at times due to survival instinct

Personally, I don't feel scared instead, I'm kind of excited and relieved. My chosen method is SN, and Ive recieved my SN last night. Although I do still feel anxious and a little bit scared at times due to survival instinct.

Hi would it be okay if you pmed me a link to where you got your SN

 

[NoLoveNoHope]

Personally no, I am planning to reduce pain and discomfort in my method so I should be in hopefully euphoria or unconscious when the stronger symptoms set in.

 

[Green_leaf]

Yes, that is the case--Greenberg, GasMonkey and Tired Horse have all confirmed it, they're experts, and you're not

Don't take it personal, was just a way of stating how my experience with nitrogen had been.