For me the fear of trying to cease existing going wrong and leading to way worse torture and suffering certainly keeps me trapped in this dreadful, futile existence as I find it terrifying how such can happen.
I always suffer so much from being denied painless guaranteed death to escape from the suffering of this existence I always saw as a mistake where I'm just hoping and waiting to cease existing anyway, all I want is to never suffer again and I find it horrific how there is no limit as to how much one can suffer in this existence.